Mumbai's taxiwallas

Got to hand it over to the taxiwallas (yellow and black cab drivers) of Mumbai. The emperors of the roads, the kings of ‘guerilla’ driving tactics. The mavericks, the rovers, riders on the storm, highwaymen. Supremely confident of their driving skills and a ruthless attitude towards both, the other vehicles on the road and their own taxi’s body paint and finishing works. Ever the pinpoint precision masters, they can slide through gaps, which you wouldn’t even consider taking if you were on a two wheeler. Style masters too….. one hand on the gear, the other casually applying corrections to the steering, elbow resting on the window. ‘Neither the left lane, nor the right, keep it down the mid and leave the others in doubt’ . That’s their motto and each and every taxi driver follows this rule. While they are the part of mumbai’s very efficient public transport service, people would prefer the bus or the train over the taxi any day. The only reason and the a very obvious one…..travelling by a taxi is expensive….if ur company pays for it, fine. Otherwise, you’ll be robbed clean of a considerable sum of money, which is calculated, by comparing the taxi’s meter reading to the respective values on the tariff cards or sometimes by the sheer word of the taxi driver!!! Its your choice!!!

Me vs my home computer

My dad brought me my first PC when i was in the ninth grade, just short of the age of 15. From then on the home computer has been my best friend and my worst enemy. Or should i say home computers. Yes, coz just as life changes so do computers and so have mine. My relations with my home PC have always been thru the ups and downs. More thru the downs than the ups. I have enjoyed games on my PC just like I enjoyed surfing the net. Its always enjoyable to play the games on the comp which you cant play in real life!!! For example, you cannot drive vehicles and knock over peds who frustrate you with their impolite ways of crossing the roads, but on the PC, you can hit them, crush them with your car, even chainsaw them to a bloody death!!!
So talking about PCs, yeah, they give you the enjoyment, but when it comes to reliability, I would rate assembled PCs below any of the other electronic appliances!!! You people reading the post can only imagine the number of times….. I have changed some hardware, formatted my PC’s hard disk, installed the OS, partitioned the disk, defragmented it, scanned it for viruses and last but not the least kicked it in utter ‘disgust’ (That would affect hardware, but I did it only with my 2nd comp’s CPU!!!). Computers never cease to perplex me with their astonishing abilities of crashing, that too at the most inconvenient junctures of time. Last week when I was mourning for the sad demise of my 4th CPU motherboard, one of my friends went superstitious and suggested that it would, perhaps, be better if I installed my PC at another location of the house. “Tere comp ke jagah kaa vaastu barabar nahi hai.” Maybe he’s right!!

My first gym trainer

Dont know why i'm writing about this character........neither is he a very close friend nor an enemy, nor a very idealistic man, nor a great hero, nor is he been a great personality, nor someone famous, nor all of the above. He's just one of those 'barely noticeable or remembered' parts of life. Yet it would be fun to describe him and so the post.

I was once exercising at the gym....doing some warmup......when this fellow enters the gym and says a jaunty 'hi' to the gym owner. This jaunty fellow is quite 'big'. But hes big in a 'physically fit' sort of way.....great physique. So he takes a look around the gym walks up to me and says........Darling.....Please wear track pants next time you workout. I stopped mid exercise and looked at him wondering where the 'darling' came from.....is he gay or what? I told him that i was wearing track pants. So then he takes a look at me and says....oh yeah, i got confused by the color, it looks like a light coloured trouser from some distance. (I am still unable to figure how he thought that my grey coloured 'perfectly looking, track pants' were a pair of trousers....maybe he was joking.) I came to know that he was to be our new gym instructor, he was the gym owner's friend and had worked out for around 10-12 years.......and yeah, he did have a habit of saying 'darling' when he addressed any of the boys in the gym. So from that day on he started giving out routines to everyone. He believed in doing exercises perfectly, in proper form. He used to say, "Take lower weights if necessary, but do the exercise correctly and then graduate to higher weights". At one time there used to be at least 25 people in the gym. This trainer used to give out 25 different routines to all these 25 people and could still spot anyone doing exercise in improper fashion and correct him. He did have a habit of cracking bad jokes, of course. The bad jokes were so bad, that it would send your mind reeling and if by chance at the same time he cracked a joke, you had a weight in your hands you would literally 'lose power' and drop the weights!!!! All in all he had a very enthusiastic presence in the gym and would keep encouraging the lot of us. I left that gym after a year or so for my university exams. After that i went to another gym. I changed around 4-5 gymnasiums. Just around a year back i joined another one, only to meet my first trainer there. But in this gym hes not a trainer. He works out. His jokes have gone from bad to worse. He keeps telling me about his diet and is quite pompous about his '18 years body building experience.' He is now middle aged and hes not quite the same great shape as he was when i first trained under him. However he is still under the illusion that he actually has visible 'ab muscles' which he certainly does not, coz hes got a great big, round fat tummy. Inspite of all the above, He maintains a very good form and works out for around 1.5 hours everday for 4-5 days a week, 6 days also quite often. He's very fit, dont remember that hes taken a break from the gym anytime. Still tells me at times, "Maintain good form, never sacrifice good form for higher weights" This philosophy is, at least, being followed.

Stay in touch? Sometimes I'd rather not!!!

It is sometimes hard to keep in touch with friends. There are ones who will write mails to you on the busiest of days. Replying will get delayed until you totally forget about it. Others wont write mails anyways........they'll call you up when you are attempting to 'balance a tightrope' or something and have no other option but to cancel the call or answer it only to tell them that you'll call em later. One of my friends once commented that i never bother staying in touch. A week later i called him up and he said he was busy and he would call up later. He did call up later but then i was busy and then the cycle continued until both of us quit. I do send some forwarded mails to people at times. But then some people have a problem with that too......They say.........what the heck? why do you keep sending forwarded mails?
I cant reason with this kind of logic...........What is wrong in sending forwarded mails? Its alright if you say "I didnt like the mail" or something......but saying something like......"This fellow sends only forwarded mails".............Is that a crime? Seems to be with majority of the people....they dont like fwd mails or fwd sms. I always sms (not fwd sms) one of my friends who stays abroad. Diwali wishes, holi wishes, birthday wishes etc. However these too are expected to be on time. If the sms goes in the afternoon of the special day....i get a reply sms saying that.....Thanks....but did you forget to wish me in the morning?
My sister herself told me that she hates my mails because they are fwd.......these days i am sending her more just to irritate her.
One of my other friends always calls up at night.......night here means......'midnight' or 'ghastly hour of the night'. One of my conversations with him when he called up.........

J: Heeeellllllllooooo!!! How are you?
Me (Thinking): Huh? How would I be at 0100 in the morning, stupid?
Me: I am fine.
J: Were you sleeping?
Me (Thinking): No, I was dancing on the tune of Lucky Ali's' shyam savere teri yaadien aati hai'
Me: Yes, I was sleeping.
J: Oh, I am sorry. I'll call up later.
Me (Thinking): Later????? How later than this would you want to call up?????
Me: No, lets talk now....anyway....i ain't feeling sleepy now.

So we talk and talk until he says,
J: Ok, chal ill hang up.....You call me up too sometimes, yaar.....main hi phone karta hu tereko!!
Me (Thinking): Haan woh bhi subah ke ek baje!!!!
Me: Ok, chal bye!!! Will call you up!!!

What i'd like to add here is that, its fine to keep in touch with friends, in fact, one should make efforts to stay in touch. But then, i wouldnt expect them to return the favor!!! Some friends are friends no matter how 'Out of touch' they may seem to be. I know that this post presents a somewhat indifferent attitude on my behalf.........but then thats how I am and I dont think that part of me will change !!!

A power called 'Ganapati'

The festival of Ganeshotsav brings to my home an idol of a great god , maharashtra's favourite and most worshipped gods.....Ganapati.
Whether a standing, sitting or a lying idol of ganapati never fails to impress me....there is something in that somewhat 'hefty' figure that makes you feel........'.euphoric' at the very sight of the idol (there is no other word for it!!)
From the stories we've heard about Lord ganesh as kids......we all know that he could be as big, as powerful, as intelligent, as pious, as noble, as 'cheeky', as we can imagine any Lord to be!!!
Last, but not the least i cannot imagine how he could have so many 'modaks' in one sitting, neither can i imagine the greatness of a certain Lord 'mouse' who carried him on his back!!!
Believe me, once you immerse the Ganesh idol in the sea and when you come back to the place where the idol was kept, its hard to get over that very 'empty' feeling caused by the idol's absence!! The ganeshotsav at my place is over since its only for 1 1/2 days but then ill try to see all the big ganapati idols in town!!!

Lets get drunk? No way!!!

There is one more thing which pisses me off. I dont quite oppose the idea of having 'daaru' , but then for some people its a 'let off'. They drink when they are emotionally upset. They'll go on harping about, how a large quantity liquor will give them a 'kick' and make them feel normal again and drive away all their worries. In my opinion this opinion of theirs is nothing more than 'bullshit'. Some feel like drinking when they are elated....theyll go on like.....i am feeling elated......its a reason to celebrate......lets have daaru!!! Then there are these types who'll get absolutely 'drunk' which leaves them weaving to and fro. In the end there are always friends who'll leave them home or who'll take care of their sorry state!!!
I dont say that i'm a saint.....i have tried all varieties of 'hard drinks'....but then for none of the reasons stated above and neither have i got drunk anytime and had my friends leave me home!!!
There will always be people who wont quite agree with me or with any of my above opinions.......so what? I dont give a damn!!!