A conversation:
Mom: Your cousin’s marriage is fixed on the 22nd Saturday!!!!
Me (Thinking): Shit!!!! She is going to tell me to come along!!! What a bore!!
Me (Aloud) : Which cousin, by the way?
Mom: Your cousin Ramesh. We will go by car. Dads coming as well.
Me: Who the hell is Ramesh? Is he my cousin?
Mom: Of course, you devil…..he is my second cousin’s third youngest son…
Me: Wat? And who is ur second cousin?
Mom: Shammi aunty, of course.
Me (Thinking): Who the hell is shammi aunty?
Me (Aloud): Sorry mom, cant make it…..I have some work.
Mom: But you have Satudays off at office? What work? You don’t work at home either? Then?
Me (Thinking): Shes right!!! Oh no!!! I have no excuse!!
Me (Now saying aloud): Actually I was planning to hang out with my friends…
Mom: You always hang out with your friends.. It wont matter if u come along with us for one day….to your cousins marriage…..
And then I have to drag along for some wedding of some unknown cousin of mine…..whom I have never met, never talked to and never even known his name till the point when mom told me. Weddings have always been boring for me…..I even think that I would get bored on my wedding day too!! Anyway, we reach the venue of the wedding and find someone who greets us at the gates. Someone in kurta who seems to know my mother and father both…..We get inside the wedding hall and sit in someplace. We watch the proceedings for some time….suddenly a fat looking lady appears and smiles at the 3 of us…Mom introduces me to her….she is ‘The shammi aunty’ mom has talked about. She sits down next to me and there is another conversation between us…
Shammi aunty: You have grown so much…!!!
Me (Thinking): Not as much as you have fatty!!!
Shammi aunty: You remember me? Of course, you wouldn’t…!!! You were so small then, I had taken you in my arms then……and u had done susu…!!!
Me (Thinking): BOY!!! I AM GRATEFUL AT MY BABY SELF FOR PEEING IN YOUR ARMS!!!!
Shammi aunty: Ok….have fun ‘young man’
Me (Thinking): ya right!!
Me (aloud): bye aunty!!!
Time drags by…..I keep watching my watch…..suddenly mom calls out from somewhere…..i look up to see her siting with a group of ladies whos ‘age group’ is same as moms……mom introduces me to these ladies…..One of them asks me…
Lady: What are you doing these days?
Me: Working for an engineering company.
Lady: Oh so you are an engineer!!! Great!! Job has started…great.!!! What is your age?
Me (While getting a hint as to which direction this talk is heading to!!): 24.
Lady: Mrs K your son is well settled now…..you should look out for a girl for him…..hehehehheheh!!! (All the ladies in that group start giggling like little braty girls starting a naughty plan)
Me (Thinking): Oh no!!! Do these people have no other job?
After this we meet the bride and the groom to give him gifts ( the bride and the groom both look tired…….they don’t seem to be enjoying their own wedding at all!!!) and later have lunch……and then finally it is time to go……When we are leaving we meet another lady……of my moms age….she is accompanied by a very pretty girl. The tragedy is that I have not seen a single good looking girl in the wedding as yet (as usual) I am looking at the girl when a sort of recognition dawns upon moms face and mom cries out….
Mom: oohhhhhhhhhh!!! Sujata !!!!!!
The lady: ooohhhhhhh!!!! Madhuri!!!!!
Both of them hug each other…..I wish I could grab the girl…the same way as these two did!
Mom: Sujata…..its been a long time!!! Its been like 10 years isnt it? We met at the 20th school reunion?
Sujata: Yes, I remember…..you have put on a lot of weight…..
Me (thinking): Oh good they are school classmates. That means the pretty girl must be her daughter!!! Great!!! Hope I get an intro………
Mom: Sujata let me introduce you to my son…Ravi and husband Mr. K.
Sujata: Hello Ravi, what are you doing these days…….?
Me (Thinking): Cmon aunty just introduce me to your daughter atleast….maybe ill get her email ID and stay in touch.
Me (Aloud): I am fine and …….blah blah….
Sujata: Oh I did not introduce her to you people (points at the pretty girl)
Me (Thinking): Yes!!! Finally!!!
Sujata: She is my daughter in law. My second sons wife…..My son is in the states and ….blah blah blah….
Me (Thinking): CRASH!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!!! Party’s over…..I am going home!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Saturday trip to Karnala
My friend ron was a bit worried on Friday……Ron, KC and I were to go Karnala on Saturday on our bikes (biking trip). Ron was worried because the last time we had planned a trip on Saturday on bikes……things had gone wrong…..reason being I had met with an accident on preceding Friday…….due to which my buddies had cancelled the trip. Anyway…..nothing happened to me this Friday…..the only accident I met with was seeing a beautiful girl in our locality !!!
We started off to Karnala at around 0830 hrs in the morning….everbody got up on time thankfully…..Filled our bikes’ tanks with petrol….and started off. KC and ron were on ron’s bike and I was alone on my bike……On the way we stopped at Shree Datta snacks corner in panvel…..and had wadapav and chaai. The advantage in going to Shree Datta snacks corner is that the food is good and there is a lot of candy for your eye too..!!! From there karnala is not much far off on the bombay goa highway….we reached karnala, KC bought the entry tickets at Rs 30 each and we parked our bikes near the rest houses some distance away from the entry gates. Karnala is, of course, a bird sanctuary but apart from that there is also a fort at karnala…We saw some unhappy looking birds in cages and then went on to climb the fort. Actually we came to Karnala for the sake of making a short trip by bike and to have some fun together. We started the climb which initially seemed to be quite ok, as usual, we were wrong!!! We took the harder route….the steep climb path….it turned out to be extremely steep…and as if that wasn’t hard enough there were patches where there was loose dirt and loose stones…..which made the climb difficult…..and so puffing and panting and slipping and sweating we finally reached a sort of plateau. We thought we had reached the fort but then in the distance saw that it was still some more way to go…..We decided to stop for some time on the plateau and return as it was already 1230 and our stomachs had started rumbling with the want of food. So we clicked some photos and started back….the descent seemed to be as difficult as the climb, it was very steep and we had to hold on to a branch of tree every time we gained ‘extra momentum’. KC was on flotters and this kind of footwear is guaranteed to give you that extra ‘slip’ (not the extra ‘grip!!), I was a bit afraid that he was behind me while descending….but then he was a bit afraid too because ron was behind him too!!! Luckily no one fell…… I nearly caused an injury however….I held one of the branches and swung on it while descending and then took my hands off it…..the branch…..swung back to its normal position…..where ron was standing!!!! It hit him on the head……not too hard however…..just enough to make me laugh at this incident!!! After this we started back on the highway. We stopped at the dhaba where I had stopped on New years night. We ordered food…..the old ‘kaka’ seemed to remember me…….he told me that he had seen me before…..was pretty much surprised at the old mans razor sharp memory!!! We ate channa masala and chicken sabji in the typical countryside gravy and 4 tandoori rotis each……all this while there were animals around us…..A dog, lots of hens and only one cock (lucky bastard!!). There was also a small kitten she seemed to be enjoying mewing at us and weaving in and out of the spaces between our feet…..Finally kaka picked up the kitten by the skin of her neck and threw her out like a rag!!!! After having our food and paying the bill (Only Rs 346!!!) we came back to vashi non stop, this time KC riding my bike….(he drove it faster and ‘incident free’). Came home and slept like a log only to wake up when the Electricity load shedding power cut started.!!!
We started off to Karnala at around 0830 hrs in the morning….everbody got up on time thankfully…..Filled our bikes’ tanks with petrol….and started off. KC and ron were on ron’s bike and I was alone on my bike……On the way we stopped at Shree Datta snacks corner in panvel…..and had wadapav and chaai. The advantage in going to Shree Datta snacks corner is that the food is good and there is a lot of candy for your eye too..!!! From there karnala is not much far off on the bombay goa highway….we reached karnala, KC bought the entry tickets at Rs 30 each and we parked our bikes near the rest houses some distance away from the entry gates. Karnala is, of course, a bird sanctuary but apart from that there is also a fort at karnala…We saw some unhappy looking birds in cages and then went on to climb the fort. Actually we came to Karnala for the sake of making a short trip by bike and to have some fun together. We started the climb which initially seemed to be quite ok, as usual, we were wrong!!! We took the harder route….the steep climb path….it turned out to be extremely steep…and as if that wasn’t hard enough there were patches where there was loose dirt and loose stones…..which made the climb difficult…..and so puffing and panting and slipping and sweating we finally reached a sort of plateau. We thought we had reached the fort but then in the distance saw that it was still some more way to go…..We decided to stop for some time on the plateau and return as it was already 1230 and our stomachs had started rumbling with the want of food. So we clicked some photos and started back….the descent seemed to be as difficult as the climb, it was very steep and we had to hold on to a branch of tree every time we gained ‘extra momentum’. KC was on flotters and this kind of footwear is guaranteed to give you that extra ‘slip’ (not the extra ‘grip!!), I was a bit afraid that he was behind me while descending….but then he was a bit afraid too because ron was behind him too!!! Luckily no one fell…… I nearly caused an injury however….I held one of the branches and swung on it while descending and then took my hands off it…..the branch…..swung back to its normal position…..where ron was standing!!!! It hit him on the head……not too hard however…..just enough to make me laugh at this incident!!! After this we started back on the highway. We stopped at the dhaba where I had stopped on New years night. We ordered food…..the old ‘kaka’ seemed to remember me…….he told me that he had seen me before…..was pretty much surprised at the old mans razor sharp memory!!! We ate channa masala and chicken sabji in the typical countryside gravy and 4 tandoori rotis each……all this while there were animals around us…..A dog, lots of hens and only one cock (lucky bastard!!). There was also a small kitten she seemed to be enjoying mewing at us and weaving in and out of the spaces between our feet…..Finally kaka picked up the kitten by the skin of her neck and threw her out like a rag!!!! After having our food and paying the bill (Only Rs 346!!!) we came back to vashi non stop, this time KC riding my bike….(he drove it faster and ‘incident free’). Came home and slept like a log only to wake up when the Electricity load shedding power cut started.!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A bond called friendship...
The journey of life till now has been pretty much good for me. I had my shares of ups and downs. Clashes between good times and bad times, times of frustration, times of satisfaction, times when I felt on top of the world, times when I felt I could never recover from a fall and so on and so forth. My friends (apart from my parents, of course) played a huge role. They were my support system, foundation pillars of a building called ‘ my life’. I am talking, of course, of my circle of some very good friends. We shared our best and worst times together. I remember those old times we played with each other, clapped each others hands in joy, shared our small joys and sorrows, maybe even cried when we were unhappy when we were younger. Lately it is more the company of each other that is important. All of us meet each other every day….in the same place…..near my building….and then go out somewhere……maybe catch a snack…….all the indian fast food…..Bhel puri and sev puri from the ‘Bhel wala Bhaiyaa’ , Veg toast sandwich from the local sandwich store…called ‘Gupta Sandwich’ etc. People ask me, “Why do you meet your friends every day? Its not that you hang out in some cool place or something, you just meet them every day and chat, arent you out of topics by now, what is the attraction in meeting them every day? Its not like you are meeting some lovely lady who is your ‘girlfriend’? You are just meeting boys….who are friends…..of course….but still everyday?” The answer to that question is simple and yet it is annoyingly complex in terms of the number of reasons…..I’ll give you the simple answer. The answer is that there are some matters which you can disclose only to your closest and best friends. Its that simple. Parents can be talked to freely, but even there, there is a limit to this ‘freeness’ which is not there with your best friends. (This can be vice versa too in some other matters). So the thing with friendship, is that it starts between people with some small common interest (like say, 2-3 boys who used to stay in the same colony and loved to play cricket in their younger days…..became friends!) and if nutured and cared for develops into a strong bond called ‘Friendship’. True friendship is that which remains intact, even after the times change, people change, conditions change…..even after you have a misunderstanding with your friend or after he or she has hurt you in some way, in fact, once it has been through all these phases it grows stronger. Till now, friendship for me has been laughter and jokes all the way…..we used to pull each others legs and laugh as hard as we could. It was ok at that time, but now things have changed, we are all older, into our early 20s and more mature, I used to feel sadened by this change a few months back , I used to feel we are losing the old times……but now I know that people have started speaking out their minds, their innermost thoughts in front of friends…..I have also come to realise that there are sensitive issues which shouldn’t be laughed at…even that is not allowed in true friendship. This has been hard learnt lesson for me……me, someone who adamantly refuses to believe that times change…..and its laughter all the way!!!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Rajnikanth.....the true and Indian superhero
Got to say that one of my favourite actors is Rajnikanth, the greatest megastar of the tamil movies. Of course, my definition of ‘favourite actor’ would mean that an actor whos acting and dramatics have made me laugh the most!!! (Not that I watched his tamil movies but the actions he displays in those films and in some hindi movies like chaalbaaz, Hum are awesome!!) I did a bit of background reading on Rajnikanth and found out that he was born on December 12, 1949, with the name Shivaji Rao Gaekwad. Earlier he earned his living by working as a bus conductor and then later on moved on to chennai to become an actor.
The thing about him is that he regularly bashes up the bad guys in the movies, that too with great style. This is something which makes me wonder that all the superheroes of the hollywood are nothing in front of our Rajnikanth……Presenting…….Rajnikanth vs the superheroes…….
Robocop Vs Rajnikanth
Imagine that Robocop is the villain.Robocop pulls off his gun and fires at Rajni. Rajni doesn’t even bother to get out of the way…..(he could have caught them with his hand of course!!). Those bullets don’t pierce his chest. He takes out a simple blade from his pocket…….throws it towards robocop…..then throws another blade towards the first blade…..the first blade splits into 2, the second blade splits into 2 pieces as well………2 of those pieces hit his arms and cut them off, the other 2 pieces cut off his legs and all 4 pieces boomerang and cut off his head!!! Robocop is finished…..the end.
Fantastic Four Vs Rajnikanth.
Mr Fantastic the rubber man stretches and winds himself around Rajni….Rajnikanth inhales in air….a lot of air…so much so that his body starts expanding and keeps on doing so until Mr Fantastic bursts into pieces……The invisible woman tries to kill Rajni with her force field…..but unfortunately she ‘falls’ for Rajni…the handsome fellow…..The human torch tries to burn Rajni….but Rajni just blows hard so that the flames are extinguished……Rajni counterattacks by throwing up his goggles…..the sunrays are focused thru his goggles on to the human torch and the human torch burns up…….As for ‘The thing’ it tries to punch Rajni in the face but Rajni simply blocks his attack, catches ‘the thing’ by the throat, waits for the goggles to fall back on his eyes(which he had thrown earlier to counterattack…..he threw it so hard that it is coming down now…!!!) and then punches ‘the thing’ so hard that ‘the thing’ is never seen on earth again…..the end…..of Fantastic Four. And Rajni laughs and says……char se bhale teen….teen se bhale do…….do se bhala yechk !!!
Classmate Vs Rajnikanth.
Imagine this…..when Rajnikanth was a young boy this is what would have happened……The class teacher asked Rajnikanth’s enemy classmate to say the alphabets from A to Z…..He said it in around 30 secs…Rajni was asked to do the same…..the teacher announced if Rajni could do it in less than 30 secs he would be given a prize…..Rajni was very clever…..but 30 secs could be very…..so he said the alphabets from A to G, then held up a glass of water and then continued from P to Z …..he did it in 15 seconds and won the prize……..dont ask me to explain why? If u do u have a very poor sense of PJ humor……
The thing about him is that he regularly bashes up the bad guys in the movies, that too with great style. This is something which makes me wonder that all the superheroes of the hollywood are nothing in front of our Rajnikanth……Presenting…….Rajnikanth vs the superheroes…….
Robocop Vs Rajnikanth
Imagine that Robocop is the villain.Robocop pulls off his gun and fires at Rajni. Rajni doesn’t even bother to get out of the way…..(he could have caught them with his hand of course!!). Those bullets don’t pierce his chest. He takes out a simple blade from his pocket…….throws it towards robocop…..then throws another blade towards the first blade…..the first blade splits into 2, the second blade splits into 2 pieces as well………2 of those pieces hit his arms and cut them off, the other 2 pieces cut off his legs and all 4 pieces boomerang and cut off his head!!! Robocop is finished…..the end.
Fantastic Four Vs Rajnikanth.
Mr Fantastic the rubber man stretches and winds himself around Rajni….Rajnikanth inhales in air….a lot of air…so much so that his body starts expanding and keeps on doing so until Mr Fantastic bursts into pieces……The invisible woman tries to kill Rajni with her force field…..but unfortunately she ‘falls’ for Rajni…the handsome fellow…..The human torch tries to burn Rajni….but Rajni just blows hard so that the flames are extinguished……Rajni counterattacks by throwing up his goggles…..the sunrays are focused thru his goggles on to the human torch and the human torch burns up…….As for ‘The thing’ it tries to punch Rajni in the face but Rajni simply blocks his attack, catches ‘the thing’ by the throat, waits for the goggles to fall back on his eyes(which he had thrown earlier to counterattack…..he threw it so hard that it is coming down now…!!!) and then punches ‘the thing’ so hard that ‘the thing’ is never seen on earth again…..the end…..of Fantastic Four. And Rajni laughs and says……char se bhale teen….teen se bhale do…….do se bhala yechk !!!
Classmate Vs Rajnikanth.
Imagine this…..when Rajnikanth was a young boy this is what would have happened……The class teacher asked Rajnikanth’s enemy classmate to say the alphabets from A to Z…..He said it in around 30 secs…Rajni was asked to do the same…..the teacher announced if Rajni could do it in less than 30 secs he would be given a prize…..Rajni was very clever…..but 30 secs could be very…..so he said the alphabets from A to G, then held up a glass of water and then continued from P to Z …..he did it in 15 seconds and won the prize……..dont ask me to explain why? If u do u have a very poor sense of PJ humor……
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