Questions of birth, life and death.

 

Recently we were blessed with a baby girl. As we would have expected, my first one had a basket full of questions of a typical 5 year old. How is a baby born? Where does it come from? How does it come? How did I come? When did I come? How much time is 5 years? Where was I before I came here?.....and so on they continue. Extremely funny, damn tricky to answer and surprisingly amusing to hear.

You are taken aback by this precise line of questioning. You know the answer and yet don’t know how to answer the questions!! Which is to say – you have the exact knowledge and yet you almost always fail to explain it to the 5 year old. After all a 5 year old’s logic is plain, simple and completely….LOGICAL. As adults we are definitely not in a position to EXPLAIN it logically – since we don’t know how much to reveal and how much to hold back.

The questions just continue and 5 year olds are rarely satisfied with any of the ‘Birth, Life and death’ related answers. They persist with it till they are distracted or they have another question!!

It is like being interrogated by a law enforcement officer or being stress interviewed.

Following are the questions I have been asked by my 5 year old first one and the answers I have tried to give her – honestly – as far as possible. (If you aren’t truthful, they are likely to CROSS QUESTION you later.)

Q: Why is mother becoming fat?

A: A baby is growing inside her stomach.

Q: What?!! Who put it there?

A: God put it there.

Q: What?!! How can that happen? Why didn’t he just put it outside then?

A: Babies are always born like this beta. First they are very small in the stomach, then it becomes bigger as it eats some of its mother’s food. Then after a few months it becomes so big that it comes out.

Q: Where does it come out from? How does it come out?

A: Pass

Q: What?

A: Never mind. It comes out of the stomach. Only doctors know how exactly to pull out the babies. That is why we have doctors.

Q: Young ones of animals are born from eggs. Was I born from an egg?

A: No beta. Your mother is not an animal no?

Q: Hmm ok. So I was also born in a stomach. Where are the babies before they come into the stomach?

A: God’s home (Devachya ghari in marathi.)

Q: Oh. But you told me sometime ago that panjoba (her great grandfather – my grandfather.) went to God’s home, when I asked you……how can it be if they come from God’s home – like the baby and they go to God’s home – like panjoba, why were they here anyway?

A: Yes, its like that only beta. We all come here from God’s home and go there again after living for 70-80 years.

Q: Do they wear clothes at God’s home…….?

And the questioning continues…..simple, straightforward, innocent and honest……they are so happy just asking questions…..and here we are – so confused, even if we know all the answers !!

'Socially' active

 

The definition of being ‘socially active’ has changed so much. It was all about going out from the comfort of your house and attending parties and social functions and chatting a lot. With the advent of social media being ‘socially active’ may simply mean being active on social media – watsapp, facebook, twitter and god knows what other sites. 

A person you might not even know your face may be on your ‘friends list’ in facebook. I know a guy in office, who doesn’t know me, who doesn’t recognize me, who does not even smile at me when we cross paths and yet had invited me on facebook to be my friend (I had accepted his invitation coz I know him by sight and thought that if we aren’t friends now, we will be- after the facebook entry !! Frankly, I would ve been delighted if it was a pretty looking girl who had invited me and then followed up with everything - but gosh,  this is a guy I am talking about L). 

For all I know, on fb, he even wishes me on my birthday, likes the photographs that I upload and even tags me in office party photographs. And yet even in parties – we never interact !! So I say this – Filling your fb page and increasing your friends count over your other friends’ count is like a competition. It has nothing to do with you being socially active. 

Another point is that the meaning of ‘remembering me on my bday’ has lost its special touch. It was a proud moment for any person, when his friend used to call him up and wish him on his birthday (of course, as per the western culture – but then we have been greatly influenced by it in our childhood as well as youth.). It was equally dangerous for a boy to not remember his girlfriends bday.  Such forgetfulness used to cost the boy heavily !! Depending on the girl’s 'mental' tendencies, she used to slap him, physically assault him, stop talking to him, worst breakup with him or all of it – if her birthday was forgotten and flowers were not bestowed. But now, there are fb reminders – you can simply open the app and wish the person. The fun is gone – the action that followed forgotten birthdays is gone (the slaps, or breakups or whatever !!).

Watsapp groups are another rage. I am part of many groups, where I have not actually met people, but keep chatting with them. However, I am of the opinion that forwarding messages each and every time that you get them is definitely not social ‘activism’. That sort of stuff is like playing passing the parcel. For me and I am sure for a lot of people, there are usually huge amounts of messages which are not read, videos which are not watched, photos which are not seen and a lot of other stuff which is simply missed - intentionally or otherwise.  

All said and done – I don’t deny the advantages that social media provides – catching up with everyone – sometimes your childhood pals, sometimes relatives you never get to see, even chatting with your siblings who are abroad and can maybe meet you in person only once a year – you can still chat with them everyday !! 

But it does not mean that being socially active is you are active on social media. Its like showing a water can to a plant without actually watering it !!  

But well – that’s my opinion and I still do not deny that sometimes people can write better than they can speak or present. 

Morocco Part 1

If you look at the world map, you simply fail to notice some countries. You haven’t heard their name. They are not amongst the popular tourist destinations or no one in your circle has ever been there. But as the world is becoming smaller and smaller, there is no telling which place you’d land up, how much time you would spend there and what it would mean to you in the coming years !!

Morocco is one such country which happened to me. As a child I had never heard of it – as a country. The only morocco I knew is a snack in southern india with a similar sounding name ‘Murukku’ !! 7 years back I heard it as a project site for one of our company’s projects. Still it was a far away thing. I just knew it as a site for one of our company’s projects. Only when I was assigned to it for a short term work deputation did I start knowing it. I had a very different idea about it till I went there. Being an Islamic nation, all I thought about in the plane was – in case my wife has to accompany me sometime – she would have to wear a burkha and have plenty of restrictions!! How wrong I was !! Yes, people there are traditional but warm and liberal as well.

  

It was to become my home for two years. A place where I made very good friends, had very good colleagues, saw some beautiful sights and sceneries and enjoyed their culture and food – which is quite similar to India’s – Colourful, energetic and family oriented.

I have now been an expat twice for considerably long durations and I can say that for all the glamour and money that people back home view it (Depending on the destination of course) – practically it is something else altogether. Being away from family, having to prepare your own food after work, doing the dishes, having to oversee office tasks as well as home chores is a different ball game. On top of that, ensuring that your health remains good – It is as easy as hitting a bulls eye from moving car !!     

Casablanca where my workplace and my home away from home was – is a commercial city. Just like Mumbai, it is cosmopolitan, A fair amount of foreigners live – French, Spanish, Chinese, Indians who all come for work mostly and lot of them own houses in this charming city – as I hear.

People in morocco are warm and friendly to say the least. They have a family culture and live like kings – as in they are fairly satisfied with what they have – no rush, no hurry. In my interactions with them, sometimes, I was close to pulling my hair – flustered at their easy attitude. Mumbaikars would classify them as being ‘lazy’ but lets face it – we are in too much of a rush for everything and if you want to really live your life – you should do it in your own terms – in your own sweet time. One culture point - I saw a lot of kids being whacked by their parents in morocco, reminiscent of the Indian training culture of our generations and the generations before us !!

A peek into their food – Moroccans raise their eyebrows when you say ‘Vegetarian’. They cannot understand how a person can live only on veggies all their life. They have meat in almost everything they eat. ‘Where do you get your proteins from?’, they would ask.

Well, we Indians can write books and books about food – all types of it, so I never wasted my breath explaining to them what vegetarians eat!! Coming back to their food, Tajine was my favourite – It consisted of slow cooked meat stewed in cooked vegetables with Moroccan spices. It is made in an attractive earthen vessel which allows all the flavours and aromas to be trapped in. When the lid is opened, the aroma is mesmerizing !! Couscous is made from wheat durum and is cooked with meat and vegetables. Rfissa is a dish of chicken and lentils, which are served over a bed of pastry (pasta). In restaurant they have special days for each. I remember Rfissa being available on Wednesday and Couscous on Friday. Tajine is available all days. Shawarmas are famous as a kind of fast food version. They make and eat a variety of breads. Mssemen was my personal favourite, more so because it was kind of close to the Indian maida roti. During Ramadan they have a variety of sweets from dry fruits and stuff.            

To be continued....

Arch enemy and the greatest teacher of mankind - Corona

I consider myself the luckiest of the present generations. Neither were we as poor as our parents during their childhood nor did we have or get everything as the kids these days have or get.

However, there is certainly one mistake which all the three generations present today have made - we have taken nature and our freedom for granted. Never really cared about it particularly or gave it a second thought. Despite knowing that mother nature can take her own course and become vengeful.

So, all of us are under it now. No one – atleast those who are not classified as ‘essential services worker’ are part of the ‘Stay home, stay safe’ strategy to tackle COVID-19. Even those who are essential services live in the fear when the infection will strike them.

It is said that you can learn a lot from your enemies. As we fight one of the biggest threats of the modern era, we are being taught a lot of important lessons by the virus and subsequently – the lockdown .

Lockdown has made us stay home –– Made these happen and taught us the following lessons:

Do not underestimate the small and lowly beings of this earth. Remember that red ants have been known to bring down large African elephants to their knees by biting them inside their trunks. Need I say more? Stay alert and never let your guard down.  

No going outside unless absolutely necessary, not to waste energy and not to waste precious fuel. Just how good can the AQI be in Mumbai when there are less vehicles on the road !!

Spend time with family. How many of us actually get this much time in one month to spend time with your family? How many of us workaholics know which board game our kids actually like? How many of us really talk to our parents – what they feel, what they would like to do, what are the hobbies that they still pursue?

Bring only those supplies which are necessary to sustain us. Don’t be greedy and buy all sorts of eatables from the junk shelves – in case they make you sick and a corona suspect !!

Stop eating outside food – since no restaurants are open and the home delivery restaurants also have large waiting time or their delivery personnel are working in shifts.

Use your mobile phones, home PCs, laptops with extra care – if something happens to it during lockdown, who will repair them? All repair shops are closed. And we all know that we will just die if we don’t have internet or our mobile phones!!

Discover the joy of doing nothing. From a very young age we are taught to be busy, but no one ever teaches us how to do nothing !! Do it now.

Do the dishes ourselves – No maids coming.  

Try your hand at cooking – you will appreciate the dedication, hardwork and the expertise of a housewife !!

Watch the movies which you always wanted to on Netflix.

Record a song on Smule – who knows, maybe you are just a tad bit more talented than a bathroom singer !!

Play those PC games, which you might probably not have played since your college days !!

Practise Yoga and pranayam at home. Maybe you neglected it till now because of work. You will discover the joy and start doing it regularly when this is over !!

So many things – unexplored, unknown, unchartered. A time of realisations, a dawn of self discoveries, a once in a lifetime opportunity to do so much for oneself.  Let mankind thrive and death to the enemy virus !!