Gym

A room full of exercise equipment, a rack having some dumbells, maybe a music system, a small changing room and a trainer guy who looks like a ‘bouncer’ are probably the basic things which make up the gym. I have been going to a gym for almost a year now (Not counting the breaks…of course!!). I have achieved a considerable degree of progress………….in the sense that I love to just shout out loudly when I am lifting something heavy, I love to hear the music at a volume that probably would burst others ear drums and I now walk like a guy who has a plank of wood stuck between his sides and his arms. Apart from this, I have managed to build my body just a teensy weensy bit.
Apart from the workouts I have, over the years, observed, a lot of people who come to the gym….their exercise habits….good, bad and annoying etc, their daily workouts…… their body types (fat and short, short and skinny, skinny and tall, tall and fat etc). First of all……the trainers…….some trainers are known to be aggressive marketeers. A gym I went to, once had a trainer who pep talked all the newcomers on the first day. “I will train you in such a way that you’ll have a great body in a month!!!” People generally left the gym one month later when they did not meet the trainer’s expectation!!!! . Some trainers will be more like ‘caretakers’. They will sit on a chair in the gym shouting orders to anyone who do not keep the weights in their racks. They will collect the fees and write receipts and change the FM radio channel or the music CD. If anyone comes for advice they will direct you to a muscly fellow and simply say ‘ask him’. Apart from these there are good trainers who will give you good workouts, push you, but still not over the edge.
As I have mentioned before the type of people coming to the gym are also worth observing. There will be skinny newcomers who will stand in front of the mirror and will lift the sleeves of his t-shirt when no one is looking and will observe their muscles. Some others who are less shy will do it openly even if they have nothing to flaunt!!! There will be those annoying types who will stand between you and the mirror when you are performing an exercise so that your view is completety blocked. Fat ones, who will sweat like pigs after walking treadmills, turning pink in the face, well built ones who will strut in style throwing their chests out, flaunting muscles and heave and shout when they lift heavy weights screwing their faces as if constipated. And some others who will be very normal……very few of them.
The above views are, of course a few of my observations (sarcastically stated) . I will not list out the advantages of going to the gym as they will not even fit inside a full book. All in all I would personally advice you to go to a health club…. Don’t overdo weight training; don’t build your body like there’s no end to it and you start looking like a gorilla. Build a lean and muscular physique, increase your fitness levels and stay healthy. ‘Health is Wealth’. Be brawny and stay brainy!!!!

Of dogs and cats.....

Two of my friends and me were sitting in the garden this evening and saw a stray dog chasing a stray cat …it seemed that the dog would catch the cat until the cat climbed on a compound wall and leapt onto the branch of a tree. Since the dog could no longer chase her it gave up…

Rohan: Did u see that?

Irfan: Ya….shes so nice….

Rohan: Who?

Irfan: That girl who is sitting over there.

Rohan: You idiot….wasnt talking about the girl….I asked whether you saw the dog chasing that cat?

Irfan: No. Whats so interesting about a dog chasing a cat? I see it everyday…..Come to think of it…..i even see that dog chasing some of those people who come late nights from office…… These stray dogs and cats are a nuisance.

Rohan: I wish I had a dog at home as a pet.

Me: Well your parents do have u as a pet, isnt it, you dog!!? Hahahaha!!!!

Rohan (giving me a friendly punch): No, seriously man, dogs are so adorable....I hate cats….they are horrible.

Me: Yes, that’s true, dogs are very faithful to their masters….would give up their life for them. Cats are the opposite. Give them a bowl of milk and they’ll come and get it and go away. If you don’t put that bowl of milk the next day….they wont come!!!

Irfan: But cats are cute man….when I see those small kittens….I feel like keeping them as pets. Keeping pets is a tough thing guys…..the cost of keeping a pet at home is more than the expense of keeping a person home. Besides they have to be trained not to carry out their morning activities inside the house!!

Rohan (in a serious tone): No man, that’s not true……I mean, look at ravi, the expense of keeping him home is a lot for his parents……….he eats so much!!!

Me (this time I give him a friendly punch): Idiot!!!

Rohan: My friend Tina has a dog at home…..

Me: Oh!! So that bitch has a dog at home….hahaha!!!!

Irfan: I was bitten by a dog…when I was young….a stray dog of this locality.

Rohan: So its all thanks to you that todays generation of dogs in this locality are totally mad!!!

Rohan: I want a pet dog……someone I can love…..

Me: You better stay away from me……if you want to love dogs…..there is something wrong with you man!!!

Zindagi Talaash kar..

Rehne de aasman,
Zameen ki talaash kar,
Sab kuch yahin hai,
naa kahin aur talaash kar,
Har arzoo poori ho jaye, to jine kaa kya mazaa,
Jine ke liye bas ek kami ki talaash kar.

-By
Not me.

Time: The healer or the killer ?

When you want something and its due to come after a few days…..,ever had the feeling that those few days seem to take forever to pass by?. The time seems to stretch towards an eternity. Neither can you make the time pass quickly and neither can you supress the desire. It’s a kind of ‘suspense’ which numbs you, becomes intense, and sort of eats you up. You think about it day in and day out and perform your routine activities mechanically, without really putting your mind to it, as your mind is wandering elsewhere on that ‘something’. You feel frustrated as well as excited in a manner in which it would excite you when a friend tells you that he has a pleasant surprise in store for you!!!
Have you ever felt anything like this?
I have, in fact I am feeling it right now!!!! They say time is the healer. At such times, time is the killer!!

Never be afraid to say what you feel.........

Got the above picture through email today. The subject line was ‘Motivational Poster of the day’. Found the picture to be very inspiring indeed. It shows two dogs, a large one and a smaller one. The larger one seems to be a dominating, ….big and ‘lordly’ sort of character. The smaller one is tiny as compared to it.
I can imagine….. the bigger intimidating dog bullying the smaller one and saying something like “Hey you, punk, give me the juicy bone you found or ill break yours.” The smaller dog looks straight up at the huge dalmation and says….” Fuck you bully, I found the bone and ill chew it…..wont give it to you…..”

Well the thing to be learnt here is the attitude of the smaller dog…..it sometimes pays to say what you feel without being afraid. It cannot be said that its always correct to open out……….but again there are people who don’t speak out at all simply because they are afraid that they are wrong and might be reprimanded by others or they want to remain safe or they don’t want to upset others feelings.

People who are never afraid to say what they feel will have the mental satisfaction to have taken up their turn to share their thoughts. At the same time it cannot be said whether that persons opinion counted and whether it had any impact on the others and if it did, was it a good impact or a bad impact? .And then of course in case of the scenario depicted in the picture….the smaller doggie is only inviting his death. (But then we all die only once…isnt it?) There are advantages of keeping quiet too and not saying what you feel, too. You don’t give a clue to the other person as to what you are thinking and by doing so you have the mental satisfaction of holding back your aces so as to play them in future, provided you do have aces and you do intend to play them in future!!!
I feel that the picture above is great and very inspirational…..however I would like to add some lines and modify some of them……the total proverbial expression would be something like this……

Don’t be afraid to say what you feel. However say it when the time is right. You be a judge of what the right time is. Whenever necessary hold back what you feel and say it later.

TV serials suck.

It was a Wednesday evening. My neighbor, an old lady was having some trouble tuning the desired channels on her TV and had asked me to help her out. She has an old Onida TV, which does not have a remote control and is literally falling apart. So after coming back from office I decided to take a look at her TV and help her with the same. Just as I was about to ring her doorbell I heard some noises……….some lady screaming at the top of her voice. I thought for a moment that it was my neighbor herself. My senses went on red alert. Grabbing the nearest heavy object I could find (there was a wooden plank on the parapet.) I rang the doorbell urgently. My old neighbor opened the door calmly. She seemed to be alright!

Aunty : Why are you holding that wooden plank son? Were you going to hit me or what?
Me: I thought you were screaming aunty………that’s why I thought some intruder must have entered your house…………
Aunty: No No. The TV volume is too loud……..you must have heard Phoolsi screaming.
Me: Who is Phoolsi?
Aunty: She is a character from the serial ‘Kintu gunga kuta bhi kabhi bhonkega’.

These serials………they are a harrasment to people like me. According to me TV serials should be banned. They are full of scheming, plotting and anti-social men and women who have no better jobs than to think and do evil. Murders are very common in TV serials. Sons of the same mother seem to appear out of nowhere!!! (legal or illegal sons ) Plastic surgeries are also a regular feature.
A plastic surgery is generally not a part of the original story. Whenever an actor wants to call it the quits from the TV serial (because he himself is frustrated by the fact that the story is going nowhere and hes dead bored and wants a change.) the shows producers and story writers create an ‘accident sequence’ in the TV serial wherein the actor undergoes serious injuries and his face is disfigured………. then comes up the new face, the new actor…….after the plastic surgery!!!!
Camera angles and background music are such that they create a dramatic effect for the ladies who watch these serials.
A serial always portrays good characters and bad characters……….the good characters are the ones who suffer a lot. After being afflicted with a lot of attrocities……they finally either die or come to their senses and become badder than the bad characters and start their revengeful tactics. In addition to this a TV serial also portrays some characters whom I would categorize as ‘simply hopeless’. These are the ones who are too good…..saints more like. They would take anything lying down, without opposition.
All in all TV serials / soaps suck. They are dead hopeless and very irritating. The background music makes me want to blow either my TV down or my brains out.
Unfortunately most of the ladies (moms age) watch these and love them too……who the hell created the concept of a TV serial anyway?

Goodbye pal..........

This bears reference to the post written on 29th march 2008. It describes my dilemma at choosing a good 150 cc bike. After much speculation on the matter, I finally came to a decision. Booked a Honda Unicorn last week. Will take delivery of bike on 7th May which is considered to be an auspicious day according to the marathi calendar (It’s a day called as Akshay tritiya……its not the birthday of Akshay Kumar or Akshay Khanna or anything…!!) So all in all I am a very happy man. Eagerly awaiting my new bike.
But then there is another side of the story. Ill have to sell off my old bike which means I will have to say a goodbye to it. Will be a sad moment to see it sold off and taken by someone else. After all it has been a ‘humsafar’ and ‘saathi’ for almost 2 and a half years now. There is some nostalgia associated with my bike. I went on my bike for my company interview 2 years ago. Got the job and since then have been travelling almost everyday on my bike to office. Its given me a great ride everyday. For the summer months it’s a great pleasure to ride a bike because you can feel the wind when you ride it. During the winters it gets freezing cold on the bike and in rainy season I feel a childlike joy in riding through the puddles and pools of water. In fact I love to ride a bike in rainy season!!! It’s a great to be soaking wet. People find it dangerous to ride bikes in the monsoons. I find it adventurous!!! I also went for two of somewhat long bike rides on this bike. One to my grandfathers Karjat farmhouse with one of my friends and another time went to Karnala with two of my friends!!! I also survived an accident on this bike for which I have to thank it for keeping me in one piece, and its dear leg guard for well and truly guarding my legs from any injury!!! It saved me while getting badly damaged itself. From my side I serviced it from time to time and gave it my personal attention by cleaning it every weekend!!!
So I dedicate this post and the given below poem to one of my best pals……….my dear old hero honda super splendor……….and I bid adieu to it…….Thanks for being a great pal!!!!

Alvida mere dost,
Alvida mere saathi,
Tum chale jaooge, Par yaad tumhari aayegi,
Is dil mein tum, hamesha amar rahogi !!!

Tips from my boss...

After attending a gruelling kick off meeting for a new project today, I was leaving office today when my boss (lead engineer on the project, he must be around 40 years of age) called me and we had the following conversation,

Boss: Ravi, Can you give me a lift till nerul on your bike today?

Me: Yes sir, sure can.

Boss: Hope you don’t mind. You aren’t giving a lift to someone else today, are you? A girl or anyone? Your girlfriend, perhaps?

Me (Aloud): I don’t have one, sir, till now
Me (Thinking) : If I have one in future and want to give her a lift after office ill tell you to buzz off, thats obvious isnt it?

Boss: You don’t have one? How come?

Me (Thinking): Kyun mai kyaa Salman Khan hu kyaa? (Am I Salman Khan or what?)
Me (Aloud): Sir, koi pasand nahi aayi abhi tak……..

Boss: How many of our office colleagues are bachelors?

Me: Myself, Rohan, Tushar, Omkar, Sachin, Sachin (There are two sachins) and Gaurav.

Boss: None of them have a gf?

Me: As far as I know, at least I don’t. Don’t know about others.

Boss: Kyaa re? Kaam ke jaise idhar bhi tumko madat ki jaroorat hai kyaa? (Do you need help here too, i.e for searching some girl for you?)

Me: Sir, lagta hai idhar bhi kisi ki madat leni padegi……waise bhi maine zindagi bhar madat lee hai. School bhi mom and dad ne dhund nikali mere liye, engineering college admissions lene ke liye bhi paiso ki madat lagi, abhi finally ladki bhi mom and dad hi dhund ke denge……madat to leni hi padegi!!! (Sir, I think ill have to take some help in this case too. Anyways I have always taken help from people for my whole life. Dad and mom found the right school for me, even during engineering admissions, mom and dad payed my fees, and so finally, here too, I think mom and dad will search for the right girl for me!!!)

Boss (Laughing): Milegi milegi…….I will give you some tips.

Me (Thinking): Tu kyaa studd hai kyaa? Kyaa din aa gaye hai? Ab een cheezo me bhi isse tips leni padegi? (Are you a studd? What the hell? Now this fellow will even give me tips even on such topics or what?)

Boss: Here’s the first tip……….



I could see the sun setting from the window of my office………………..

Gudi Padwyacha hardik subhecha!!!! Happy Gudi Padwa!!!!!

Wishing everyone a very happy Gudi Padwa or as in marathi ‘Gudi Padwyacha Hardik Subhecha’ (I think its too late to wish now, but still….its ok). The significance of the Gudi Padwa festival day is that it marks the start of the maharashtrian new year. According to mythological sources it is said that this is the day when Lord Brahma created the world after the ‘big deluge’. Some sources say that when Ram returned to Ayodhya after his 14 years in exile people commemorated it by hoisting Gudis. The ‘gudi’ means the flag of Brahma (Brahmadhvaj).
Gudi padwa at my place went off pretty well because, first of all, it’s a holiday. We made garlands for the house and decorated and hoisted the Gudi. Secondly mom prepared the ‘Basundi’ which is one of my favorite sweet dishes. The ‘basundi’ is a delicious and lip smacking recipe which when eaten fills up your stomach quite quickly but still, the quantity does not satisfy your heart. The third most satisfying thing was the afternoon nap. There is no greater pleasure than eating basundi and snoozing in the afternoon!!! I can say that, the beginning of the new year with a marvelous day for me!!!!

Peculiar, bad or simply disgusting habits.

Have u come across people who have peculiar, bad or simply disgusting habits? It is said that old habits die hard. Some observations………..

The nose diggers and the ear wiggling experts:
If these people are near you, please be careful when you are shaking hands with them, chances are that you may find a pieces of ear wax, or human bogies on your hands after you shake em. If you do, by chance, get to observe a nose digger or a ear wiggler, just watch his expression when he does this ‘job’…..Theyll appear to be transported into seventh heaven……….. eyes closed, enjoying the blissful feeling of taking their fingers right upto the end and finding the desired piece of …….hahaha!!! Disgusting? Or odd?

The pan chewers:
This is something which is very common in india. Pan chewers will be seen everywhere, even in corporate offices and high level parties. Talking with their mouths full of paan and spitting like theres no end to it. Spitting from windows of buses, spitting from windows of apartments, spitting in the basins and on walls and leaving the red stains. Paan chewing is ok…but I find that spitting is a highly disgusting habit.

Auto-rickshaw drivers:
They always sit on one side of the seat. This is either to give you a view of the road ahead through the windscreen or they simply feel the heat radiating from below their seats. The third possibility is that they are always ready for an emergency bail out!!! Whenever there is danger simply bail out!! Let the passengers take care of themselves!!!

Smoking:
Smoking is injurious to health………..is what is written on cigarette packets. (I find this to be extremely ‘ironical’. But then of course it is the same as a statement which appears on a mutual fund investment form ‘Mutual Fund investments are subject to market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing’. It is like saying “You can buy it but I wont give you any guarantee, it could be risky”). Smoking is definitely an evil habit. But then smokers don’t care.

Consumption of alcohol:
Alcohol consumers will always celebrate their joys and sorrows with the consumption of their favourite alcohol. A bottle of rum, a pint of beer, a shot of tequila, bottoms-up, quart, khamba are some of the favourite terms of the standard alcohol consumer. There are some people who simply don’t care what kind of drink it is. They just like that high feeling which follows consumption of some minimum quantity of alcohol. This ‘minimum quantity’ is different for different individuals. Some get a kick earlier than 2 large glasses, some don’t even get it beyond a quart. It’s a matter of shame for some drinkers if they consume less alcohol or get a kick earlier than others do. It’s a big thing if you can drive straight after consuming a quart or more of alcohol for some.
Consuming too much alcohol affects the liver. Yeah, that’s right, he stops living!!!

And the list of strange, peculiar, disgusting or bad habits continues……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………to infinity…………………………………………………………..and beyond.

What to do?

One of the first steps you take, when you are buying anything new is, the market research. Finding out whats hot and whats not, the cost of the product, the topsides and the flipsides. When there are a lot of options to choose from it’s a tough process to make a decision. On the other hand, if there is just one option then the decision making process is restricted to…… whether you want to buy the product or not!!
I went through a minor bike accident on 16th November 2007. There was quite a lot of damage to my bike (I own a 125 cc Hero Honda super splendor.)….the front ferring and the visor cracked, the rear end fibre body parts and the rim were broken, one of the indicator lamps was destroyed and the handle too had suffered some damage. Lot of people advised me to sell off my present bike and buy a new one. Reasons being…..either superstitious or downright factual…(it is said that the inner frame of the bike is deformed on large impact which happens during an accident…..the bike is never restored to its original state.)
So I started my bike hunting just a few months back……. I decided to look out for 150 cc bikes (or higher than 150cc) …..because now that I have driven a 125 cc bike……there is a natural tendency on my part to look for a vehicle that is more powerful, more performance oriented and more superior….stability wise too. I started collecting information…..Went to the Honda showroom first……Enquired about Honda Unicorn......
Honda unicorn is known for its great ride quality and engine refinement which is characteristic of honda bikes. It has a very smooth power delivery at all gears. The top speed is less than the Pulsar 150 and I have heard that the bike struggles at high speeds. Looks wise it is good, but I feel none of the 150 cc bikes can beat the Pulsar in looks and styling. It is priced at Rs .64050, Honda gives bike delivery 15-18 days after bike is booked.
Next I went to the bajaj showroom and enquired about Pulsar 200, went for a test ride too….Pulsar 200 is a perky bike….….has the typical bajaj pulsar ‘crude’ sound which some people love, some people hate, and some others (who are ignorant about bikes) who ask ‘what just roared by?’. Pulsar 200 is priced at Rs. 72500. Bajaj Pulsar is probably the first indian bike which has a digital speedometer. As mentioned above the looks and styling have no competition. Delivery period is same as Honda’s. One of my friends is having a lot of problems with his pulsar 150….digital speedo does not work…..clutch plates have been changed….he has a 1.5 year old pulsar….of course it might just be bad luck, many others have no problems. Somehow I always think that the Pulsar’s tyres have a large wheelbase as compared to that of other 150 cc motorbikes. (Is that so? Some of the Hero Honda sales people told me that it is not so…)
I test rode two of Hero Honda’s bikes……The Hero Honda Hunk seems to be quite like the Pulsar in terms of ride quality, I heard that it has a top speed of 107 kmph. Didn’t test it though!! Hunk is priced at Rs 63500. Delivery time is 0 days. Bike is delivered on booking. Karizma is truly a beauty…225 cc, is built like a sports bike and rides like one too….. great pickup and great top speed. However the front ferring looks too large or so I feel.
Lastly I went in for a test ride of TVS Apache RTR 160….what I found good about it was its comfy seating…..doesnt hurt the crotch of a small 5’ 4” fellow. Looks a bit small too. Kerb weight is on the lower side too….136 Kg. All the other 150 cc bikes are heavier with weights of upto 145 Kgs. But then it helps the power to weight ratio which is very important for stability and road handling at higher speeds. Has a digital speedo too. Ride quality is good and pickup is great. It is priced at Rs 63500, which is same as the 150 cc Hero Honda Hunk. All the above bikes have alloy wheels……the thing I find irritating about the Hunk, Karizma and the TVS RTR is that there is no heel gear pedal, just the toe pedal. So you actually have to ‘lift’ the toe pedal shift to higher gears. For me, this will take a little bit of time to get accustomed to, because I am used to stepping on the heel pedal to shift to higher gears.
All in all, all the above given bikes are good. One of my friends advised me to go in for a bajaj pulsar, other one who owns a pulsar told me don’t go for it, go in for a Honda Unicorn, some others told me to try RTR 160, saying that it’s a good bike. My grandfather told me to buy anything apart from a bajaj!!
So it’s a dilemma of course, a tough call, again there are also factors like my height and built being suitable for the bike, and also a question of whether I really want to buy a new bike at all? My present bike in repaired condition is also performing beautifully, why to sell off this bike, also its just completed 2 years…..?

SOPs for the home......and the dodka sms series!!!

One of the golden rules of my home is to eat whatever is made for the day……whether you like it or you don’t. As per mom’s ‘SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) for the home’ this rule is to be followed and if not followed the option of going without food is always open. I am a young fellow and being so I cannot go in for the latter option. So I have to eat whatever is made whether I like it or not!!! Its not that I don’t like a lot of foods that are made at home but there are some which I simply hate!!! For instance I hate ‘Bhendi ki sabji’. Some people love that but I simply hate it. Whenever I eat ‘bhendi ki sabji’ I get the feeling that I am chewing on some squishy and leathery substance. I fail to understand why it is called as ‘lady’s finger’ in English when it looks more like ‘crocodile skin’ or ‘green rubber leaves’!!! Many of my friends have similar rules at their respective homes. One of my friend hates ‘Dodka’ or in english ‘Ridge Gourd’. His mom once made the ‘Dodke ki sabji’ twice in the same week…!!! He was quite distressed and sent me an sms that evening after dinner….This series of sms and their replies is worth recording in this post…..

Sms from R:
How can you have Dodka twice a week?

Reply sms from me:
If you can have Vodka twice a week……why not dodka?

Sms from R:
Vodka gives me a high…..
Dodka makes me sigh……

Reply sms from me:
Alright then,
Cheers to vodka,
Jeers to dodka!!!

Next day my dear friend seemed to be a little bit too hungry in the morning!!!


Anyone who reads this post LIKES ‘karele ka sabji’? If you do.....Congrats!!! You are the lucky few who won’t have any problem following ‘SOPs for the home’.

A salute!!!!

Today I watched an episode of the History channel’s famous series ‘Dogfights’. A dogfight may be defined as air to air combat or an aerial battle between two military aircrafts. Dogfights were not uncommon, but this episode featured a pilot who actually made a last ditch attempt to destroy the enemy aircraft by ramming his own plane into his enemy’s and still lived to tell this heroic story. (Interviews were given by both the pilots………..the one who rammed his plane on the enemy’s and the one whos plane was rammed!!! Don’t ask me how they survived, call it the height of luck or the limit of mortality!!! See the documentary). And then, of course, who can forget the term ‘kamikaze’. The fearsome Japanese pilots, who, loaded their planes with explosives, bombs and in a last bid attempt to destroy enemy targets, would intentionally crash their planes onto the targets….!!!
Call it madness, sacrifice, love of mother land or whatever……
What must be passing through their minds, I often wonder, when I see such type of documentaries? What must they be thinking of, at that moment, at the moment when you know death is onto you, when you know that all is lost, when you see your comrades falling one by one….those people with whom you had shared some rare friendly moments……said best of luck to them before the mission and with a twinge of sadness said “Hope to see you again soon!!”. It is a blend of all these thoughts that brings a man to his final frenzy……..he readies himself at last, drives all these thoughts away……and thinks of only his target…….after that a bright light of explosion and then total darkness…… This is what I think, happens. I have not been in such a situation, even if I would be in such a situation I would not have the guts to carry out the final action. I think it would scare the shit out of me and I would run away or, in case of a plane, bale out!!
A salute to all those soldiers who died fighting for their country!!!

Happy holi!!!

Wishing readers of this blog…..a very happy and colourful holi (a bit late I guess but its ok)!!! Didn’t exactly ‘play’ holi this year….chilled out at home….did some work….and relaxed. Watched the children of our neighbourhood play, though and wished that my friends would come for holi too. They didn’t turn up.I was a bit annoyed with them !!! All thanks to some rubbish reasons such as we are ‘grown ups’ now and so playing holi isnt fun anymore (What ???? Yeah one of my friends told me that once in recent times..!!!) and the ‘sensitive’ skins that develop rashes……Anyway……a big BOOO to those who have these views and don’t play holi….!!! Holi is fun as long as it is played within the limits of…….hygiene and decency…….So once again wishing everyone a very happy and colourful holi!!!

Uncle???????????

Being the ‘shorty’ of the class, I was always made to feel like a kid in a class of teenagers!!! Felt bitter hatred against the people in the class who teased me…..fought with a few too…..and came out ‘tops’ in those fights at times too!!! Being short and skinny and being teased by other people (sometimes even the adults….who used to laugh and say “oh hahaha…..what a tiny fella!!!) sort of developed into an inferiority complex. I went into a sort of shell for many years…..Had that feeling…even in early college days. No matter what exercises I did (swimming, basketball, stretching exercises etc.)….my height did not increase…..my weight did not rise……always looked younger than my age. Finally I gave up on my height and decided to ignore the insults thrown by people regarding this matter….after all god had given me 2 arms and 2 legs and the other senses…..he had not send me to the world handicapped.! This sort of thinking made me a mentally stronger person. Later on weight training helped me to some extent, atleast for gaining weight!! In fact I started feeling happy about the fact that I look younger than my age and started bragging about it…………….until recently there were was an incident which shut my bragging up………………
I had just come back from office and was enjoying a glass of lemonade, mom wasn’t there in the house. The doorbell rang. I opened the door and found two kids standing at the doorstep……both must be around 10 years of age…..they had come to collect some funds for some voluntary organizations through their school

Kids: Uncle, Uncle….we have naaaa…come to collect funds…..Please give us money so that we can give it to charity….

Me: Uncle is not home, boys.

Kids: But if you have money, uncle, you can give it to us no?

Me: Uncle is not home, boys, I told u so….

Kids: We meant you….uncle…

Me (Thinking): These stupid brats……….calling me uncle……

I snatched the paper from their hands in which the entries of the names of the people who had given donations had been made. People had donated varying amounts ranging from Rs 5 to Rs 20…I took my wallet and took out a twenty rupee note, signed my name on the paper and gave it to them.

Kids: Thank you, uncle.

As they turned to leave, I thought of something and I called them back and said

Me: Look here boys…..I will give you this Rs 50 note for your donation if you promise not to call me uncle……if you ever see me again!!!!

Kids (Took the note): Thank you, bhaiyaa!!!!

Me (Thinking): Much better, you little jerks..!!!

Bachpan me ‘chintu’…….abhi uncle………Saala…..JAWANI KIDHAR KHO GAYI??????

I love to watch...........

I love to watch……………

The sun rising up over the horizon spreading a halo of divine light….splashing the blue with a blend of golden yellow, orange and red……the beginning of a new dawn…..the commencement of a day…..its radiance and overwhelming power which has sustained life on planet earth….

The crystal clear, peaceful, aquamarine and settled waters of a river…..the soft ‘plonk’ of a small stone….thrown by me…..the wee splash and the soft ripples it creates on impact….

The dew drops on the leaves shining like pearls……a sprinkling of precious stones by ma nature….

The full moon in the open skies , illuminating the night. The stars twinkling as if winking naughtily at me…..

The dark shadows of the palm trees on a beach on a full moon night…….the palm fronds rustling and waving in the cool breeze of the starry night…..

The dark sillouhette of a lady sitting in the sands of a beach……….throwing her head back lazily, wind blowing her hair, slender legs stretched out in the seemingly white sands in the night……

The first rains…..the appearance of dark clouds…..the fragrance of damp soil….the cool, fresh breeze at its onset…..the soft patter of raindrops as they fall on the roof…..and the downpour of rain….enjoyed likewise by the child, youth and the old……

The small delicate bud of flower…..which appeared only yesterday….. it will bloom full into a beautiful flower and will embellish the plant like a diamond necklace on a charming someone…….

The nostalgia of travelling by a ST...

When I was younger (much younger than I am today!!!) my mother, sister and I used to make a lot of trips to pune. Pune was well and truly what I can call as my ‘native place’. This is because all my grandparents stay in pune and my mom, dad, my sister and myself all were born in pune. So whenever my summer vacations started it used to be like “ I am going to pune!!! Hooray!!!! They say that when you are younger, your happiness lies in smaller things…….very true!!
In those days, there used to be only two ST buses a day which travelled from vashi to pune. One used to depart in the mornings and the departure time for the other was 3.45 p.m in the evening. Asiad buses were almost non-existent (1 bus per day) and fares for asiad buses was more than the usual red coloured ST buses’ fare. So my mom used to make reservations for the 3.45 p.m red coloured ST bus (We used to call ST buses as “Laal dabaa” which means red box! It is red coloured with yellow stripes and has a box-like shape!). My sister and I used to count the hours till it was finally time to go to the ST bus stop. Once the journey started it was great fun….Never a moment of dullness….!!! The wind in my face, the rocking motion of the bus and the rattling of the metallic boards and the seats (some of the STs had seats in such deplorable condition, that I had once seen 3 seat cushions coming out of their seat frames after the bus had gone through 3 potholes in quick sucession), the typical revving of the STs powerful but noisy engine and the great outdoor scenery. Whenever the scenery got monotonous, I used to observe the passengers. Some of them used to doze off, their heads drooping sideways, backwards or forwards, some of them sleeping off with their mouths open. It was an even funnier sight to see all these sleeping passengers’ eyes going WIDE open whenever the bus’ tires hit a ditch in the road……Seeing their eyes open that way was like seeing a bulb lighting up for just a second before going off again. Then it was the ghats……the curved roads, the view of the mountains, the tunnels all were simply amazing to see. The ghats used to be the section of the mumbai pune road we used to wait for. And then it was lonavla bus stop. The ST bus used to stop there for a 15 minute break. Mom used to buy ‘batata wadas’ for us……which used to be a real treat!!! After this the journey was relatively boring till pune….we used to keep asking mom every 10 minutes or so as to how long before we reach pune. Mom used to tell us that it is very near. Finally after 4 hours of total travelling time from vashi to pune our bus would reach the pune ST stop (swargate). Grandpa would always be there to pick us up in his FIAT. Finally we were in pune and going to our grandparents house!!!
However, times change and with changing times, things change…………A new road…..the mumbai pune expressway has been made due to which maximum travelling time from vashi to pune is 2 and half hours. We have a car now…..we rarely travel by the ‘Laal dabaa’, the number of red STs commuting from vashi to pune has been increased from 2 buses a day to 1 bus every 15 minutes!!! Grandpa sold his FIAT and bought a new Wagon R!!
However some things never change…..the ST bus is still called as ‘ laal dabaa’, they still have very noisy engines and rattle hard and the last thing that will never change ever again………..IT STILL IS A BIG TREAT WHEN SOMEONE BUYS ME A ‘BATATA WADA’ !!!!!

Nature, the surprise package!!!

This weekend I went for the darshan of my ‘kuldiavat’ and ‘kuldevi’……in case any of you reading the post don’t know the meaning of the marathi words ‘kuldiavat’ and ‘kuldevi’……it means the god and the goddess which has been worshipped by the family from ancestral times or a better way to put it would be ‘The clan god’. Anyway….the trip was wonderful. I don’t feel like posting the travel description because it might be too lengthy. So ill just highlight the special moments of the trip. The temples of my kuldaivat (Kal bhairav) and kuldevi (Bhavkadevi) are situtated in villages called wada and padel respectively. These villages are near the town of Kankavli in the Sindhudurg district of Maharashtra. These temples at wada and padel are not large or rich….like the temple of siddhivinayak in mumbai….but they were very peaceful and even though smaller in size they were clean and well maintained. My concept of a ‘darshan’ is not quite the type where you stand in long queues waiting to get a glimpse of the idol!!!

So anyway talking about the trip in general, there were some sights which were totally unexpected in pleasing manner:

1) As we were travelling from Kolhapur to Kankavli…..it was a flat road surrounded by plains on both sides. After sometime we came to a road with a somewhat sharp incline beyond the top of which nothing could be seen from our car. I thought that maybe this was just another road and beyond the incline there would be nothing but flat land again. When we came to the top of the incline we had a breathtaking view of a deep valley!!! We had come to the start of the descend of ‘karul’ ghat!!! The view was simply mindblowing and the sight was absolutely refreshing!!!
2) When we were travelling from kankavli to wada….. it was just the same old flat road with flat plains and greenery all around. As we came near a curve on the road, we saw that there was a bridge ahead, probably on a river, I thought, many rivers flow through the konkan region into the sea, As I drove the car onto the bridge and looked sideways……I suddenly realized that it was not a river over which the bridge was built…..it was, in fact, the sea!!!! It was a creek bridge!!!! I could see the endless expanse of the waters below the bridge!!! It was a totally unexpected sight, seeing the sea after a perfectly plateau type land form!!! I knew that we were near the sea from the start, of course, but that sight…..Ah!!

I can never forget these two moments when I saw the deep valley and the expanse of the sea so suddenly. My heart felt a different kind of emotion…..one of joy, elation, happiness, jubilation……adjectives would be inadequate to describe my feelings!!! I leave it to you guys reading the post to imagine!!

My cousins marriage!!!

A conversation:
Mom: Your cousin’s marriage is fixed on the 22nd Saturday!!!!
Me (Thinking): Shit!!!! She is going to tell me to come along!!! What a bore!!
Me (Aloud) : Which cousin, by the way?
Mom: Your cousin Ramesh. We will go by car. Dads coming as well.
Me: Who the hell is Ramesh? Is he my cousin?
Mom: Of course, you devil…..he is my second cousin’s third youngest son…
Me: Wat? And who is ur second cousin?
Mom: Shammi aunty, of course.
Me (Thinking): Who the hell is shammi aunty?
Me (Aloud): Sorry mom, cant make it…..I have some work.
Mom: But you have Satudays off at office? What work? You don’t work at home either? Then?
Me (Thinking): Shes right!!! Oh no!!! I have no excuse!!
Me (Now saying aloud): Actually I was planning to hang out with my friends…
Mom: You always hang out with your friends.. It wont matter if u come along with us for one day….to your cousins marriage…..

And then I have to drag along for some wedding of some unknown cousin of mine…..whom I have never met, never talked to and never even known his name till the point when mom told me. Weddings have always been boring for me…..I even think that I would get bored on my wedding day too!! Anyway, we reach the venue of the wedding and find someone who greets us at the gates. Someone in kurta who seems to know my mother and father both…..We get inside the wedding hall and sit in someplace. We watch the proceedings for some time….suddenly a fat looking lady appears and smiles at the 3 of us…Mom introduces me to her….she is ‘The shammi aunty’ mom has talked about. She sits down next to me and there is another conversation between us…

Shammi aunty: You have grown so much…!!!
Me (Thinking): Not as much as you have fatty!!!
Shammi aunty: You remember me? Of course, you wouldn’t…!!! You were so small then, I had taken you in my arms then……and u had done susu…!!!
Me (Thinking): BOY!!! I AM GRATEFUL AT MY BABY SELF FOR PEEING IN YOUR ARMS!!!!
Shammi aunty: Ok….have fun ‘young man’
Me (Thinking): ya right!!
Me (aloud): bye aunty!!!

Time drags by…..I keep watching my watch…..suddenly mom calls out from somewhere…..i look up to see her siting with a group of ladies whos ‘age group’ is same as moms……mom introduces me to these ladies…..One of them asks me…

Lady: What are you doing these days?
Me: Working for an engineering company.
Lady: Oh so you are an engineer!!! Great!! Job has started…great.!!! What is your age?
Me (While getting a hint as to which direction this talk is heading to!!): 24.
Lady: Mrs K your son is well settled now…..you should look out for a girl for him…..hehehehheheh!!! (All the ladies in that group start giggling like little braty girls starting a naughty plan)
Me (Thinking): Oh no!!! Do these people have no other job?

After this we meet the bride and the groom to give him gifts ( the bride and the groom both look tired…….they don’t seem to be enjoying their own wedding at all!!!) and later have lunch……and then finally it is time to go……When we are leaving we meet another lady……of my moms age….she is accompanied by a very pretty girl. The tragedy is that I have not seen a single good looking girl in the wedding as yet (as usual) I am looking at the girl when a sort of recognition dawns upon moms face and mom cries out….

Mom: oohhhhhhhhhh!!! Sujata !!!!!!
The lady: ooohhhhhhh!!!! Madhuri!!!!!
Both of them hug each other…..I wish I could grab the girl…the same way as these two did!

Mom: Sujata…..its been a long time!!! Its been like 10 years isnt it? We met at the 20th school reunion?
Sujata: Yes, I remember…..you have put on a lot of weight…..
Me (thinking): Oh good they are school classmates. That means the pretty girl must be her daughter!!! Great!!! Hope I get an intro………
Mom: Sujata let me introduce you to my son…Ravi and husband Mr. K.
Sujata: Hello Ravi, what are you doing these days…….?
Me (Thinking): Cmon aunty just introduce me to your daughter atleast….maybe ill get her email ID and stay in touch.
Me (Aloud): I am fine and …….blah blah….
Sujata: Oh I did not introduce her to you people (points at the pretty girl)
Me (Thinking): Yes!!! Finally!!!
Sujata: She is my daughter in law. My second sons wife…..My son is in the states and ….blah blah blah….
Me (Thinking): CRASH!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!!! Party’s over…..I am going home!!!

Saturday trip to Karnala

My friend ron was a bit worried on Friday……Ron, KC and I were to go Karnala on Saturday on our bikes (biking trip). Ron was worried because the last time we had planned a trip on Saturday on bikes……things had gone wrong…..reason being I had met with an accident on preceding Friday…….due to which my buddies had cancelled the trip. Anyway…..nothing happened to me this Friday…..the only accident I met with was seeing a beautiful girl in our locality !!!
We started off to Karnala at around 0830 hrs in the morning….everbody got up on time thankfully…..Filled our bikes’ tanks with petrol….and started off. KC and ron were on ron’s bike and I was alone on my bike……On the way we stopped at Shree Datta snacks corner in panvel…..and had wadapav and chaai. The advantage in going to Shree Datta snacks corner is that the food is good and there is a lot of candy for your eye too..!!! From there karnala is not much far off on the bombay goa highway….we reached karnala, KC bought the entry tickets at Rs 30 each and we parked our bikes near the rest houses some distance away from the entry gates. Karnala is, of course, a bird sanctuary but apart from that there is also a fort at karnala…We saw some unhappy looking birds in cages and then went on to climb the fort. Actually we came to Karnala for the sake of making a short trip by bike and to have some fun together. We started the climb which initially seemed to be quite ok, as usual, we were wrong!!! We took the harder route….the steep climb path….it turned out to be extremely steep…and as if that wasn’t hard enough there were patches where there was loose dirt and loose stones…..which made the climb difficult…..and so puffing and panting and slipping and sweating we finally reached a sort of plateau. We thought we had reached the fort but then in the distance saw that it was still some more way to go…..We decided to stop for some time on the plateau and return as it was already 1230 and our stomachs had started rumbling with the want of food. So we clicked some photos and started back….the descent seemed to be as difficult as the climb, it was very steep and we had to hold on to a branch of tree every time we gained ‘extra momentum’. KC was on flotters and this kind of footwear is guaranteed to give you that extra ‘slip’ (not the extra ‘grip!!), I was a bit afraid that he was behind me while descending….but then he was a bit afraid too because ron was behind him too!!! Luckily no one fell…… I nearly caused an injury however….I held one of the branches and swung on it while descending and then took my hands off it…..the branch…..swung back to its normal position…..where ron was standing!!!! It hit him on the head……not too hard however…..just enough to make me laugh at this incident!!! After this we started back on the highway. We stopped at the dhaba where I had stopped on New years night. We ordered food…..the old ‘kaka’ seemed to remember me…….he told me that he had seen me before…..was pretty much surprised at the old mans razor sharp memory!!! We ate channa masala and chicken sabji in the typical countryside gravy and 4 tandoori rotis each……all this while there were animals around us…..A dog, lots of hens and only one cock (lucky bastard!!). There was also a small kitten she seemed to be enjoying mewing at us and weaving in and out of the spaces between our feet…..Finally kaka picked up the kitten by the skin of her neck and threw her out like a rag!!!! After having our food and paying the bill (Only Rs 346!!!) we came back to vashi non stop, this time KC riding my bike….(he drove it faster and ‘incident free’). Came home and slept like a log only to wake up when the Electricity load shedding power cut started.!!!

A bond called friendship...

The journey of life till now has been pretty much good for me. I had my shares of ups and downs. Clashes between good times and bad times, times of frustration, times of satisfaction, times when I felt on top of the world, times when I felt I could never recover from a fall and so on and so forth. My friends (apart from my parents, of course) played a huge role. They were my support system, foundation pillars of a building called ‘ my life’. I am talking, of course, of my circle of some very good friends. We shared our best and worst times together. I remember those old times we played with each other, clapped each others hands in joy, shared our small joys and sorrows, maybe even cried when we were unhappy when we were younger. Lately it is more the company of each other that is important. All of us meet each other every day….in the same place…..near my building….and then go out somewhere……maybe catch a snack…….all the indian fast food…..Bhel puri and sev puri from the ‘Bhel wala Bhaiyaa’ , Veg toast sandwich from the local sandwich store…called ‘Gupta Sandwich’ etc. People ask me, “Why do you meet your friends every day? Its not that you hang out in some cool place or something, you just meet them every day and chat, arent you out of topics by now, what is the attraction in meeting them every day? Its not like you are meeting some lovely lady who is your ‘girlfriend’? You are just meeting boys….who are friends…..of course….but still everyday?” The answer to that question is simple and yet it is annoyingly complex in terms of the number of reasons…..I’ll give you the simple answer. The answer is that there are some matters which you can disclose only to your closest and best friends. Its that simple. Parents can be talked to freely, but even there, there is a limit to this ‘freeness’ which is not there with your best friends. (This can be vice versa too in some other matters). So the thing with friendship, is that it starts between people with some small common interest (like say, 2-3 boys who used to stay in the same colony and loved to play cricket in their younger days…..became friends!) and if nutured and cared for develops into a strong bond called ‘Friendship’. True friendship is that which remains intact, even after the times change, people change, conditions change…..even after you have a misunderstanding with your friend or after he or she has hurt you in some way, in fact, once it has been through all these phases it grows stronger. Till now, friendship for me has been laughter and jokes all the way…..we used to pull each others legs and laugh as hard as we could. It was ok at that time, but now things have changed, we are all older, into our early 20s and more mature, I used to feel sadened by this change a few months back , I used to feel we are losing the old times……but now I know that people have started speaking out their minds, their innermost thoughts in front of friends…..I have also come to realise that there are sensitive issues which shouldn’t be laughed at…even that is not allowed in true friendship. This has been hard learnt lesson for me……me, someone who adamantly refuses to believe that times change…..and its laughter all the way!!!!

Rajnikanth.....the true and Indian superhero

Got to say that one of my favourite actors is Rajnikanth, the greatest megastar of the tamil movies. Of course, my definition of ‘favourite actor’ would mean that an actor whos acting and dramatics have made me laugh the most!!! (Not that I watched his tamil movies but the actions he displays in those films and in some hindi movies like chaalbaaz, Hum are awesome!!) I did a bit of background reading on Rajnikanth and found out that he was born on December 12, 1949, with the name Shivaji Rao Gaekwad. Earlier he earned his living by working as a bus conductor and then later on moved on to chennai to become an actor.
The thing about him is that he regularly bashes up the bad guys in the movies, that too with great style. This is something which makes me wonder that all the superheroes of the hollywood are nothing in front of our Rajnikanth……Presenting…….Rajnikanth vs the superheroes…….

Robocop Vs Rajnikanth
Imagine that Robocop is the villain.Robocop pulls off his gun and fires at Rajni. Rajni doesn’t even bother to get out of the way…..(he could have caught them with his hand of course!!). Those bullets don’t pierce his chest. He takes out a simple blade from his pocket…….throws it towards robocop…..then throws another blade towards the first blade…..the first blade splits into 2, the second blade splits into 2 pieces as well………2 of those pieces hit his arms and cut them off, the other 2 pieces cut off his legs and all 4 pieces boomerang and cut off his head!!! Robocop is finished…..the end.

Fantastic Four Vs Rajnikanth.
Mr Fantastic the rubber man stretches and winds himself around Rajni….Rajnikanth inhales in air….a lot of air…so much so that his body starts expanding and keeps on doing so until Mr Fantastic bursts into pieces……The invisible woman tries to kill Rajni with her force field…..but unfortunately she ‘falls’ for Rajni…the handsome fellow…..The human torch tries to burn Rajni….but Rajni just blows hard so that the flames are extinguished……Rajni counterattacks by throwing up his goggles…..the sunrays are focused thru his goggles on to the human torch and the human torch burns up…….As for ‘The thing’ it tries to punch Rajni in the face but Rajni simply blocks his attack, catches ‘the thing’ by the throat, waits for the goggles to fall back on his eyes(which he had thrown earlier to counterattack…..he threw it so hard that it is coming down now…!!!) and then punches ‘the thing’ so hard that ‘the thing’ is never seen on earth again…..the end…..of Fantastic Four. And Rajni laughs and says……char se bhale teen….teen se bhale do…….do se bhala yechk !!!

Classmate Vs Rajnikanth.
Imagine this…..when Rajnikanth was a young boy this is what would have happened……The class teacher asked Rajnikanth’s enemy classmate to say the alphabets from A to Z…..He said it in around 30 secs…Rajni was asked to do the same…..the teacher announced if Rajni could do it in less than 30 secs he would be given a prize…..Rajni was very clever…..but 30 secs could be very…..so he said the alphabets from A to G, then held up a glass of water and then continued from P to Z …..he did it in 15 seconds and won the prize……..dont ask me to explain why? If u do u have a very poor sense of PJ humor……

The day of the appraisals....

'Twas a D-day for us in the office…..The appraisal letters are distributed in January and resignation letters are handed over the next few days !!!!….depending on the happiness or unhappiness of the employees. This time too the atmostphere seemed to be charged with electricity. I had come in a smart looking white shirt (which I had decided to colour black in protest….in case I got a bad appraisal). So anyway…appraisal day is very important for everyone..(everyone being a very large number of people……comprising of almost the whole working population of this big, bad, mad world. This is the day when the boss gets a chance to show you your true place (If the boss always shows you your true place….this is the time when YOU get an excuse to put in your resignation!!!) This is the day when some people cry, some others laugh with joy, some people go to the bar and drink…..some out of jubilation, some out of sorrow, some curse their bad luck, some thank their stars. That’s how the appraisal day is. Well anyway, got a great raise in salary this time…probably had the third best performance rating and appraisal amount amongst the people in my grade. I am very happy that my salary has increased by a large amount. Can’t say I am not disappointed that I could not get the best performance rating amongst people in my grade. Had always thought that I had produced the best output….if not THE best atleast amongst the best….also was working on 2 projects at a time…..so thought that would go in my favour as well. But it did not…..thats the reality and will have to live with it and move on…Life is unfair at times….many a times. People who read this post will feel….this bugger got the third best payment…and hes not happy….but then this was my chance to be the best after a long time….and it didn’t turn out to be that way….Its not that I am totally pissed off (didn’t paint my shirt black did I ?) …..but then its not that I am totally not pissed off either!!!!

Bachpan ki kahaniya!!!

When I was young lad one of my best entertainment sources was grandmother!!! If you r wondering how, then u really have missed out on something. The stories that my grandmom told me were awesome, guys. I still remember most of them. When she started telling them it was like being transported to another world!!! Most of these stories were from the Indian mythology concerned with the very gods that we worship!!! Let me tell you one of them.
Young Lord ganesh and his brother Lord kartikeyan were feeling bored. They had no good deed to do, no quarrel to ‘suljhaofy’, no ‘shraaps’ to be given. They asked mother goddess Parvati to suggest some ‘timepass’. Parvati suggested that they should have a race. The first one to go around the world three times wins. So karthikeyan sat down on his peacock (his ‘vahaan’) and started off like our narain karthikeyan on his f1 car. Little Ganesh(little?) meanwhile was a fat fellow who had just stuffed his 100th modak in his mouth. I always find it hard to believe that a fat god like that should have a mouse as a ‘vahaan’.
So anyway, as kartikeyan was making a second round, ganpati got up and went round the place his father and mother were sitting!!! That is to show that they were the world for him!!!! Very clever isn’t it? Or is it laziness? U decide and tell me. Parvati declared ganesh as the winner, a reason why in maharashtrians( don’t know bout others) women don’t enter a lord karthikeyan temple!!!
Moral:- your parents ARE the world for you, trust them!!!!

Oh!!! There is just one more moral- there ARE shortcuts to success!!! ( just kidding!!!)

Personal Interview - Direct Dil Se!!!!

This was something which i wrote during the days when placements were going on in engineering college........Back then the HR questions asked in interviews were quite common.....

Just today a friend told me: kya yaar!!! I am hell bored of giving interviews. Wherever I go they ask me the same HR questions!! Tell me something about yourself? Strengths, weaknesses? Kya dimag ko shot lag gaya hai!!

The thing about these HR questions is that, and I am sure most of u will agree that the answers which we give DO NOT come right from our hearts. We feel something else about that question and the answers which come out of our mouths is different, like for example: we may be wanting to pursue further studies but we say that “I am not planning to pursue further studies” so that the interviewer is assured that this person will not leave the company. Get it? Thus, I feel that a PI is like a drama where our real thoughts take the backstage and our real answers are the main stage actors!!!

What would be the answers if they came right from the heart: direct dil se?
Some examples:

Tell me something about yourself:
I am a real cool guy who was born intelligent in so and so and brought up in so and so. I was a stupid confused guy in 12th standard and so I took up engg and then performed like hell and finally now I am BE instru. So basically education ruined me and now u will ruin me. But what else can I do? I got to have a job right now! Be happy with what I have told you and give me the job!

What are your strengths?
I have all the strengths right now!You name it I have it!!

What are your weaknesses?
Weaknesses me? Ok yes there’s one! I feel like laughing right now!!

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
I see myself in your seat while you are sitting where I am sitting right now!!!

Why should we employ you?
You should employ me because I am not an idiot sitting here so long listening to all this bullshit you are telling me!

How will employing you benefit the company?
F*** your company!! i just want the job and that fat pay packet you are offering……..15000 starting sal wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? Huh?

Can you tell me something about our company?
How should I know? You are the boss!! You should know!!

Why are your academic marks so low?
Thats because this marksheet is not the real one.......if you would have seen the real one.....they are even lower in that!!!

So do you have any other such ‘direct dil se’ personal interview answers? If you do………………..well keep them to yourself, of course!!!

Some of my recommended sites.......

I was surfing the net some days ago.......found some good 'quote' sites. One of them is www.quotegarden.com..... a site which contains a real good collection of quotes and proverbs on various topics.......like humor, wisdom, love, life etc...
Some of the quotes on humor i found on this site are as given below......


Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. ~Author Unknown

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ~Author Unknown

Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~Hugh Sidey

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. ~Mary Hirsch

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh. ~Raymond Hitchcock

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike? ~Jean Cocteau

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. ~Author Unknown


There was another site......some of you who read this post might be knowing something called as 'Murphy's laws'. In case u dont know take a look at this site......those who do know, well they can take a look at this site as well...... www.murphys-laws.com..... Call him a pessimist or a person with great sense of humour.........some pessimist laws from this site are as given below:


Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

These two sites definitely make a good read.....

Engineering years ki poems

Aaah…those 4 years of my engineering……..It was a time when I went through a lot of disappointments and failures….The only time in my life when the poet in me raised its head…..Two of the poems I composed at that time……(they r not that good……but then I was a total failure at that time…..so those poems are bound to be total nonsense…..anyway those poems express my feelings!) I wrote the first poem( Kidhar aa gaya hu main?) in my second year of engineering...when i felt totally hopeless......due to my KTs and other things. The second poem(Yun hi chala chal rahi) composed was at the time of the fourth and final year when the hopelessness had reached a saturation and i had started thinking....what more worse could happen than this?


Kidhar aa gaya hu main?
Bhatak raha hu in raasto par kab se,
Musafir hu yaaro,
Engineering ke us safar me,

Akeli hai yeh rahe,
Akeli hai yeh baahe,
Akela hu main yaaro,
Engineering ke is safar me,

Naa koi manzil hai,
Naa hai koi humrahi,
Naa kisi ka gum hai,
Naa hai koi khushi,

Kis baat ka hai hume intezaar,
Yeh baat kyaa hai, hume nahi maloom hai, mere yaar,
Phir bhi nikla hu in anjaani raho par,
Musafir hu yaaro
Engineering ke is safar me.




Yunhi chala chal rahi
Rukna nahi, Thakna nahi,
Raahi tu kabhi jhukna nahi,
Har raat ke baad ek savera hai,
Har savere me naya ujiyala hai,
Kabhi dar lage to, ishwar ka naam lena,
Himmat rakhna,
Aur aage kadam badhana.

Rocking night!!!!

Was feeling very down on the 31st December afternoon. After making and canceling several plans for new years eve……the final outcome was that I was left out with no plans at all!! Most of my friends had their backup plans. Some were going out with their girlfriends (they were the ones who, of course, had no other option!!!!). Some others who didn’t have girlfriends were still going out somewhere. So one of my friends, Irfan and I were the ones who were left alone. I called up Irfan that afternoon and asked him as to what the ‘situation’ was? He told me that his car was available in the evening and that if nothing happened we could atleast go for dinner and a long drive. Now we were also faced with another problem……… we had to have people apart from myself and Irfan. (We would have looked like a ‘couple’ of a ‘different kind’, if only both of us, had gone out for dinner and a long drive!!!). Luckily, two of my other friends, daanish and nikhil, who we meet only sometimes (they are quite busy at other times!!), agreed to join us!!! So we finally were heading somewhere with this last moment plan…..I had this idea of going out for dinner at a local place and then heading out for a long drive till lonavla. Daanish knew a dhaba near karnala which serves excellent food……we decided that we will go there……We started at around nine-thirty at night……The police had placed checkpoints at many places……to catch late night drunken drivers…….We crossed panvel and were heading down the Mumbai pune old road……I did not know the road to karnala, nor did nikhil, nor irfan, and as daanish knew where the dhaba was, we assumed that he knew the road. After sometime however it seemed that Daanish was a bit confused about the road too!!!……he kept telling us that he could not make out the roads at night time!!! When we came to the toll station on the Mumbai pune old road…..he mentioned that he did not remember seeing a toll station when he went to the dhaba last time!!! By the time he told us this, Irfan was paying toll to the toll station booth man!!!! We realized that the karnala road was left behind and we had payed the toll for a different road!!!! After everyone finished punching Daanish for his stupidity, we took a u-turn and headed towards the karnala road (Karnala is on the Mumbai Goa road…….A right turn at panvel ‘phata’ takes you to Mumbai-goa road!!! We had gone straight earlier and had left the right turn behind!!!) Finally we reached Daanish’s dhaba. It was a ‘typical’ dhaba. A small place which looked shabby on the outside with the paint on the wall chipping off and trucks parked nearby. Nikhil started complaining that the place did not seem ‘decent’ and that it did not serve liquor and that we should go to a place which looked decent. After listening to much of this cribbing we turned back to go to another ‘hotel’ which we had seen in the way not far behind. The ‘hotel’ to which we went was decent enough but did not offer very ‘decent’ rates. So after ordering the starters and punching Nikhil for his stupidity (and the liquor, Nikhil had bought a quart of ‘Old monk’ rum.) we decided to leave it at that and go to the ‘indecent’ dhaba much against Nikhil’s wishes. On reaching the dhaba an old man (‘kaka’) greeted us and directed us to a nice place to sit…..a ‘tent’ open from the sides and with roofs made of straw and the sides partially covered with green colored curtains……Kaka told us that dinner would be ready in half an hour. Till that time, we chatted, wished each other a happy new year (it was almost new year when we ordered the food!!!) and enjoyed the peacefulness of the place. Also the ‘divine’ aroma of food coming from the kitchen was stimulating our appetites. The food came after an hour or so…..(Kaka’s judgement of ‘half and hour’ was a bit erroneous!!) The food was excellent…..pieces of chicken roasted on coal and coated with the typical village ‘tandoori masala’, A spicy and hot curry containing fresh chicken pieces, and a typical ‘khichree’ with a ‘jeere ka tadka’!!! I cannot describe the joy of eating that food after being hungry for so much time in the cold weather!!! We finished eating at 0200 hrs in the morning, paid kaka (a small bill amount of Rs 510 to which we added a generous tip of Rs 40!!!). As they say in hindi, “ Khana aisa tha ki pet bhar gaya lekin dil nahi bhara.” Our plan for new year was different, it was adventurous, but yes it was sucessful!!! The ride back home was also great….no traffic on the way…..Not many vehicles on the road and the stars shining on a new year’s morning!!!

Trek to ahupe ghat part 2

Everyone nearly whooped with joy after reaching the top. The feeling in our legs had started to cease and the break was welcome. There was a big shady tree where all of us sat down for some time.....enjoying the light breeze and the sweet silence. The top of ahupe ghat is a plateau where you get a great view of the steep valleys and long stretch of plains below. Ahupe is nearly at a height of 3500 feet. We had our little photo sessions on the plateau, near the edges and under the huge shady tree. After this came the most important session…….the food session!!! Climbing makes me hungry (well, ok even sitting in one place and working makes me hungry but still…..!!!) The menu was a mixture……I had brought my tiffin which had baingan ka bharta and chapatti (normally, baingan ka bharta is a no no for me, but this time I was eating it like it was some kind of delicacy…..as they say…..hunger is the best sauce…..ill rephrase that…….hunger is the best baingan ka bharta!!!). There were a lot of things to eat…..one of my friends had brought a full ½ Kg tub of shrikhand, some people had brought khakra, some had brought sandwiches and some had brought……….cigarettes!! Normally I don’t have cigarettes for lunch, but then I didn’t have it even then!!! After this came the best part of the entire trip, I think, ……..We slept for under the shady tree……we caught our 40 winks in only 45 minutes …..but man!!! The way we all slept……like logs..... One of our friends woke us all up at 1530 hrs….we picked up all the litter we had made and put them in plastic bags to carry them with us……conservation of nature!! We started the descent and found out that, descending was much easier than climbing (obviously!!) However there was just one catch, people were falling on loose stones and dirt……..satish was behind me and I was afraid that he would slip and slide down the slope and either take me down along with him or squash me like a lemon!!! Anyway we all kept our footings firm and descended in less than half the time we had taken to climb up.... the total number of official and non-official breaks were only two!! So, at 1730 hrs we were again at the village where we had started…….I was just going to sit in the return taxi…..when I decided to just look back. So I looked back, and looked up, at the ahupe ghat peak, at a height of around 3500 feet from where I was standing. Standing there I wondered once again…….Did we really climb up till there?

Trek to ahupe ghat part 1

I had wanted to go on a trek / hike for a long time……since I had my last trek……so I was pretty enthusiastic about it when one of my office friends, omkar, organized a trek to a place called ahupe ghat. At least one, out of those ten ‘holiday plans’ made, seemed to be working. We decided to have the trek on a weekend. There were seven people from my office including me….. Omkar, rohan, sachin, tushar, satish and prashant. There were also two other fellows, amit and another satish (who were satish’s friends!!!).
I started from my house along with prashant and sachin and reached rohan’s house. Thankfully no one was sleeping when I called them up…..people were punctual for once (Omkar warned us that there was no flexi time for starting the trek!!!). The four of us traveled upto Kalyan by rohan’s car and parked it at a friend’s place. Target Kalyan station was achieved by 0730 hours. (please excuse the military language.) There we met the other guys. Tushar was hungry, as he always is, but no food was available so early in Kalyan , so we caught the state transport bus to Murbad. Once we reached Murbad, we had a traditional breakfast of ‘misal pav’ and ‘cutting’ chai. We hired a taxi to go to Khopivali village, the starting point of the climb. The taxi driver would drop us at khopivali village and would pick us up in the evening at 1730 hrs……that was the deal……do not ask me the commercial implications of this deal. We reached Khopivali at 1000 hrs and started the climb. The trail is through a forest which thickens as you climb up. The ascend was easy initially…..However very soon it became steeper. The weather was quite humid. After sometime, due to the difference in everyone’s climbing pace, three groups were formed…….one group which was ahead……..another which was behind…….and a third one who’s members were telling people of the first group to wait for people of the second group and at the same time encouraging the members of the second group to climb faster!!! If you have understood the above sentence…..I am happy to tell you that I was a part of the third group!!! On the way there were two natural water reservoirs at different places where we took our first and second ‘official’ breaks (We took many ‘unofficial’ breaks!!!). We reached the top at around 1300 hrs. It was sheer sense of achievement for everyone……we had reached the top of ahupe ghat!!!!

Traffic nonsense.

I had once asked my uncle, who was an army officer, about the war with pakistan in 1971 and how he felt when he had fought among the brave soldiers. He had said that war is total chaos.
Today when i drive my bike or my car on the indian roads...........i feel that i dont have to be an army man to experience war. I get a feel of it on our roads!!! People here dont have traffic sense, they are possessed by traffic nonsense. Even if you drive in a disciplined manner, other drivers will not. When you try to maintain lane discipline, people will either force you out of your lane or will honk like crazy. Breaking traffic signals is a common feature and with the new signal 'counters', people will count the time and when counter is at around 20 seconds to green (vehicles assume green signal when counter is 10 seconds to the actual green) , everyone turn their engine ignition on and start revving like race drivers on the start line....when the counter comes to 10 seconds....vehicles will be seen zooming off. Roads being dug up are not an uncommon sight. Diversions are created so as to smoothen the flow of traffic in such cases. On many roads, there will be potholes on only one side of the road......so in order to avoid potholes .....vehicles will suddenly swerve to the right or left.....or will suddenly go from the wrong side of the road. When roads are not a problem pedestrains are. Even if footpaths are made.....peds will still walk on the road. (so why make the footpath? For hawkers and signboards of no hawkers).......People crossing the roads seemingly 'attack' oncoming traffic....that is they walk as if they are going to cross the road......and so the oncoming vehicle driver has to think twice whether to let them pass or make them stop.....in any case they will come very close to the vehicle......so that most drivers are forced to stop. Most people dont look while crossing the road.....they will talk on their mobile phone, look in the opposite direction and walk slowly, as if they have not noticed you....when you try to bring about their attention by honking.....they will look in your direction at last and instead of getting out of the way....they turn into traffic policeman and show you the hand as if to say 'stop' and throw you a very dirty look. I could go on this topic forever.....but then no sense in discussing about traffic nonsense!!!!

Every day is the baby's day.....

I was hanging around with my friends the other day. Happened to notice a small baby in his fathers arm. The baby was positively cute. It had huge and chubby cheeks which were a nice rosy colour. Its arms were small (obviously) and were plump. His eyes were big and displayed warmth. It had a very innocent but sort of mature expression on its face. I couldnt help but 'coochie coochie' him. When i did that he smiled a mischievous smile and quickly turned away as if daring me to do it again from the direction he had turned his face too. Sometimes I feel that that age is the best. No worries, no tensions or pressures of work or studies or maybe even........ girlfriends (How do i know? I dont have a girlfriend!!! but still i have heard it from my friends who have one!!) Babies just need to eat sleep and shit.......No one minds about the facts that
1) they will have only milk
2) they can sleep all day
3) they can shit and piss anyplace they like
My mom would probably thrash me, if i tell her that i will have only my favourite food everyday, or if i sleep all day......ill pass the third point.
So the baby stage of life is the best. Apart from the above facts you also get a hell lot of publicity, people fuss over you and whenever someone annoys you, you just bawl and have someone come over and fuss over you even more.........Why the hell did i grow up?

The palm beach road

I thought of writing about the palm beach road today. The palm beach road is one of the best roads of navi mumbai.....or probably one of the best roads of mumbai and navi mumbai combined......ok, accidents on these roads have claimed a lot of lives but then a lot of these were due to people driving fast and that sort of stuff. I travel by this road everday to office and back. It is a 12 Km stretch which connects vashi, sanpada, nerul and CBD. It starts off with a flyover over the vashi railway line. Next comes the sanpada circle wherein vehicles have a tendency of appearing from nowhere.......As you near the nerul junction you will see a lot of tall buildings which look like matchboxes from a distance. The nerul junction has a signal which is usually not followed....If you get a red you cross, if you get a green u still cross, no matter whether any other vehicles are crossing or not. The policemen are out there at times. There are also a lot of hitchhikers at this signal asking for lifts till cbd.......give them lifts at ur own risk.....hopefully they wont lift ur wallets!!! Next comes a sort of pond.....at least we call it a pond......They are trying to make a jogging track next to it......but people still prefer to jog on the roads.....The pond is a favourite place for smoochers. Next comes a gaon type area where i see people cross the roads everyday in the morning.....they carry this custom made bucket which consists of a used 'dalda' container. They drill holes to the side of dalda container and tie strings to it and their bucket is ready.....The children do it on the left.....(the small yellow lines are visible from a distance) and the elders and adults do it on the right near the mangroves....best place to empty ur stomach in the mornings...open spaces as per the gaonwallas. Next we have the NRI seawoods complex to the right. The palm beach road ends at the JNPT / Nerul / CBD junction. The palm beach road has a different beauty of its own in the night times.....street lights shine like the queens necklace and a breeze blows from the creek side.

A perfectly normal and perfect sunday

Yesterday was a sunday. Most people love sundays and the reason is pretty obvious.....its a holiday for all offices at least in mumbai. Ok there may be a few exceptions......some nutters who love to work on sundays...but for others its a 'chillax' day. My sunday typically starts up with me getting up late.....My sunday morning alarm is my moms voice which sounds like the 'bhonga' which goes off at 0900 hrs in mumbai. Next comes the sunday cleanliness drive..........Both my dad and i used to think that company bosses are horrible......now we think better, when it comes to home matters mom is the 'horriblest' boss. On the sunnier side......lunch is always special on sundays at my place.....something different to eat.....courtesy mom who is a fantastic cook.....and she does like to reward our 'hard work' on sundays......After lunch a nice nap......after a bit of novel reading.........In the evenings i hang around with my friends.......maybe play a LAN game in the nearby gaming centre..........After that come home and snoooze some more till black monday arrives.......stupid of me that i posted the above crap on my blog but then i didnt know where to start.....

Why do i Blog?

A friend of mine recently told me that he has started blogging.......he invited me to view his blog. I kind of liked it. The idea of writing a blog is quite good actually...you get to sort of pour out your heart.....remove frustrations of the day. The observations made during the day, when written down, are quite interesting when you read them later sometime!!!! So i decided to start writing.......But the thing with the events that i write down, is that ill try to present them from a humorous point of view.........As they say....laughter is the best medicine.