A pinch of salt to enhance the taste !!

 

My sister and I were discussing yesterday, about the excessive use of abusive language and cuss words in OTT serials. My sister was saying that all these serials can definitely be made without using such foul language ‘in a better way’. Thinking about this made my memories jog to yesteryears. (as it has in many of my recent posts)

The days of childhood and early teenhood. It was a time when cuss words (Gaali – in Hindi) was a way of talking to friends. It was a language in itself with a judicious mix of sharp words thrown with varying degrees of intensity and voice modulations. Like animals make different sounds with their voice box to depict different emotions (A dog for example- barks, whines, growls to express different emotional states - anger, sadness and ferocity respectively.) ; gaalis were ‘thrown’ in different ways to express anger, hatred, laughter, evilness and even sadness at times. Cuss words were used as all figures of speech and in each of its forms as well. It could be in place of a noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, adjective and as a noun form, verb form, adjective form etc. In fact, when talking to friends, each sentence used to have atleast two cuss words. A true friend was one with whom you could talk this way and neither of you felt anything much about it later on and neither one was offended in any way. It was a very normal way of talking to each other.  

And of course, you had full control over it – never used to be uttered in front of parents, teachers, elders or girls. At the time, we used to think that girls are generally not knowledgeable in this kind of vocabulary. I know better now. They do know all of it. They just don’t think it is prudent or feminine to express it so openly.

As we grow older, our environments change and the time you spend with friends is ‘replaced’ by time you spend in office with colleagues and seniors and with your family. It is not ‘conducive’ then to speak such foul language openly. Hence you mellow down. You even come to a point where you don’t like it. And of course, you would teach your kids not to pick up such things from their friends. 

But somewhere there is a child in everyone of us, who is still out on the ground playing cricket with his friends and swearing loudly at each and every one of them……!! 😊

Coming back to OTT serials, I partly agree with my sister that it doesn’t need to be there – THAT MUCH. But it shouldn’t be totally censored. Because even swearing is an art. Imagine if you were really angry and swearing at somebody in a very flat monotone. It would have no effect, no power in the expression at all. The person would kiss you rather than being very angry at you for abusing them !!

For me, the fact is I really enjoy a series if it has its fair share of abusive language and cussing – not too much, but a little bit of it. Used with the right timing and intensity, it gives a very powerful effect to a dialogue!!

As a metaphor - just a pinch of salt is enough to enhance the taste of the dish exponentially…..      

Frisbee - the boomerang

 During our days as kids, some games were seasonal for us (My friends and I). And others were like a fad coming in during a time and then going out eventually.  

We played football during monsoons, cricket at other times. Hide and seek, catch and cook never went out of season. We always played, but eventually as we got older it stopped as it was considered for-the-younger-kids kind of game. There was a game called fielding in which we threw the ball hard on a big wall. It rebounded and the person in whose direction it went had to stop it before it rolled to the boundary. It went out after a few years. One-tip cricket was a rage when we were in college. We used to play under a street light pole, which was basically the stumps. At the time, not many cars were parked on the streets, so the streets were relatively free for us to play !! Eventually we stopped that too. (We lost our space to the cars which were parked near the street light pole AND a speed braker was built near it too as if someone from the road department had decided not to let us play !!)

Another such ‘fad’ during our college days was ‘frisbee’. This is what this post is about – the frisbee. I think we first started playing frisbee when our fifth semester engineering exams started!! There was this huge gap of 3-4 days between two exams, so obviously, since we studied only on the last day, the rest of the days were treated more of a ‘normal leave’ than a ‘study leave’. Someone had this idea of playing a relaxing game, instead of something like cricket, which could give us finger injuries !! So frisbee started.

There is a garden in front of my house. We all played there. Playing frisbee is total bliss. Kind of a very liberating feeling !!

Believe me, there are people who cannot throw a frisbee well !! Most of my friends and I did pretty well. When thrown well, it glides beautifully and gracefully. You can throw it straight, fast or slow. You can throw it along the ground so that it just drifts over the grass. You can throw it at an angle upwards or downwards. You can make it just skim (bounce) the ground and rise rapidly again !! You can even make it boomerang back to you or throw it at a steep sideways angle, so that it soars sideways but lands in front - perfectly in a person’s hands !!

Catching a frisbee too gives you a super feeling !! You can catch it with your wrists turned either way. You can catch it side on or in front. You can time your jump or dive to catch. Frisbee catches when taken are as amazingly stylish and satisfying to watch as they are to take !!  And while it doesn’t take very high skills to either throw or catch a frisbee, a reasonable amount of dexterity and nimble footedness is definitely required. Even dogs love to play it !!

All in all a superb game. So one of my old friends was saying that he played frisbee today right after those days. So I threw a frisbee at a high steep upward angle into my memory and those memories came back to me like a boomerang!!

My journey and the start of a new innings

 

I always think that the hours to go before the time you actually reach the airport are the worst in terms of emotional state for everyone – including the one who is travelling away for a long time and also his family and folks. Its not that bad for the latter, as they have each other, something the former does not once he is abroad !!

Anyway, check in and the rest of things took 2 and a half hours, so that by the time I was at the boarding gate, people had already started boarding !!

Schipol wasn’t bad at all – for me. (After reading facebook forums, I had prepared myself for things like – long long queues to passport control, baggage or baggage not arriving at all, or anything else that may be the case. But because I was prepared, I guess I was out in a little over half an hour !! (Murphy’s law). It was a feeling of nostalgia as I came to the familiar old red checkered square which is called as 'the meeting point'. I was back here the same way in 2013, but with my friend and colleague.  

After thinking and thinking whether to catch a taxi – which was OUTSIDE the airport or whether to go by train, I finally froze ‘Train’. The taxi would’ve cost me half my flight ticket to Amsterdam and so my sense of adventure kicked in, I bought a train ticket and dragged two big wheelies weighing about 23 Kgs each along with a handbag and backpack weighing around 12 Kgs together into the elevator that took me to the Schiphol NS station. I felt like a soldier carrying a light artillery weapon and dragging his sack alongwith it !! The train arrived and I quickly loaded the luggage in the train. The train was to leave in just a minute !! Choosing to sit on the seats by the door, I rearranged everything so that it wouldn’t come in the way of anyone. As I settled down, I heard the announcement that the train would start a little later, as there was some problem !! It started a full 10 minutes later and I wondered whether I would miss the connection train !! I wouldn’t have worried if I was without any luggage, but then WITH it was a different concern !!

Luckily, I got the connection equally easily. I reached my destination after a full 2 hours. That wasn’t bad at all. After getting down at the destination station, a lady asked me if I needed help with the luggage. I politely refused, but thanked her. Coming out of the station, I dragged all my luggage another half a km to my new home. Even half a km seemed to be an eternity. The housing agent was there with the keys, right on time. She showed me around the house, got my signature on the inspection sheet and left. (after all it was a Sunday !!). My wife had packed some stuff for lunch and I gobbled it up quickly. After some sleep and a chat with home, I got outside to buy stuff – Milk, cheese, bread and all.

After this, time has simply whooshed by. I had thought of writing a post immediately upon arriving, delayed it to the second week and then the second month and now I'm almost 3 months here !!

All this time, Ive had a lot of fun – making new friends, meeting the old, doing a new kind of work and settling down in a new life and weather !! I decided to finally post this post, so that I could move on with more posts !! This post was like a barrier which I had decided to post before any others !! Now that its out of the way - the road is clear !! 

The glory and fun of flying

 I checked in my 15 kg bags with a huge relief and collected my boarding pass. The first 'hurdle' was over. I shuffled over to the security counter, put my laptop and other belongings on the tray and stood like in Titanic pose on the small platform while the the security check officer ran the metal detector probe over my arms and body.

With sleepy and watery eyes, I went over to the immigration check. Looking at the customs officer like a zombie, I answered his routine questions and was cleared. Relieved, I went towards my boarding terminal looking around at the colourful shops and the colourful people. A little girl around 4-5 years of age called her mother from a distance. I was reminded of my daughter back at home. 

I sat in the waiting area at the boarding gate. My flight was at 12.30 am and I was off to Africa for a long rotation of 3 months of a company assignment after a beautiful holiday back in india. Sitting down on a waiting seat, I thought about the people back home and generally about people who like many others were back from office after a long day and enjoying dinner with family, happily chatting and laughing away at the 'events of the day narrations' !! All comfortable, satisfied with a full stomach and at being back home with their family finally. They will finish dinner and go and lie on a flat bed to sleep comfortably and wake up fresh for another day. My tired eyes watered even more at the thought. Here I was, at the airport having cleared all formalities, but the prospect of a long journey ahead, that too in the claustrophobic interiors of an airplane, where the only thing you can look forward to is the take off and the landing. And then after the travel part is over, a loneliness of being away from your family in a faraway land. It does require time to get used to, but yeah, those are the initial feelings. Especially if you are travelling for a long assignment.

When I was young, my father was an 'emerging executive' in a big company. He used to frequently travel, but for a few days each time. I remember feeling proud of him when he used to break the news that he is going to travel to a particular country. My sister and I used to be all excited at this news and used to keep our 'lists' so that he shops accordingly !! 

He had a passport with the visa stamps from a lot of countries. I used to scroll through those pages in awe. On the day of travel, he used to pack his bags, put on his formal shirt, trousers and a blazer. Passport in his pocket and polished shoes shining like a mirror, with a wheelie bag, he used to be off. Most of the times we were there to drop him off at the airport. The airport was very posh. His colleagues and he were all very formal looking. Back then, I used to think that it must be 'fun' apart from a 'glorious' and very 'official' way to travel - by an aeroplane. At the time, it was relatively rare for people from middle class to travel by airway. So if someone in the family travelled by flight - that too internationally - it was a matter of prestige and elite. 

Mostly, when dad returned, I used to go with my mother and grandparents to pick up my father at the airport. Standing by the handrails at the arrival terminal, I used to eagerly wait, trying to keep an eye on every person coming out. Finally, the familiar figure used to wave out at us. The same crisp blazer and the same high polish shoes while returning too !! His trolley used to be laden with plastic bags of gifts, toys and chocolates from duty free. There were more gifts inside those wheelies too !!

These days everything is available in India, so much so that whenever you go to another country, you might actually try to find something unique to buy, but finally end up bringing just souvenirs !! 

As years passed, Dad's arrival at the airport became routine, even boring, waiting at the arrival terminal. Dad rose in the organization and his travel became more and more frequent. In general too - flying became more and more common in India over the years. 

The whole flying affair just sort of lost its 'glory' in my mind !! As we grew up, toys were no longer our enjoyment factor  and shopping abroad became only the souvenirs and chocolates.  

More recently, even chocolates from all over the world are available in India !! When I finally flew abroad on my first official visit, I understood that flying isnt that 'posh' and 'enjoyable' or 'official' always. I fully understood what dad went through all those years. Frequent travel isnt exactly a bed of roses and you actually miss out on what your folks at home are enjoying the night that you travel - a time with family and flat bed to sleep peacefully !!      

School reopening and return of the monsoons

 In those days, monsoons started in the month of June. By the time, school reopened for the new academic year, even the skies used to mourn - turning several shades darker, hiding the sun. In turn, we boys used to mourn going to school after 2 months of our summer holidays. From playing all day to studying all day (Exaggeration intended. I have never studied all day.). From sleeping whenever we felt like, to sleeping whenever our parents instructed to. From eating raw mangoes and rai awlas, to eating healthy food. From being pampered by our grandparents back in native place to being disciplined by our parents. It was a return from Shangri-la and an entry into the dark and smelly school corridors. (I say dark and smelly, not because our school was unclean or anything. Only that it was relatively dark during rainy weather when school started and the combination of smells from the wet and dry socks of around 5 dozen kids smelled like sewage. Sorry for being so gross about it, but it was !!).

Some kids enjoyed returning to school. We used to call these kids as weirdos. From me and almost all my friends, love of going to school was a heinous crime and looking happy at the thought of going to school was a punishable offence !! I hated going to school, I hated going to college and I hate going to the office also !!

Returning back to the point, monsoons are wet as the ocean in Mumbai. If it starts raining, it seems like an eternity before it stops. And it rains hard. Children used to wear full raincoats. Most of us wanted their parents to buy them gumboots. I never got gumboots. My parents always bought me sandals. I used to crib at this at the time. Later I realized that, I am one of the few, who is not contributing towards the gross smell.  Also, those gumboots pick up water. Its like standing in puddles of water. You have to remove and overturn them, so that the water is drained away. Splashing and sploshing, we used to make our way to school from home. Outside the gate of our assembly hall, muddy footprints were all over. Obviously, there was a lot of slipping and sliding. The assembly hall was open at the sides and the sound of our assembly prayers was dampened by the noise of rain, pattering down the ground and crashing down the metal shades. When it was time to go upstairs to the classroom, it was again through the wet footprinted stairs. In the classroom, every now and then, we had to close the windows as children who sat near the windows used to get sprayed by rainwater ocassionally. On returning from school, some evenings were lost sitting at home, since it rained so much that one could not go out to play. Sometimes, however, my mother used to make paper boats with me and we used to place them in the large puddles of water, enjoying seeing the boat making off to far away downstream. Also, it was fun, when my mother made some hot ‘taakatla sabudana’ or something hot like ‘wada pav’ was bought. During monsoons, there used to be frequent power cuts all over the town due to rain. All of us (My colony friends and I) used to come downstairs for a chat, if it was late evening time. A return of power was almost always accompanied by a loud cheer from all over town. Sleep time used to come pretty soon, with me and my sister cuddling up to our mother, while my father used to read a book and go to sleep.

Im just re-living those days of monsoons back in school via this post. These days, I look forward to the monsoons, since it gives us that slight relief in terms of soaring temperatures. Rains do not come in June. It comes in July at the least. My daughter goes to school very happily. So a lot has changed. One thing hasn’t which is…..personally I don’t feel like going to office in monsoons to this day !!     

Fear of the mechanic

 The guy slowly raised his eyebrows so that they were as far up as they could be. Peeling his eyes from the screen of my ipad, he looked at me slowly, with a suspicious look on his face. I was too familiar with the look and had received it umpteen times from – mechanics, repairman, IT people in office and even doctors at times.

The screen of my Ipad started flickering a few weeks back, probably due to overuse, overheat or maybe someone just sat on it!! I tried a few solutions on it - youtube hacks, giving it a sharp rap, banging it on the pillow and lastly, tried the best solution there ever is to any gadget – restart it.

Nothing worked, screen was still flickering. My daughter was woeful. After all, internet, phones and screen gadgets are the life of kids these days. I took pity on my daughter’s ‘situation’ and went out to the electronics repair store and showed my iPad to the ‘guy’ mentioned above. He connected it to the charger and turned it on (It was turned off by me after trying a ‘shutoff and switch on’ routine.).

When he turned it on, the screen came alive, perfectly ok, no flicker, no hint of fading light, no darkness on the edges, no ‘ghosts’ – thereby the suspicious look on his face.

Like a little kid trying to justify a naughty prank, I told him “It was flickering at home, don’t know what happened to it here.” “Maybe it just started working after you checked it. Aap se darr gaya woh” He smirked and said ok sir.        

I’m sure it has happened with all of us. Whenever a gadget goes awry and we call a repairman to fix it or take it to a repairman, it works perfectly in front of him. In that way a gadget is similar to a young child, who is all mischievous in front of folks at home, but SO well behaved in front of outsiders!!

Let alone gadgets. I have had such situations with myself and the doctors as well. The day I decide to visit the doctor for an illness, I start feeling well and by the time I am at the physician’s clinic, it seems pointless being there at all. Even doctors have given me the same suspicious, quizzical look as that of the repairman.

To narrate another story - Once my bike lost ignition and stopped. I was stuck on the main road. The mechanic was somewhat far from the place (Past a signal junction and a ‘U-turn’). I tried the kick start, the electric start - with and without the choke. Also tried jump starting it (after seeing a youtube video in the middle of the road !!). Finally there was no other solution, than to push it to the garage. I reached the garage, walking, trotting, even running while pushing the bike. By the time I reached the garage, I was soaking with sweat and panting like a dog. I told the mechanic what had happened. He said ok, put the bike on centre stand, turned the key and kicked the start. The engine fired to life – he pulled at the throttle and it whirred. Then looking at me, he smiled. Here I had pushed the bike for about a kilometer and a half, sweated like a pig from the effort of it to get it to a garage, where this guy had started it in a jiffy without even opening up the engine !! It was like a mockery of my efforts !! Unreasonable, but for this reason, I was kind of angry on the mechanic for starting the engine at all !! 😊

Why it happens, god knows? But it does and lots of times.  

So, guess it means that mechanics, repairman and doctors are all necessary to put things right and work well again and sometimes even fear or presence of them is sufficient !!   

Nina Pretty Ballerina

Every day in the morning on her way to the office
You can see her as she catches a train
Just a face among a million faces
Just another woman with no name.....

Friday evening she turns out to be...

Nina, pretty ballerina, now she is the queen of the dancing floor
This is the moment she's waited for.......

Nina, pretty ballerina, who would ever think she could be this way
This is the part that she likes to play
But she knows the fun would go away
If she would play it every day

So she's back every morning to her work at the office
And another week to live in a dream
And another row of early mornings
In an almost never-ending stream
Doesn't talk very often, kind of shy and uncertain
Everybody seems to think she's a bore
But they wouldn't know her little secret
What her Friday night would have in store...........

-Credits ABBA song: Nina pretty ballerina  (Disclaimer - It is not my song, I didnt write the lyrics...I do not own any of it.) I'd say, please hear the song / read the full lyrics first before reading on....as without hearing the song, the post may seem to be meaningless. The links are given below. 

But.....just love to hear it. I can relate to it. In fact plenty of us can relate to it. Inside of office / working hours, as a whole, we are all dedicated, no-nonsense, serious....no laughter in the meeting rooms, no casual behaviour in front of the top brass... professionals....no fooling around....

Outside of it - we are different than it. All of us have some talents, some desires, some hobbies, some vices....(This is for most of us. There are odd ones everywhere.). Its like being in two different worlds, in a parallel universe. But that is the way it is and rightfully so...as the fourth para goes....'...She knows the fun would go away if she would play it every day.....' 

And then my favourite one....the last para....'...Doesn't talk very often, kind of shy and uncertain, Everybody seems to think she's a bore, But they wouldn't know her little secret, What her Friday night would have in store...........' 

Some people aren't just DIFFERENT in the outside world....they TRANSFORM - meaning their personality changes totally - like the Nina in the song. 

I remember a driver who was in my father's employ for many years. He was a total professional, always well dressed, very polite, spoke to the point, never quite engaged in casual chat either. But once I saw him in a parking lot with his friends - totally different, all high fiving, doing little jigs and talking and laughing loudly. 

A very different example would be Sachin Tendulkar - quiet, shy and conservative in his interactions, especially in his younger days (who remembers his interview with Tom Alter?) But on the field, he was in his element, fierce and blasting the opposition to smithereens with his batting. (Of course, Sachin's case is  different in that he was that way in his 'work' :))

I tag everyone who reads this blog to comment in the 'comments' section to write about one such 'Nina' whom they can think of when they hear the song? For those who havent heard the song, please hear it below is the youtube link 

Nina Pretty Ballerina by ABBA  

For lyrics, following is the link:

Nina Pretty Ballerina lyrics  

The shore of luck.

 Happens with everyone I guess, but there are phases in life which are so bad and cruel to you, that you feel like you are falling into an endless pit. No success, no rays of light, no hope, no way out. And situations where you're either mistreated or insulted or feel victimized all the time. People dont understand you and dont care about you or your sound logical advice. Its like you are in the continuous presence of a dementor (read Harry Potter books to understand what it means.). Whatever you do fails, wherever you invest, there is loss and wherever you go is a dead end. Funniest part is the moment you start thinking that  you have had enough or when you feel that things have quietened down a bit, there comes a full barrage again. As if someone has called in for an air strike on you. Its like being hydrotested (not in a mood to explain technical terms. Read this one on the internet.) 

What can you do? Nothing. Period. Try all you want. In this phase, nothing works. The sooner you realise that you are going through this phase the better it is. Move, dodge, duck and let go of situations. Just dont take anything head on. Ride the tide. Just see to it that the boat doesnt capsize - that is dont lose your confidence, dont lose your wits.  Its difficult, but it is what it is and its there to stay for sometime atleast. Sit tight, sit it through and you will reach the shore of luck. 

And then as human nature goes, when you do reach the shore of luck, you wont even remember the nightmarish phase.     

   

Majhi Aaji

17th February 2022 -  morning started as usual. Morning tea, office work, breakfast etc. But then my mother called up with a 'hard to believe' news for me. Aaji had passed away. You may say why would this be a 'hard to believe' news. Old people do pass away. Especially at an age of 87, it is only a matter of time, even to those who are in the best of health. But when someone this close passes away, it is really hard to believe for the loved ones. 

My oldest memories of Aaji start with me going to their place in pune every summer holidays. Aaji, Ajoba and mama were my favourite family !! Ajoba was the disciplinarian types but used to buy us sweets and used to take us out to eat. Mama was the sportsman and used to take us to the ground every evening, where I used to jog and play. Aaji used to shower all her love on me, used to give me whatever I wanted and used to reprimand my mother for reprimanding me !! Her everyday cooking was so good, I swear by her 'Chinch gul Amti' to this day. Eat as much as you want and exercise / play as much as you can, she used to tell me - this was the secret ingredient to her health. I used to feel most comfortable in discussing my thoughts and feelings with her. She too confided everything in me. 

I remember her narrating her childhood memories. One of my favourite, goes like this .....

Aaji's mother used to tie her to the window since she was extremely active, mischievous and used to bully kids of the neighbourhood. This was confirmed once by my grand-aunt (grandmother's elder sister), who also said that the kids used to drop whatever they were playing and run away at the sight of my grandmother coming out of the house !! My grand-aunt had also said that once 'leeli' (My grandmother's pet name (maiden name was Leela).) had asked her to face the wall and when she did, had pulled her legs from underneath her causing my grand aunt to hurt herself badly. No one who had seen her in adult life, would ever imagine that this very kind lady was once the cause of terror in the neighbourhood !!  

My aaji and I played cards a lot during those summer holidays. Rummy and ek-shey-aath being our favourite card games. When Ajoba wanted to play with us (rare occassion), aaji used to tell him jokingly, "Naka khelu tumhi. Bhayankar wel laavta khelayla" and used to smile at me. This was  also rare - Aaji telling Ajoba off. She used to give me a bath everyday herself till the time I was atleast 10 years old !! The song she sang during my bath went like this......"Jai Gange jai bhagirathi, jai jai ram, dasharati...."    

I remember waiting happily for Aaji at our city's bus depot, bouncing at the thought that she and Ajoba would be here for a few days now. Each time a ST bus came into the depot, I used to ask aai whether this is the one that Aaji is in. She used to love the Apna Bazar near our place - atleast one trip during their visit was fixed. 

When it was time for her to return to pune (or in my case, return from pune), I used to cry a lot, clinging on to her and begging her and Ajoba not to go. More than once, I remember them staying back a couple of days more. Almost at all times, aaji was also in tears while parting. 

She herself was a very healthy individual and was regular in her lifestyle and habits. She used to do pranayam regularly and went on walks, lately only inside the campus - but everyday. Her meal times were regular and she used to eat almost a 'measured' quantity of food per meal. She loved 'Shira', a sweet dish that is made in quite a few parts of India. Till the last day, she was mobile, moving on her feet and could even touch her head on her knees while sitting !! (Something which my 6 year old cannot do !!) 

In later years, she took great care of Ajoba when he was bedridden. The day he died she went into a kind of shock and later on kept on telling me to ask Ajoba if he requires anything. In a hope to put an end to her shocked state, I tried telling her in a loud and aggravated voice that he is no more and she should stop saying this. "He is gone aaji and he will not come back now." I remember almost yelling at her. I think she perceived Ajoba's death as the end of the purpose of her existence as well - at the time atleast !! Slowly she started returning back to normal. 

I used to visit her and call her every now and then. Last year, I had stayed with her for a couple of weeks. I met her last month when I was here in Pune and it was the last time that I did. She used to tell me every now and then that all her grandchildren and children are the best in the world and that she is proud of them !! I am glad she saw all her grandchildren and her great grandchildren hale and hearty !!

A grandparent's love is unconditional and the relation is like no other. Aaji meant as much as my mother to me. Her loss cannot be expressed in words and I wont try it either.     

This post may not be properly written, but it does bring back my aaji to me at least for the time I am writing the post. And as I try to conclude the post unwillingly, it feels like aaji is going back to pune again, leaving me in tears. Sure, it will be back to life as usual for me - I have her blessings. As for aaji, hopefully she is in peace wherever she is, somewhere up there, watching over me, and in the meantime having a chat with Ajoba !! 

People may come and go,

But memories of them stay,

Their blessings keep us strong, 

Till death take us away.               

       

Mother nature - Beautiful, wonderful, but so powerful.

The mountains and the bees, the rivers and the seas, 

The falls and the leaves, the valleys and the breeze. 

Oh my beautiful, ma nature wonderful,

Oh mother nature, you're but so powerful. 

The sunny mornings, the orb of light,

The moon that shimmers and shines so bright.

The dew drops like diamonds, raindrops like crystals,

The chirping of birds and the jungle whistles 

Oh my beautiful, ma nature wonderful, 

Oh mother nature, you're but so powerful.  

 

The tall tall mountains and the deep deep valleys,

The gorges of the tornadoes down the alley,

The huge storms and the black clouds, 

The cyclonic winds blowing so loud,

Oh my beautiful, ma nature wonderful,

Oh mother nature, you're but so powerful

Indian home-made food and the culinary skills required.

When you live on your own, one of the main tasks is preparation of food. If you live alone in any part of India, you may find homemade or near- homemade food outside with some research. I have known people who have lived in various parts of India for several years and never had to make their own food. But yes, outside of India and depending on the place, getting homemade food from an outside joint may be difficult. In such cases, you have to learn and rely on your own cooking.  

When you start cooking your own food, the journey into your mother's area of expertise begins. These days, youtube can help with lots of recipes and food channels being available. So do video calls with mother or wife !! 

I vaguely remember my 'cooking streak' started with cutting onions, making tea and instant noodles. Slowly I graduated to making Potato sabji, rice and dal in the steam cooker and egg preparations (Bhurji, omlettes, scrambled eggs). 

The other day, one of my friends told me that he is going to UK for studies. He said he was worried because he could only make tea and instant stuff but no sabji. I told him - just learn how to make potato sabji and you can make sabjis out of almost all other veggies in the same way. He found the tip useful -  he told me so and also because I saw him alive returning after his 2 years of studies !!

I'd say cooking is not difficult. Anyone with a fairly good sense of taste and estimation can cook a decent one time meal - Decent one time meal - here meaning that it can atleast be digested properly at the time without causing any trouble along the way !! 

In the long run, or if you are going to cook for a long period of time regularly / everyday, the struggle is for the right consistency and the balance of ingredients while keeping the taste, texture and the nutritive value alive. 

1.    Consistency - The same taste repeats when you repeat the recipe. 

2.    Balance - Everything is just right. The right amount of spice, salt, sweetness - nothing in excess than is absolutely necessary. 

3.    Taste - It should be tasty no matter how much or how little you use of the ingredients in order to keep it at healthy levels. 

4.    Texture - An onion tomato gravy should have a gravy-like texture !! Raw / uncooked slices in the pulp of onion or tomato spoil the texture. Another example is uncooked dal in a curry. Or partially cooked chickpeas in 'cholle' 

5.    Nutritive value - For the sake of creaminess or richness, you cannot be heavy handed on the oil, butter or ghee. You have to maintain healthy levels of it if its in everyday cooking.    

When I lived alone and cooked everyday, I struggled with Point no. 1,  was ok with pt. 2, 3 and 5 and was strictly ok with Point no. 4. 

All in all, with experimentation, trial and error, a certain level of understanding and common sense, you can manage to prepare almost everything. 

However, it is said that even if you become a world class, michelin rated chef,  you will always miss your mother's food. 

Another belief, which I had heard when I was young and lately experienced it is that eating a meal cooked by someone else is always more tasty and satisfying than a meal which you have prepared yourself !! (Its probably because when you make it yourself, and it doesnt turn out as good as you expected,  you feel let down mentally - knowing the amount of effort you put in making it.) 

We Indians place a lot of importance on food. And rightfully so because we have the best of it in the whole world !! Westerners may call our food oily, spicy, extremely hot, too sweet and all the things that may defame it or put it in bad light. 

But it isn't so at all. In fact, quite the opposite. The real Indian foods - 'real' meaning the 'home-made' ones are very nutritious and balanced - just perfect in those regards. These are perfectly 'designed and created' keeping in mind the weather, levels of activity and the availability of crops in those regions. 

 Prepared with fresh vegetables; perfected to an accurate proportion and recipe; fed to a child or served to a loved one with the preparers love and feelings; eaten with prayers, respect and reverence without wasting a mere morsel of it and then digested well due to the feelings of gratitude towards the food....our culture has covered all the science behind it as well !!

Our foods are in a later stage of evolution than any other cuisines and that is one of the basic reasons why we have to actually 'learn to cook' rather than just throwing in a lot of cut vegetables in a bowl and adding pinches of pepper, salt, dashes of this and that to it.........  

Cribbing

 I have come across a lot of 'cribbers' in my life. So much so that I can crib about cribbers cribbing about their life. Everyone knows that happiness is relative. A person is not happy because he has everything. He is happy because he has something MORE than others. With that definition, everyone is happy because others are not and everyone is not happy because others ARE !! (Dont know whether this is a Catch 22 situation??). 

Its not that the cribbing mindset is adverse - everytime. It increases your dissatisfaction and drives you do stuff, which you wouldnt do if you'd been satisfied or happy with it. It gives you an objective, a goal, a motivation. It makes people aware that you are unhappy about something and in office situations comes pretty handy at times !! 

On the other hand it pulls you down mentally and creates stress or friction. People start to avoid you - so that they don't bear the brunt of hearing your pains and lending you a sympathetic ear. (Who wants to hear of other's issues anyway? Dont they have enough on their plate already? :) )  So how to go about it? 

I have discovered - and it is totally based on my experiences - that its fun to crib, but in a detached sort of way. When we friends meet, we gossip and crib about things - office, life in general, people, other friends who aren't in the room etc. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction, of letting go a burden which you were bearing on your own. It even charges you up - you feel elated that your friend now knows and agrees with you (even though he will know only your side of the story, which makes him biased !! :) ). You crib, gossip, enjoy maybe over drinks and dinner or a ride in the car. And then its over. You leave it at that. You come back home and sleep soundly or watch TV. There is no dissatisfaction in your mind at all, because you cribbed - BUT in a DETACHED way. 

All in all, you have to face all sorts of situations in life. Some make you happy, some leave you sad, still others affect your decisions. If you let every other thing affect you, you will crib incessantly and with unnecessary involvement. Anyway, you have to face the situation it, so face it, crib about it to your friends or relatives, but in the end let it go. Find a solution. Move on. Time heals everything.  Dont get stuck. 

And please pardon the home grown philosophy in the last para.....     

Gifting.

 I am never very good at gifting. Be it for young toddlers, married couples, birthday boys, girls or for my lady love. I dont really have the passion or the thoughtfulness for selecting gifts. The first thing that comes to my mind when someone says 'gift' is -  a 'decorative' envelope with some money inside it. Plain simple money - crisp notes or old ones. After all, money is money. It cant buy you happiness but it can buy you a gift that brings you happiness. Money - you can keep it, deposit it in a bank, invest it, pass it to others or roll it up into a cigarette if you are as rich as Pablo Escobar. 

Recently, a good friend (lets call him 'R') invited me and my family to the birthday party of his 2 year old. Now what to get him?  A 'thoughtful' friend called me up and asked me what I had in mind. As usual I had nothing in mind except a 'decorative' envelope with some money in it. But - I kind of improvised and suggested we get him an amazon voucher. (Progress comes in small steps. From just money to a voucher is a significant improvement.) But my thoughtful friend (lets call him 'S') said, 'Kuch cheez dete hai yaar' and suggested that we buy him a push scooter. I tried my logic with him 'Look - What happens if someone else has already bought it?'. 

We finally decided to call up 'R' and ask him what gift should we give his child - frank discussion. 'R' is as thoughtless as I am and if possible even more !! He said what I had expected. 'Its not necessary to buy any gift. Anyway, he is already getting a push scooter from my sis'. I asked him whether we should give him a voucher so that he could buy something within that budget for his child? He was ok with that. So it was decided to buy a voucher for him. 

But 'S' wasnt happy. He called me two days later, saying that he wanted to buy something for 'R's kid. He sent me some photos of those kids tent which you just open up and kids can go in and out of it. Since S wanted to give it so badly, I told him to go ahead. So he ordered it and had it delivered to my place. We had both contributed for it and gave it R's son on his birthday and he was very happy with it. 

I realised that day that an actual gift given in surprise makes both the giver and taker happy. I remember on occasions when I used to get cash as a gift , it used to be passed on automatically to my parents and then it was done. There wasn't joy in that. There was no guarantee that out of that money, a gift would be bought for you. It would in fact be invested in some kind of fixed deposit with some additions !! 

It is ok if you gift cash to an adult. They will go out there and buy what they want. But its fun to see the child's expression when he opens the real gift, that you give him/her isnt it? Money is just paper for a child. What do you think?       

  

Eric Van Beek

 My first 'workshare' project was with the Netherlands office. Workshare is where work gets shared between two offices, with one of the offices acting as the main office and reporting directly to the client and the other acting as the engineering office, where most of the work is carried out. In this case, Netherlands office was the main office and we were the engineering office. 

I was around 7 years old at the time. (Not my age, my experience in years !!) And was assigned as the lead engineer on a particular project with around 5 colleagues working in my team. For the 'kickoff' meeting, we went to The Netherlands, where I met everyone from the Instrument dept and then taken to 'Eric Van Beek'.  He was introduced to me as my counterpart of the main office. 

I looked up at him. 

A balding gentleman with all his remaining hair white, approximately 6 ft 3 inches tall, with large glasses and a stern looking face was looking at me - from atop a tower, it seemed. Apart from being twice my size, he seemed to be atleast twice my age. At that moment, I remembered my father back in India, who might've been younger to the guy !! He shook hands with me and smiled. He had uneven teeth, looked kind of 'fierce' and reminded me forcibly of a certain character in Asterix comics. I smiled back and we exchanged the niceties. Over the next few days, we became familiar and I realised that, contrary to his fierce appearance, Eric was quite friendly. There were a lot of jokes and laughter when he was around. However, I got the feeling somehow that he wasn't interested in work. Looking back now, I think maybe it was just me - I was a bit too eager to start off work on my first workshare project and as a first time lead !! 

Once when I went upto him during that 5 day visit to the main office and asked him whether we can discuss a few queries which I have, he said yes. However, he simply noted the queries, without providing answers to any of it at the time !! A bit annoyed, I asked him when could I expect a response on those, he replied very curtly and directly that "I cannot provide you the replies to it anytime soon. I am yet to read all the scope documents. When I complete doing that I will tell you." 

I was kind of taken aback at this reply. Half of me was annoyed and the other half was unpleasantly surprised at the curtness of his reply. Perhaps, at the time, I thought it was even rude !! Annoyed because, you would normally be prepared for a critical meeting atleast. Also, I tended to think that he wasnt taking me seriously because of my age or experience. Later on, as I worked with the dutch, I came to know that they are very 'direct', as in - they dont care about mincing words. They tell you everything very 'to the point' without beating around the bush. Maybe that is why he said it the way he did. 

Later on Eric came for a co-ordination visit to India. When I went up to meet him as he arrived in our office, he looked like a small kid who'd just been given the biggest ice cream you've ever seen !! He shook my hand vigorously, told me that he just loved the warm weather in India and was waiting to eat the spicy food !! He was very eager to find out more about 'Indian culture' which he knew is very colourful and vibrant. He even asked me about 'Bhagavad Gita' and where he could get a copy of it. He said that he had heard a lot about ancient Indian scriptures and books and he thought that they should be a part of the country's school curriculum - to which I agree. 

Once during the same visit, we took all our dutch counterparts for a treat to a popular restaurant which served Rajasthani food. Eric was very adventurous in trying all sorts of dishes - right from the ones which were VERY HOT and SPICY to those which were VERY SWEET. At one time he dipped his big finger in a 'Rajasthani lehsun ki chutney' (Chilli garlic chutney) known to be very hot -even for Indians and licked the whole of it in one go, as if to prove a point and said, "Oh, When, I stayed in Saudi Arabia for sometime I had eaten lots of spicy Indian food". 

Later on, when I went to the Netherlands on a long assignment, I found out that his wife had some prolonged illness. He had to travel frequently to Spain so that she could live in moderate climes which was good for her. In the times that he was in office, we chatted easily with each other as if like good friends - of the same age and as if we knew each other for a long time. "Ravi, you are the next stage of evolution" He used to say for fun. "You're small in size, must be consuming lesser food and are very intelligent !! - so an efficient and evolved human being, just like computers getting smaller in size with time." 

Another one of his favourite statements was, "We have taken so much advantage of nature, reclaimed so much land here in Netherlands that one day all of this will be under water. But then, I will be no more at the time !!" 

After my assignment, I was connected to him via linked. He once messaged me about the health problem that he had, but also said that it was fixed so he is getting better. The year 2017 was when I went out of the country on another assignment. I wished him a happy birthday that July. He replied back saying that he likes it that so many people remember him on his birthday and hoping that everything was good at my end and to keep in touch. 

Last year I wanted to wish him a happy birthday, so I asked a colleague whether I could have his watsapp no. My colleague informed me that Eric was no more. He wasnt keeping well for sometime and had finally lost the battle. 

I didnt know Eric that much or that well, but felt shocked on hearing that he'd passed away. He was one of those persons, whom you are in contact with only for a short period of time, but somehow, they stay in your good memories forever.                    

     

           

 

Fear factor

Fear is a negative emotion, right? 

You should not be afraid, 

Do not fear your opponent, 

If you are afraid you wont be able to do anything, 

Don't be afraid of me, 

are some statements we hear all our lives.

Fear of ghosts, fear of darkness, fear of God, fear of a situation, fear of death - all different forms leading to the same conclusion - Fear is a feeling of apprehension - of the unknown, of the unfamiliar, of the unchartered. 

Are all people in this world afraid of something or the other? Yes. But.....

A person who takes care of the cemetery cannot live in fear of ghosts and darkness if he wants to do his job !! 

A priest knows better to respect and pray to god than to fear him/her !! 

If 'Be prepared' is your motto, you will be able to function in any situation, however terrible it may be. 

A soldier performs his duties even in the face of death. 

My point is fear is the kind of ultimate truth which you would have to face if you do not counter it sooner or later. Fear keeps you on your toes and drives you to function the way you are supposed to. It may make you hesitant, reluctant or even stall you for a period of time. But it should never stop you from achieving your goals.      

Whenever, you are afraid, always remember - 

The presence of negatives are as necessary as the positives. 

Maybe not for the sake of mental peace, but for the sake of realizing the positives in life and making it worth living.    

Life is like a current. A current flows only when there is a positive and a negative. If there was only a positive, there would no current, there would be no life, isnt it? 

The Joy of Competition

Competition is unavoidable. Right from the time your parents conceive you till your death - its a competition all the way. Just as the song goes.....'Maa ke pet se marghat tak hai teri kahani pag pag pyaare - Dangal Dangal' 

As soon as you are out in this world, your first contest is your fight against illnesses to become healthy and strong. Luckily - your mother takes care of this one. 

As you grow older, there are a lot of fights with your siblings. 

Still older and you compete - in exams, with friends, with classmates. 

Still older and you may compete for the girl you love (depending on your inclination !!). 

Still older and you compete with your colleagues to earn more money or for a particular corporate position. 

Still older and you once again struggle with your health and compete with illnesses before dying.   

You may like some of the contests, others you dont, still others you hate and god help you in those where you even fear participation !!

Of these I have discovered that the contests I enjoy the most are sports competitions. Watching and participating are equally fun. 

When I was 10 years of age, I used to go for Karate classes. Apart from progressive tests for higher belts, there were also tournaments - for Kata and Kumite. 

Kata is a series of steps are performed sequentially. Kumite is a one on one sparring match. 

I was a recognized expert for Kata in my class. And being such, I entered a lot of inter-district, inter-state tournaments in Kata category for the same style of Karate. 

I remember my first tournament : It was an inter-district tourney and took place inside a badminton courthouse housing 3 badminton courts side by side plus some additional space. 3 events were held side by side, simultaneously. Only the finals of each category and age group were to be held separately, using the full courthouse. 

I was enlisted for the Kata contest and was competing with 30 other contestants of the same age category (12-15 years). Amongst the contestants was a national champion in Kata. He was a Brown Belt 3rd Kyu (I will henceforth call him KC for this post). I had heard a lot about the guy before - he had been highly praised by the Sensei and had a truckload of Medals. He had competed and won atleast 3 national awards in Kata.   

I was a green belt 5th Kyu at the time (Kyu is a kind of synonym for degree. It goes backwards - 3rd Kyu is higher up and more qualified than say a 5th Kyu) and very 'green' since it was my first tournament !! Obviously KC was my senior in terms of belt qualifications. 

The rules were as so - They called out the name of the student (Karate-Ka) on the microphone. That student had to come and stand on an yellow tape marked 'X' inside the  'Square' which was - a  large squarish area marked within a single badminton court. On the corners of the 'square', were four referees, who had placards in their hands to show the points after the Kata was completed. The main referee was at the center with a placard as well - facing you directly. The points system was simple - points were to be given from 1-10. Decimal points were also ok. A score of 9.6 to 9.9 could be considered really good. A perfect 10 was rare, but not impossible. The referee could also be your class instructor (So you were fairly certain of getting good points from him / her!!). The total of points was your total score and were given based on the perfection and intensity of your steps.        

When my name was announced in the first round, I got up smartly and went, stood on the 'X', offered my 'Salutations' which is done by covering your right fist with your left palm, holding it in front of you and bowing down from the hips. Then I took stance (hands down 45 degrees in front with clenched fists - about shoulder width). Then I shouted the name of the Kata loudly, so that the whole crowd sitting could hear it and as is customary. At that time, I had this strange burning sensation at the pit of my stomach (Nerves !!) 

Believe me, nothing can prepare you for this moment of nervousness - it has to come !! 

Then I started my Kata - punching, blocking and kicking at the invisible opponent in front - tight and fast so that the thick dress that I wore made a crisp, whisking noise at every step. No loose steps, no stumbling, everything done with precision and the occasional 'Kiai'. 

(The Kiai is a short shout which is uttered when you perform an attacking move. Basically, it empowers your movements. Eg. A cricket bowler grunts before he bowls a ball, or a tennis player does the same when he hits the ball with his racquet.) 

As I performed the Kata with absolute focus, the burning sensation eased off. I started enjoying whatever I was doing. The intent now was to do a perfect Kata, impress all five judges and to score perfect 10s. 

The referees were watching each step carefully. Hundreds of people in the packed spectators stand had their eyes on me !! I wanted to earn their wows and applauds, wanted to make my seniors and instructors sitting in the crowd feel proud of me. 

Finally, my Kata finished and I came to the resting stance. For a second there was silence and then the crowd exploded into a thundering round of applause whilst my fellow Karate-Kas from our class started singing - Ravi.....Raaavvviiii.....(then three claps). I couldnt really supress a smile and was feeling top of the world. The referees raised their placards. Three of the referees gave me a 9.8 and two of them 9.9 making it a total score of 49.2 !!. I had made it to the next round !! 

The next two rounds were quite similar and I was riding high on confidence by the end of it. From 30 contestants, I had made it to rounds of 15 and then to 10. 

7 of us qualified for the final round from which the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place would be decided. Obviously amongst these 7 was KC. KC and I both pulled really neat Katas and much to my surprise I had tied top scores with him. The rules said that if you tied for first place, both would do another round of Katas. 

KC came to perform his Kata first in the tie breaker. He started doing his Kata well, but at the second or third step - froze and faltered - forgetting the subsequent steps (Guess the pressure was on him to perform, since he had to uphold a national champs reputation !!). As per the rules, he was disqualified for the round meaning that his points for this round would be zero and he would automatically lose if I perform my Kata without forgetting the sequence of steps. 

My focus now shifted to only getting the steps right, even if it meant my movements were'nt as crisp as the previous rounds. I was'nt looking to score anymore, just that I had to COMPLETE the Kata correctly. After what seemed like an eternity, in which everything seemed to move in slow motion  - I finished my Kata, without forgetting or freezing at any step. As I came to the resting stance, I knew I had won the gold !!. 

As soon as the referees announced the points as a formality, the crowd erupted. This time the applause was deafening. I can never ever forget those moments in life - crowd standing on its feet all applauding, classmates shouting my name in joy their voices hoarse, some of them jumping off the stands, running towards me and carrying me on their shoulders, my parents and sister applauding also, their faces full of joy. Everything was so foggy ...just like a dream. But it was a dream come true!! I had won the gold and I had won it big, defeating a worthy opponent on the way. 

In sports, all nerves and pressure apart, once you enter the field of play, you start enjoying the game and forget everything else - its just a game and that it what games are meant to give you - enjoyment and pleasure. The element of contest added to it gives you a kind of adrenaline kick, inspires you to get ahead of your opponent and win. In a competition, the pressure is always on the participant who is at the top. 

And this gives the underdog a great chance to surge ahead !! All the effort, hard work and the practice that goes through is to achieve the final objective - a sweet victory. Exhilarating, glorious, intoxicating inspiring, blissfully sweet victory. And even if you do not achieve the ultimate, the honour of participation and the joy that it gives is unparallelled.          

          

  

    

Online school vs real school

Recently, as a fun activity for my 6 year old daughter - my sister told her to write a small passage - 'online school' vs real (in-person) school. I didnt think of it much at the time, since I was busy doing 'online work' for my 'online office', but later on in my free time, I thought that I should write something too - my observations for perusal later so that I can laugh about it after all this is over !!

  

The initial few minutes start with each child on logging in, unmuting his microphone and yelling "Good morning teacher !!" The thing with online and telephonic meetings is that everyone has an instinctive sense of speaking louder than usual - as if contemporary technology is still from the ancient 19th century times when telephonic conversations were full of background garble and noise and so you had to speak louder.  

As it is, most kids are loud. Such type of online setup will make them doubly loud and by the end of a class, they are loud even when you speak to them in the same room and from only a foot away !!

My daughter likes school. So it is not a problem for her to stay focused and attentive. But a colleague of mine told me that after he logs in and the class begins, his son just mutes his device, turns off his camera and starts playing with his toys !! I understand because I probably would've done the same if I was young and had SFH !! 

Since most of grown ups have friends outside of the office circle also, we can do without meeting  office colleagues (Although there are a few sad ones who dont have a life outside office. For them office is their life. Well known colleagues are their only friends, bosses are their only gurus, juniors are their real children and walking in office is the only exercise they get. If a bed was arranged for them in office, they would stay there at night too !!) 

But for kids as young as 4-6 years of age, their social life truly starts and develops at school - so this kind of online thing, puts them in a shell. There is no talking when the teacher is teaching, no drawing under the desks, no muffled eating, no playing games with rubber and pencils - in short none of the things for which we used to enjoy going to school !! Its only study and listen  (if the kid decides to do that much atleast without being distracted !!) 

Lots of observations which are funny, but overall full credit to the kids. They have been very co-operative (more than was expected from them atleast !!) during the lockdown times. Being with their parents all the time is as stressful for them as it is for us to be with them all the time !! Hope it will be back to fun and friends for them soon. 

     

Covid and memories of yesteryears...

 The whole Covid lockdown situation and people being put in isolation left and right reminds me forcibly of the time, when as a child, I used to be ill and down with fever. Back then, having fever was quite a regular thing, even though I was as healthy as the kids around me - who used to have fever from time to time too. I would say that we never really lived in as 'sanitized' an environment as our children are. Sure, we were taught by our parents to bathe after playing outside, or wash our hands before eating and all, but the city wasn't as clean as it is now with drives like swachta sarvekshan !!. There were regular waves of malaria, viral fever, influenza and conjunctivitis and I have been down with all of these plus some more !!.  

I used to go out to play - all day during the vacations and evening times when there was school. My friends and I used to play one-tip, underarm or overarm cricket matches, on the grounds and often on roads, where gutters were open all the time.  Since some of us were too lazy to wear shoes or in too much of a hurry to go downstairs, we used to wear sandals or flotters and since these were not at all suitable while running, we removed them, to run barefoot on the roads!! The roads were scorching hot during summer holidays and my feet used to be calloused, skin peeling off all the time.  In monsoons, we were out playing football on the ground in the sludge, splashing mud on each others face when kicking the ball. It used to be all hot, sweaty and dirty in the humid weather and a rain shower was most welcome, cooling the heat arising from a vigorous, fast and aggressive session of football. 

The ground where we used to play cricket and football had a steel fence around it. This was damaged in many spots, so that one could enter and exit the ground from an open area. The ground was surrounded on two sides by roads. On the third side there was a school and all along the fourth one, was a downward bank leading to a 15 feet wide sewage canal. 

Sometimes while playing cricket, an overbowled ball used to land up in the sewer. The canal usually had a flow - sometimes a quick one and sometimes not too fast. 10 rupees was big money at that time, atleast for us kids and we could do anything to rescue a 10 rupee rubber ball - be it from the dense bushes at the corner of the ground or be it from a stinky and repulsively smelly sewer !! And so, we used to climb over the fence and throw stones in the canal behind the ball so that it would drift towards us. Before it was too late, we formed a human chain and the guy nearest to the sewer and farthest from the fence used to 'rescue' the ball - one hand gripping the adjacent person's hand and with the other, guiding the ball toward himself using the cricket bat or a long stick. All this had to be done before it was too late and the ball was washed off downstream in the big underground sewer. Indeed this was the best display of team work !! Being the smallest (size wise) person in the group, I was the one who was the one farthest in the human chain and 'rescued' the ball most often, spoiling my flotters in the muck on the sewer banks. To this day, I can recognize the smell of sewer from a mile away !!

And then there were other smaller distractions. In the general store near the school we used to buy a 50 paise 'pepsi' which was basically a tube like popsicle frozen in a long plastic pack. You had to nip off the edge of the pack with your teeth, making a small hole out of which the cold flavoured juice could be sipped off - half an hour happily and sweetly spent. As we got older and had a little bit more money from our parents, we used to have a 5 rupee icy cool chamach gola after the morning 10-12 cricket match (during our Class 12 vacations.) All this despite repeated warnings from our parents not to consume them as the water used in these 'summer delights' could've been straight out of gutters as well, they said !! During childhood, I had quite often drank icy cold water right after coming home after play, have had loads of raw mangoes with salt and chilli powder and eaten gooseberries to my heart's content. 

The point of bringing out these nostalgic memories is that, 

1. We enjoyed all the above as kids, without fearing any fever, cold, cough, sore throat - which our parents were sure would follow. Upto a certain level, this kind of stuff indeed increased our immunity !! 

Since the last year or so, everyone lives in fear of having any of these. For instance, during covid times, which parent would send their kid in the scorching hot sun and let them have something like a chamach gola? Even a simple cold might be a covid positive infection and god knows how deadly it might be?  

2. Why is the corona virus killing millions and trillions in developed countries and is not as effective in Africa where large parts of the continent have not-so-good to bad sanitation? Is it because, as a developing country, we have become paranoid and have such highly hygienic conditions that our immune systems have become lazy and cannot fight corona virus?

3. Do you see kids these days on roads playing cricket or football? Or for that matter do you see kids playing outdoor sports at all? Leave aside the covid times (past one year), but generally do you see them outside?  

In those yesteryear memories, my heart wanders....

And on these questions, my mind ponders....

     

Questions of birth, life and death.

 

Recently we were blessed with a baby girl. As we would have expected, my first one had a basket full of questions of a typical 5 year old. How is a baby born? Where does it come from? How does it come? How did I come? When did I come? How much time is 5 years? Where was I before I came here?.....and so on they continue. Extremely funny, damn tricky to answer and surprisingly amusing to hear.

You are taken aback by this precise line of questioning. You know the answer and yet don’t know how to answer the questions!! Which is to say – you have the exact knowledge and yet you almost always fail to explain it to the 5 year old. After all a 5 year old’s logic is plain, simple and completely….LOGICAL. As adults we are definitely not in a position to EXPLAIN it logically – since we don’t know how much to reveal and how much to hold back.

The questions just continue and 5 year olds are rarely satisfied with any of the ‘Birth, Life and death’ related answers. They persist with it till they are distracted or they have another question!!

It is like being interrogated by a law enforcement officer or being stress interviewed.

Following are the questions I have been asked by my 5 year old first one and the answers I have tried to give her – honestly – as far as possible. (If you aren’t truthful, they are likely to CROSS QUESTION you later.)

Q: Why is mother becoming fat?

A: A baby is growing inside her stomach.

Q: What?!! Who put it there?

A: God put it there.

Q: What?!! How can that happen? Why didn’t he just put it outside then?

A: Babies are always born like this beta. First they are very small in the stomach, then it becomes bigger as it eats some of its mother’s food. Then after a few months it becomes so big that it comes out.

Q: Where does it come out from? How does it come out?

A: Pass

Q: What?

A: Never mind. It comes out of the stomach. Only doctors know how exactly to pull out the babies. That is why we have doctors.

Q: Young ones of animals are born from eggs. Was I born from an egg?

A: No beta. Your mother is not an animal no?

Q: Hmm ok. So I was also born in a stomach. Where are the babies before they come into the stomach?

A: God’s home (Devachya ghari in marathi.)

Q: Oh. But you told me sometime ago that panjoba (her great grandfather – my grandfather.) went to God’s home, when I asked you……how can it be if they come from God’s home – like the baby and they go to God’s home – like panjoba, why were they here anyway?

A: Yes, its like that only beta. We all come here from God’s home and go there again after living for 70-80 years.

Q: Do they wear clothes at God’s home…….?

And the questioning continues…..simple, straightforward, innocent and honest……they are so happy just asking questions…..and here we are – so confused, even if we know all the answers !!

'Socially' active

 

The definition of being ‘socially active’ has changed so much. It was all about going out from the comfort of your house and attending parties and social functions and chatting a lot. With the advent of social media being ‘socially active’ may simply mean being active on social media – watsapp, facebook, twitter and god knows what other sites. 

A person you might not even know your face may be on your ‘friends list’ in facebook. I know a guy in office, who doesn’t know me, who doesn’t recognize me, who does not even smile at me when we cross paths and yet had invited me on facebook to be my friend (I had accepted his invitation coz I know him by sight and thought that if we aren’t friends now, we will be- after the facebook entry !! Frankly, I would ve been delighted if it was a pretty looking girl who had invited me and then followed up with everything - but gosh,  this is a guy I am talking about L). 

For all I know, on fb, he even wishes me on my birthday, likes the photographs that I upload and even tags me in office party photographs. And yet even in parties – we never interact !! So I say this – Filling your fb page and increasing your friends count over your other friends’ count is like a competition. It has nothing to do with you being socially active. 

Another point is that the meaning of ‘remembering me on my bday’ has lost its special touch. It was a proud moment for any person, when his friend used to call him up and wish him on his birthday (of course, as per the western culture – but then we have been greatly influenced by it in our childhood as well as youth.). It was equally dangerous for a boy to not remember his girlfriends bday.  Such forgetfulness used to cost the boy heavily !! Depending on the girl’s 'mental' tendencies, she used to slap him, physically assault him, stop talking to him, worst breakup with him or all of it – if her birthday was forgotten and flowers were not bestowed. But now, there are fb reminders – you can simply open the app and wish the person. The fun is gone – the action that followed forgotten birthdays is gone (the slaps, or breakups or whatever !!).

Watsapp groups are another rage. I am part of many groups, where I have not actually met people, but keep chatting with them. However, I am of the opinion that forwarding messages each and every time that you get them is definitely not social ‘activism’. That sort of stuff is like playing passing the parcel. For me and I am sure for a lot of people, there are usually huge amounts of messages which are not read, videos which are not watched, photos which are not seen and a lot of other stuff which is simply missed - intentionally or otherwise.  

All said and done – I don’t deny the advantages that social media provides – catching up with everyone – sometimes your childhood pals, sometimes relatives you never get to see, even chatting with your siblings who are abroad and can maybe meet you in person only once a year – you can still chat with them everyday !! 

But it does not mean that being socially active is you are active on social media. Its like showing a water can to a plant without actually watering it !!  

But well – that’s my opinion and I still do not deny that sometimes people can write better than they can speak or present. 

Morocco Part 1

If you look at the world map, you simply fail to notice some countries. You haven’t heard their name. They are not amongst the popular tourist destinations or no one in your circle has ever been there. But as the world is becoming smaller and smaller, there is no telling which place you’d land up, how much time you would spend there and what it would mean to you in the coming years !!

Morocco is one such country which happened to me. As a child I had never heard of it – as a country. The only morocco I knew is a snack in southern india with a similar sounding name ‘Murukku’ !! 7 years back I heard it as a project site for one of our company’s projects. Still it was a far away thing. I just knew it as a site for one of our company’s projects. Only when I was assigned to it for a short term work deputation did I start knowing it. I had a very different idea about it till I went there. Being an Islamic nation, all I thought about in the plane was – in case my wife has to accompany me sometime – she would have to wear a burkha and have plenty of restrictions!! How wrong I was !! Yes, people there are traditional but warm and liberal as well.

  

It was to become my home for two years. A place where I made very good friends, had very good colleagues, saw some beautiful sights and sceneries and enjoyed their culture and food – which is quite similar to India’s – Colourful, energetic and family oriented.

I have now been an expat twice for considerably long durations and I can say that for all the glamour and money that people back home view it (Depending on the destination of course) – practically it is something else altogether. Being away from family, having to prepare your own food after work, doing the dishes, having to oversee office tasks as well as home chores is a different ball game. On top of that, ensuring that your health remains good – It is as easy as hitting a bulls eye from moving car !!     

Casablanca where my workplace and my home away from home was – is a commercial city. Just like Mumbai, it is cosmopolitan, A fair amount of foreigners live – French, Spanish, Chinese, Indians who all come for work mostly and lot of them own houses in this charming city – as I hear.

People in morocco are warm and friendly to say the least. They have a family culture and live like kings – as in they are fairly satisfied with what they have – no rush, no hurry. In my interactions with them, sometimes, I was close to pulling my hair – flustered at their easy attitude. Mumbaikars would classify them as being ‘lazy’ but lets face it – we are in too much of a rush for everything and if you want to really live your life – you should do it in your own terms – in your own sweet time. One culture point - I saw a lot of kids being whacked by their parents in morocco, reminiscent of the Indian training culture of our generations and the generations before us !!

A peek into their food – Moroccans raise their eyebrows when you say ‘Vegetarian’. They cannot understand how a person can live only on veggies all their life. They have meat in almost everything they eat. ‘Where do you get your proteins from?’, they would ask.

Well, we Indians can write books and books about food – all types of it, so I never wasted my breath explaining to them what vegetarians eat!! Coming back to their food, Tajine was my favourite – It consisted of slow cooked meat stewed in cooked vegetables with Moroccan spices. It is made in an attractive earthen vessel which allows all the flavours and aromas to be trapped in. When the lid is opened, the aroma is mesmerizing !! Couscous is made from wheat durum and is cooked with meat and vegetables. Rfissa is a dish of chicken and lentils, which are served over a bed of pastry (pasta). In restaurant they have special days for each. I remember Rfissa being available on Wednesday and Couscous on Friday. Tajine is available all days. Shawarmas are famous as a kind of fast food version. They make and eat a variety of breads. Mssemen was my personal favourite, more so because it was kind of close to the Indian maida roti. During Ramadan they have a variety of sweets from dry fruits and stuff.            

To be continued....

Arch enemy and the greatest teacher of mankind - Corona

I consider myself the luckiest of the present generations. Neither were we as poor as our parents during their childhood nor did we have or get everything as the kids these days have or get.

However, there is certainly one mistake which all the three generations present today have made - we have taken nature and our freedom for granted. Never really cared about it particularly or gave it a second thought. Despite knowing that mother nature can take her own course and become vengeful.

So, all of us are under it now. No one – atleast those who are not classified as ‘essential services worker’ are part of the ‘Stay home, stay safe’ strategy to tackle COVID-19. Even those who are essential services live in the fear when the infection will strike them.

It is said that you can learn a lot from your enemies. As we fight one of the biggest threats of the modern era, we are being taught a lot of important lessons by the virus and subsequently – the lockdown .

Lockdown has made us stay home –– Made these happen and taught us the following lessons:

Do not underestimate the small and lowly beings of this earth. Remember that red ants have been known to bring down large African elephants to their knees by biting them inside their trunks. Need I say more? Stay alert and never let your guard down.  

No going outside unless absolutely necessary, not to waste energy and not to waste precious fuel. Just how good can the AQI be in Mumbai when there are less vehicles on the road !!

Spend time with family. How many of us actually get this much time in one month to spend time with your family? How many of us workaholics know which board game our kids actually like? How many of us really talk to our parents – what they feel, what they would like to do, what are the hobbies that they still pursue?

Bring only those supplies which are necessary to sustain us. Don’t be greedy and buy all sorts of eatables from the junk shelves – in case they make you sick and a corona suspect !!

Stop eating outside food – since no restaurants are open and the home delivery restaurants also have large waiting time or their delivery personnel are working in shifts.

Use your mobile phones, home PCs, laptops with extra care – if something happens to it during lockdown, who will repair them? All repair shops are closed. And we all know that we will just die if we don’t have internet or our mobile phones!!

Discover the joy of doing nothing. From a very young age we are taught to be busy, but no one ever teaches us how to do nothing !! Do it now.

Do the dishes ourselves – No maids coming.  

Try your hand at cooking – you will appreciate the dedication, hardwork and the expertise of a housewife !!

Watch the movies which you always wanted to on Netflix.

Record a song on Smule – who knows, maybe you are just a tad bit more talented than a bathroom singer !!

Play those PC games, which you might probably not have played since your college days !!

Practise Yoga and pranayam at home. Maybe you neglected it till now because of work. You will discover the joy and start doing it regularly when this is over !!

So many things – unexplored, unknown, unchartered. A time of realisations, a dawn of self discoveries, a once in a lifetime opportunity to do so much for oneself.  Let mankind thrive and death to the enemy virus !!    

The evolution and de-evolution of my biking era.

I had a tricycle when I was around 3 years of age and learned how to bicycle (on an old bicycle, which used to belong to a cousin of mine) when I was around 7 or 8 years old. When I was around 10 or 11, about to go to high school, my parents bought me my first own bicycle. It was a Hero Ranger. Hero is the name of the company that made bicycles and 'Ranger' was the model name. 'Ranger' was a very popular model back then and at that time was one of those very first 'mountain terrain' bikes that were made in India. These cycles were supposed to be rough and tough. They had somewhat heavy frames. The wheel radius was small but the tire was larger. These were quite different from the 'normal' bicycles which had a thinner wheel, lighter frames and used to ride faster. My sister had one of these 'normal' bicycles. The advantage of the normal cycles was that they used to cover a larger distance with a single round of pedalling as compared to the rangers, which required more effort and pedalling. I remember dad telling me that, I should buy a 'normal' cycle because it is better. But, I didnt agree with him at that time. I seemed to think that 'Rangers' were much more 'trendy' and new and hip. The normal bicycles were very boring in looks and I'd be teased horrible by my friends and the others at school !!
I rode the ranger till I was 16 years of age, I think. After this, my sister, who is elder to me by 3.5 years wanted a scooter. Dad decided to buy it, because, for one, he himself had a bajaj chetak, when we were young and he loves to ride two wheelers !!
Obviously, when the two wheeler was bought, I too wanted to have my share of riding it !! I had got my license of 'motor cycle without gear' made and took the 'scooty' out whenever I got the chance. The scooty was gearless, didnt go much higher than 40 km/hr and had a feel good factor !! My sister got married when I was 20 years of age. After this, I took the sole 'control' of the scooty and became the owner of it !! Of course, with ownership, come responsibilities and I used to give the scooty for servicing and used to clean it quite regularly. I used the scooty till the end of my engineering college days. Dad promised me a motorcycle, if I got a first class grade for my graduation. I did get a first class grade, and so got the bike on 13th October 2005 (which happened to be Dasara, a festival day in India) !! It was a Hero Honda Super Splendor. A truly reliable, efficient and a smooth but rugged machine it was !! It was the beginning of a long relationship with motorbikes !! When I rode this motorbike, I was the king of the road !! The feeling of riding a motorbike is very near to what is called 'blissful'. On this bike, I went on long rides, to matheran, to karjat, to lonavla etc. When, I joined a company, I went for my interview on this bike and when I got the job, I continued travelling by bike, even though, my company has a bus !! It was for the love of biking !!
Then 5 years back I was in a minor accident, in which my beautiful bike was damaged a bit. I got it repaired, but in the end, thought that I should probably sell the bike, while I get a good deal. I sold off the bike and decided to buy a new one. I bought a Honda Unicorn which has a larger engine capacity and hence more power than the super splendor. I bought it on 7 May 2008, which was an auspicious day called 'Akshay tritiya' as per the maharashtrian calender. The Unicorn is fun too, of course !! I roamed around on this bike at night, when I was a bachelor !! And, I took my wife on bike rides on this as well, when I got married !!
I took this bike on long rides too !!
I came to Holland, on 6 September 2013. It is a well known fact that in Holland, almost everybody has a bicycle. Holland has special bicycle roads and routes everywhere, apart from the car roads. So, I decided to go 'Dutch' and buy a bicycle. I enquired at a nearby shop, where they sell second hand bicycles. In Holland, you get very good second bicycles, because, unless the first owner has done any extraordinarily crazy stunts on the bicycles, they remain intact. Also, bicycles are well made, secondly, roads for cycling are good, so less wear and tear of the tyres and thirdly, the air is dust free here, which also contributes (I think it matters when the air is dust free, but still I'm not sure how, or I dont know how to explain it.). So, anyway, the man showed me a second hand bicycle for 50 Euros. I decided to buy it. After a day, I had a flat, so I got the inner tube of the tyre replaced (which the very ethical man, at the shop replaced for free !!). So, now I ride a bicycle, do all my chores on it and travel to office on it.

So from a tricycle, to a bicycle, to a ranger, to a scooty, to a motorbike, to a better motorbike and back to a bicycle !!! Different phases of life but the same enjoyment of biking!!
I'm calling it the evolution and de-evolution of my biking era !!!    

  

Mavshi Aaji - Ekdum bindaas !!

I was not much attached with mavshi - aaji (Grand Aunt). Yet I found it hard to believe that she was no more, even though, ironically it wasnt quite shocking to me that she'd died !! This is because she had so many health problems for such a long time, we used to actually wonder how she stayed alive for so many years !!

Mavshi Aaji was my maternal grandmother's sister. Grandmother has three other siblings....Two brothers and one sister. My grandmother and mother were very close with mavshi aaji.
Mavshi aaji was a very eccentric lady. It was fun to listen to her talk at times. She used to have a lot of comments about a lot of things. She also had a lot of 'abusive terms' in her 'vocabulary' and didnt quite bother to keep them bottled up inside her in front of us kids !!! You can imagine the glee, a kid experiences, when an abusive word is used by an elder in front of him !! However her way of talking didnt quite amuse all people. Sometimes, harsh words can have a long lasting and damaging effect, which did happen in her case. She lost out favour with her own sons, daughter-in-laws and her grandchildren. On top of that, in her recent days, she'd stubbornly chosen to stay alone in her old apartment, even though she had major health problems.
My sister and I were her favourite. She'd always tell grandmom that she'd love to have us as her grandkids !! This was also because her own grandchildren didnt quite give her much attention nor did they seemed to care about her....whatever be the case.
When I got married, she told my wife, "You are indeed a very lucky girl !!"

She was an excellent cook and had taught my mom a lot of recipes. When mavshi aaji was young, she was very good looking and used to act in college dramas. She was adept to the art of embroidery and weaving !! One more thing that I remember about her is her home made pickles !! Boy !! How I used to love them and look forward to these, when she gave a jar full to mom, when we visited her during the summer holidays !!

Going back to her past, she married a man who was also very eccentric !! He used to write letters and post them addressed to the 'Prime minister of India'. I dont think he used to work at all, and I am not sure how they made ends meet. He died a long time back because, I never did see him in my lifetime.
Mavshi Aaji, took care of her children (who by that time must be old enough of course !!)

She had a lot of fluctuations in health. She had a paralysis attack some 10 years ago, had diabetes for a long time. Her sugar levels had once risen to 400 and she was hospitalized. She was back to normal within a week's time !! Obviously, her health genes were tough, because she'd lived an active life inspite of all these recurring health problems. She died at a ripe old age of 85, alone in her own house, she'd so stubbornly decided to stay in independently.

If there was a way blogs could be read in heaven...I'd like to convey one thing to her which I did not tell her while she was alive....Its just that...I loved to hear you talk, straight out and openly, right from the heart, not holding a word back....ekdum bindaas !!