Erratic.

Dictionary definition of erratic: Lacking consistency, regularity, uniformity, having no fixed or regular course.

When you get in contact with an 'erratic person', there are likely to be some sparks. An erratic person can never be right, but the fact that he thinks that hes always right, makes him go horribly wrong. There is a distinct difference between the psycho and the erratic. A psycho is a psycho....the psycho has a medical condition. The erratic acts like a psycho, but has no history of any medical condition. An erratic may be familiar with the symptoms of a psychotic, but cant recognize that he shows the same symptoms.

Erratic behavior is one of the finest techniques of getting on to other people's nerves. It is one of the only 'offence mechanisms' of our body, in that it efficaciously maintains the erratic person's sanity and successfully drives the people around him crazy.

How to recognize an erratic person? Simple..........He'll do insane things, with no consideration for basic etiquettes. He'll not be bothered about what he is talking in front of anybody. He'll contradict himself every second sentence he says. He'll talk like he is alexander the great.

When he starts talking, you feel like you're listening to a radio which is receiving garbled frequencies.

People like that in high up positions are purely chickenshit.

xcuse me.

Always wondered why people say 'excuse me' after the sneeze. Does'nt make any difference if you say it later. But that's what we hear everyone do. Its because, sneezing is involuntary and it comes upon suddenly and once out, its a gun blast without a warning and hell, there isn't any point in saying 'Excuse me'. Rather 'sorry' seems to be correct. But most of us have a habit of saying 'excuse me' after you've blown the wind at 150KMPH.

A friend of mine says 'Excuse me' after he's sneezed. But its strange to hear a big guy like him making such a small sneezing sound. Its actually odd to hear that 'excuse me' when you havent even heard the sneeze itself !!! I once got myself out of his way when he said 'excuse me', thinking that he's having trouble getting past me !!!

A girl in our college class had a sneeze whose sound was midway between a rat squeaking and a lady shrieking when she spots the former.

My own loud sneeze had once scared my one year old niece so much so that her eyes went wide for a fraction of a second, then she started bawling on top of her voice and later we discovered that she'd wet herself !!! She gave terrified looks on seeing me for the next few days !!!

Then, there is the blaster.....the kind of one, one of our neighbour makes......makes your ears ring for a while. My great grand father had a sneeze like that too. My mom tells me that one day, when great grandpa sneezed, my uncle, upturned his eyes and fainted !!!

Strange post to write after so many days....??

Grooming.

Once my education was over, I started working (obviously!!). In school, my teachers, truly taught me, that is, I gained knowledge from them. They were good. I didnt think much of my college teachers. Indeed they were'nt that good either. All of them were just doing their jobs, standing in the classrooms and pointing at some odd figures on the board, explaining diagrams and all that. We, in turn were doing our jobs, keeping our attendance to the bare minimum required in order to pass the year. Teachers were more of a bother to us. We studied on our own, out of books, guides etc. When I took up a job in a company, young and fresh out of college, I had least expected anyone to 'teach' me. It was to be......... that way. They say that experience is the best teacher and so it is.

However, even after being through such 'What-is-a-teacher?' times, I still firmly believe that there should be someone to groom you, throughout your professional life.

There is a thin dividing line between teaching and grooming. When you are in a profession, you're already qualified to do the work and knowledge and experience teach you how to do it. But if you're groomed well, you actually do it with efficiency, quality and 'professionally' at the same level of experience and education.

Due to such limitations as time and manpower, we are plunged into the sea without really knowing how to handle the big waves characteristic of the high seas. All seniors and people in managerial positions seem to be having this attitude. Nothing better, than a kick in the ass of those pesky juniors, who come to us for every little thing. Let them learn for themselves. Throw them into important meetings, discussions with client. Let them sit there, alone and answer all the questions and load them with all possible work. Only then will they learn, how we do it.

I cant quite explain it to you, what I mean to say. But just think about the concept of grooming and you'll realise for yourself.

Crass, huh?

God help me. I think I am turning into an animal. Its not that I am sprouting horns or anything, its just that, I have become indifferent. I dont care much about people (except a few, of course), I dont care that they dont care about me. I am pretty nasty in my thoughts, 90 out of 100 times and dont quite hesitate to implement them. I dont mind it when people tell me bullshit, I am ready to hear whatever snide comments they pass as long as I get to return the favour. I derive a sadistic pleasure in backtalking, replying with a vengeance, raising my voice and yelling at people.

I frequently misunderstand innocence to stupidity, and thunder down upon those idiots. My vision doesnt let me differentiate between a driver with an 'L' plate or otherwise. I treat them all as equals and give them hell of a time anyway. I dont find old college photos nostalgic and think "What a horrible student I was" ,when I see them. I dont like romantic movies interesting and laugh upon those who watch them. I hate those kiddies song shows on TV and swear at those little twerps. I dont care about what you think about this post.

Crass, huh?

Queer?

It was raining yesterday, when I went out on a drive via an intercity road. I could see the mangroves along the shores, dark, bleak and the distant mountains pitch black and tall in the moonless and rainy night. Kind of reminded me of maku's village, where its pitch black at night, so dark, that if you hadnt had the god given body co-ordination, you wouldnt know whether the potato crisp you want to eat is going into the nose or the mouth.

He'd invited me there to his farmhouse. One of my friends (IAK) and I were to join him and his group of 2 cousins and a friend, who'd already reached.

Well ya, so we'd reached maku's farm house in the evening. His farmlands are situated right in the valley of the sahyadri mountain ranges. Its a picturesque place, especially in the monsoons with fields of paddy on one side and cloud covered mountains on the other. We had made plans to make a night trek and have our dinner in the mountain air. One of maku's uncle had prepared dinner and was going to be our 'local guide' to the way up to a clearing in the woods, where we would have our dinner. We packed the food, and started off, equipped with battery operated torches and a 'laalten' (A kerosene lamp). The moment we crossed the fence, it was obvious that we would have to stick together to avoid getting lost in the darkness. Maku's uncle leading the way, we passed through the fields, breathing the fresh and cool air. Thankfully, it was not raining at that time. We had a nice one hour trek to the place where we were supposed to be having dinner. We enjoyed our time up there. Maku's uncle downed a full 'desi' liquor bottle and rest of us contended ourselves with cold drinks. Maku's village has a lot of queer stories, the ones which are typical in an isolated village. These stories include ghost sightings, animal sightings and other such incidents. Panther and wild boar sightings are a common phenomenon there. Maku's uncle told us a lot of real life stories that night.

After stories and dinner, we started back. There was a small stream of water which we had to cross. Maku's uncle spotted two crabs in the water (not uncommon, there). He is known in the village to be an expert crab-catcher. True to his reputation, and that too after he'd downing half a bottle of liquor, he swooped his hands into the water and came up with the crab, which was struggling against his firm grip. All this was done in a flash of a second !!. He'd caught the crab between the shell and the pincers.

He took hold of a container and put the 'still struggling' crab inside it, closed the lid and handed the container to me. Thereafter, when I held the container, I could feel the crab knocking against the walls of the container !!!

He went after the second crab, which was crawling ahead with great speed. Uncle took one of maku's cousins along with him to hold the torch. He asked us to wait at the very spot. We saw them go along the stream a long way, and finally out of sight as the stream twisted and turned through the woods. After sometime, we started worrying about uncle and maku's cousin. Both were gone for a long time. We were stranded and couldnt move without our 'guide'. We started contemplating whether to go see where they had gone. I said "Guys, if it rains, we'll be soaked to our skin." My friend IAK responded by saying, "It didnt rain when we trekked up, nor did it rain when we ate our dinner, beneath the open sky, why now?".

A moment later, as if someone above had heard our conversation.............it started raining. We couldnt wait there now. There was no shade. Uncle had not come back. So we decided to follow the stream along which he and maku's cousin had gone. As we were walking along, we started calling them aloud. There was no response. After walking clumsily in the rocky bed of the stream, we came up to a point where the stream narrowed and it was covered with an arch of bushes, so that you couldnt see beyond. We must have shouted out for them 7-8 times from there and there was no response. Then suddenly, maku's cousin called back, "We're coming". And then they appeared, ducking under the bush-arch. They had finally caught the second crab too.

Later, when we reached his house, maku asked his uncle...."Where were you?". He said that he'd chased the crab for quite a long distance and had finally caught him just some distance away from the arch of bushes. Maku asked him why he did not answer to our calls. His cousin who was with his uncle told maku that they'd answered aloud the first time they heard his voice. Maku said that he'd called out several times near that bush there. But strange as it seems, maku's cousin and his uncle, heard our voices only once, even though both parties were near the bush.

It could be nothing but isn't it just worth noting that,

-Rains only started when maku's uncle disappeared, compelling us to go after him instead of waiting there as he had told us to? It wasnt raining throughout our excursion....and just started at that time? As a matter of fact, it did not rain again all night and even the next day?

-If we were around say just a few feet away from the bush arch and they were a few feet away too, only on the other side, where we couldnt see them, how could they have heard our voices only once when we yelled our throats out for around 2 minutes continuously?

Was it just be maku's drunk uncle and his non-drunk cousin lying? Or was it simply another one of those queer incident which happened there?

Independence day.

15th August is our Independence day. We celebrate the Independence of our country by exercising the following rights.............

Right to spit anywhere.

Right to throw rubbish outside the window of your car.

Right to use loudspeakers that create hell of a noise at any festival.

Right to put up large posters anywhere where it says 'Stick no bills'

Right to go at a red signal light.

Right to use the countryside as your urinal.

Right to write 'I love you' on the walls of famous monuments.

Right of doing wrong?

Khau galli and the stain on my shirt.

My friend R and I go out for lunchtime at a place called 'Khau galli'. Now, khau galli is not a very unique name and every 'galli' in India, where there are quite a few 'khaana stalls' with little seating arrangements is called a khau galli. The best part about such 'Khau gallis' is that you get a variety of foods.....and our 'KG' is no different. With the variety of foods, there seem to be a variety of germs. Hygiene is minimum and flies are maximum. Crows may fly and perch themselves on the table next to you and dogs might touch their noses to your feet, when you are sitting, enjoying the food. To counter all these 'anti-social elements' for customers, stall owners put a 'dhoop' or an essence stick on your table, which they think will drive the flies, crows and bees (did I mention bees? no I didnt, well, now I did) away. It definitely DOES NOT drive anything away. In fact, you spend half your time shooing the flies and the other half making the same shooing motion with your hands, only this time to drive away the oncoming vapours from the 'dhoop'. The flies, crows and bees have developed immunity towards 'dhoop' , same way as we have developed immunity against germs, eating the unhygienic food of KG.

My mom makes me a food tiffin and I take this along with me to KG. Here, outside food is allowed, if you place a small order. So, we go there in the afternoons to escape the air conditioned confines of our office and order something like buttermilk or something.

After lunch we have paan, at times. The other day, R and I ordered our custom paan........calcutta sadha paan, with chilkaa supaari and a dash of gulkand. The paanwalla folded the paan into a neat triangle and handed one to me. As I put it into my mouth, the gulkand dribbled out of the corner of the paan, right on to my favourite bright coloured white shirt with blue and yellow stripes. I was aghast !!! It was a huge blot of red guaranteed to leave a permanent stain (gulkand can leave permanent stains) . I applied some water to it and it was worse......it spread!!!. I had to go back to office wondering what to do. Everyone in the office kept staring at my shirt. I told anyone who would listen (no one did), that the boss had 'fired' me and so the blood. But only I managed to laugh valiantly at my own stupid joke. Later, I went to the washroom and put water on it again. When it dried off, I pinned my identity card on my collar end, so that it dangled on my right pocket and somewhat covered the major part of the stain. I hoped that there were no meetings that day and so lucky that there werent any.

Again, luckily, my mom managed to 'vanish' the stain. My favourite shirt is ready for use again.

Zindagi jeeni hai sahi

Is kadar bhid gaye zindagi ki daud se,

Ke jeene ka matlab bhool gaye,

Kinaare chod diye woh hasi ke,

Aur samundar jitne aasoo bhaaye.

Phool khilne ki khushi ko bhula diye,

Kaanto par hi chalte rahe,

Chod diye shital bhare saaye woh,

Dhoop se jal kar rakh hue.

Bachon ki woh masumiyaat,

Bhulaa kar to aarso beete,

Duniyaadaari ka sabak seekhte seekhte,

Insaan se jaanwar kab ban gaye?

Dil kaunsa aur pathar kaunsa,

Poocho khud ko, Farak hai yaa nahi?

Abhi bhi sawar sakte ho bande,

Zindagi jeeni hai sahi.

-By me (Asking for pardons.....just in some mood for poetics)

Exercising in a 'glassy' gym

Our gym is on the ground floor. It has a glass panel. It offers a nice view of the outside world. Trouble is....we are exposed to the 'outside world' too. Its one thing for us, to look at the beautiful skies from the inside. Quite startling to see people staring at us, while we are working out. In fact, I completely understand how animals in a zoo feel when they are being watched by humans, from outside the cage.

In fact, I can almost imagine people offering bits of crumbs of toast to us through the lower ventilation openings in the glass or lobbing biscuits over the upper louvers !!!

People watch curiously, others point rudely, still others laugh, some others stare with their mouths open staring at the pretty chicks on the treadmills and the stepper-cycle......you'll see all of those and still more outside 'open gyms'

While you might think its a bit absurd, having glass panels for the gym, gym owners think its great advertising. People come to know that there is a 'gym down there'. The 'pretty chicks' are crowd pullers for freaking desperadoes. Quite apart, you generally come to know about the equipment that's there in the gym. I know it sounds quite strange to those hard core weight training fans and body building purists, but the majority of Indians who go to classy gyms....check out the cardio equipment.....and you'll see that against the glass !!! (Of course, no one would keep weights near the glass....for fear of the weights breaking the glass and causing a nasty accident.).

Usernames, passwords, emails and chat IDs

The advent of internet and networking, brought the need to maintain online security and privacy of its users. Experts devised a simple way. The use of 'usernames' and 'passwords'. A username is nothing but an online name.....your intials, your name, first name initials, last name full and various such combinations. Password is a string of characters, which only the user is supposed to know. It could be a number, few alphabets or alphanumeric. Generally, the username becomes your email ID. E.g (username)@website.com. The username used in office is generally more or less fixed by your network administrator. But here I am talking of the one which we create ourselves, the one used on a public website.

I have observed that, at times, these usernames may well be an indication of the people whom they belong to. Middle aged aunties, who've just discovered how the net is used have a very straight forward username, probably followed by the year in which they have created the ID. Most probably, they'll keep the password same as the username, coz they might probably think that it would be better if its the same, so that they wont forget it. Fair enough......however they tend to forget their username as well !!!

At times, the username is same as the chat ID or vice versa. Young guys, who'd love to meet someone online in a chat room would have the typical 'macho' username or chat ID.

handsomehunk or muscleman or imyourman are common chat IDs. People who are willing to reveal their age (or fake it for obvious purposes) keep an 'asl' chat ID (age-sex-location..........the cool chat lingo) . For example, 18maledelhi.......... or a more 'sophisticated' one would be 21handsomemaledilli-6. They'll keep an age which, in their opinion would be the most attractive age to girls, even if they happen to be as old as 28 or as young as 15.

This is not an exception to girls...........sweet16goingon17 is an example of an 'oh-so-sassy' chat ID, guaranteed to pull all the boys of all the chat rooms of a public chat.

Coming back to usernames again, people who have an uncommon name can exercise the best option of a using the username, so that their email address becomes First name.Last name@website.com or firstnamelastname@website.com.

For those who have a common name, would find the above format is not available for them, as their are already people who have that name, and have already kept that email ID.

And so poor souls like my friend irfan, with names common with about a 1000 people in this world, go in for keeping an email ID, which also has their birthdate suffixed.

And for poor soulds like me, with a name common with about 10000 people in this world, go in for an email ID, which has their birthdate, month and maybe even birth year suffixed.

Cant say much about passwords, but a popular password is the name of a person suffixed with something like 123 or maybe their birthdates.

Believe me, its not easy to think up passwords, if your office server keeps asking you to change password on a quarterly basis........after all it cant be xyz123 all the time can it ???!!!

Tumbling like a pack of cards.

They've all been scurrying away, spreading in all directions, tumbling like a pack of cards, falling like dried leaves. Ain't talking about anything else but the people who've resigned from our department in our company in the last two months.

Job shifting is nothing new. People do it all the time. But its one thing for 1-2 people in a single department to go per year and something else when 8 people quit their job (all in a single department) in a space of 2 months.

When recession hit us hard, the people on contract were told to pack up. All others feared for the security of their jobs and even those of the dozy lot were seen working. The older 'so-many-years-in-company-no-one-tells-me-to-walk-off-even-if-I-have-coffee-all-the-time' were finally facing justice. It was'nt long before, people gave better performance for fear of being kicked out. Now that's what's called performance pressure !!

That was a year back. Slowly the market gained. Job availability is better now. And so people have quit !! In need of better jobs, in need of better packages, better work and best of all.....a better boss !!

Now that so many people have resigned, others in the department have started eyeing each other suspiciously. The 'are you quitting?' look has become most familiar. Lot of money is lost for contributions towards farewell gifts, farewell parties etc. And the trend of quitting has grown so exponentially that, I have started wondering whether I'll have to buy myself a farewell gift, if I dont quit soon, myself !!

Hello california again.

I left office and immediately had the feeling that there is a lot of packing left. Travelling to faraway places requires packing and no matter how well planned your 'packing schedule' it always leaves something to be desired, at the last moment. So as usual before I left home to catch the san francisco flight, there were a lot of things to be done, bought, and packed. My bag had been packed and repacked and rerepacked before finally leaving the house at around 10:30 PM. There wasnt much traffic on the road as a result of which we reached early, checked in early and got bored early sitting in the waiting lounge near the departure gate. Anyway, the airport is full of shops and eateries and I had a nice time watching expensive liquor bottles of the finest brands on display, chunky watches with prices so chunky they make you feel faint !! Finally the boarding announcement was made and we got into the flying machine. I had a window seat. No matter how many times, I have sat in a plane, I never fail to feel amazed at the size of the aircraft and at the fact that something this huge even flies at all !!!
The plane took off, the mumbai lights went smaller and smaller and finally disappeared. I mostly slept and ate through the first flight. An eventful flight it was. The landing was in foggy conditions and only when we were very close to the ground did I see the water of the south china sea. The landing was quite soft nevertheless.
At hong kong airport, we had starbucks coffee and me and dad had a great time doing some window shopping. The Hong Kong airport is huge and has a view of the airport runways, the sea and the Hong Kong city. I took videos of aeroplanes taking off and taxing. There was this sardarji who met us at the airport. He was going by the same flight that was taking us to san francisco. He was a religious preacher and the gurdwara committee in US had invited him to preach. He looked like a leader of the Akali Dal party and I came to know that this fellow had travelled to places like England and Canada and amazingly, did not know how to speak English. He knew only hindi. I filled up his emigration form for him during the second flight.
The second flight was as normal as the first one....except for the turbulence near Mt Fuji where the seat belt sign was turned on and remained on for atleast an hour. This was bad, as I needed to pee badly. After the seat belt sign finally turned off, I got up from my seat and immediately realised, I wasnt the only one with a full bladder. Lot of people wanted to pee, and it was another 15 minutes before I finally relieved myself having moved ahead in the queue!!!
I watched the hindi movie, 'blue' and slept. No one who has watched blue would have managed not to sleep after it !!
I listened to some music after that and played games on the entertainment centre. Like all of my home PCs, the entertainment centre produced a software error and crashed when I started a game !!! I called the attendant and he got it reset for me !!!
We landed in san francisco in bright sunshine and a pleasant 18 degrees celcius. The emigration interviewer asked me........
Interviewer: Why are you here?
Me: To visit my sister, she lives here in sunnyvale.
Interviewer: So what more are you going to do apart from visiting her? Sit home and watch TV?
Me: hahaha....no I am going for some sightseeing as well.....san fran and some other places like vegas mebbe.
He asked me some other routine questions as well and then stamped his emigration stamp on my US visa. We took our baggages and came out of the airport area. My sister was there to pick us up. The journey had ended well and apart from a huge nap in the afternoon there were no 'jet lag' effects.
We celebrated my niece's first birthday with a small function on the 18th April where I met many of my sister and her husband's colleagues and friends. They are very nice people.
Right now, we are planning our sightseeing schedule. I have been out on the bicycle to some local stores and am having fun playing with my one year old niece. Will keep updated.

Pyramids of Giza.

Sheaves of papers, minarets of memos, leaning towers of files and huge piles of product catalogues make up a cluttered office desk. It adds importance to your repute in the office. People start thinking you work a lot and if you add a coffee mug to your desk 'decor' and have swollen eyes, people take their hats off to 'the man who shoulders the responsibility of the world'.

But cluttered desks are actually a nuisance to others.

You approach your boss and ask him for some important papers and he points to a small 'pyramid' on his desk and says, "Its somewhere there.You'll just need to search a bit." That 'searching a bit' is equivalent to searching for a needle in the haystack. You approach the misorganized 'tomb of khufu' and slowly as you come nearer you marvel at its precise balance, the haphazard, yet perfectly sound structure and, long gone, is your faith in the laws of gravity !!! You put your hand on what could be an engineering marvel and it comes crashing down and your boss yells...."Lousy careless bugger.....Be a bit more careful will you?"

You eat the words....after all, he is your boss....and he has so carefully 'constructed' the genius creation you just destroyed !!

Ironic to your situation, the creator of the 'tomb of khufu' is able to find the paper as well as remove it from the pile without disturbing the earlier arrangement. This makes you wonder whether you have a set of the worlds most careless pair of hands or your boss is a goddamn lucky bastard that he removed the papers without disturbing any other damn paper.

Cluttered desks are good when it comes to giving excuses. "Oh, its better you take a copy of the memo from xyz. There is no way we'll find it in this mess" or

"Hey, dont disturb me right now, see how busy I am, all this paperwork and nobody files these papers."

If someone of this sort tells me that he's going on leave and that I'll find all the relevant papers on his desk........I'll be off on leave as well.

Wondering whether I should vote this year?

Elections for the 'nagar sevak' or corporator are just around the corner and campaigning is in full swing. The other day, the doorbell rang. The music was playing and no one was at home and ,swinging the steps in line with the music, I opened the door. There was a big crowd outside my house and all had worn white clothes and colourful scarves. The man up ahead was a big hulking figure with a large belly that seemed to be a 'beered' one (beer belly). 'Namaskar, me xyz, aaple aashirwad pahijet, hyaa varshi amhaalach safal kara, mat dyaa, kalyan kara' (Namaskar, I am xyz, give us your blessings, make us successful this year !!). I stood there for a minute in my half chaddis, wondering what he had said. Then I realised that it was election time and this fellow was a candidate....the 'aashirwad' mentioned was my vote and safalta (success) meant his victory.

These people take their large crowd from house to house asking for 'aashirwads'.

All candidates have set up stalls locally, with huge banners on them with their own stupid photos smiling on them. Party names have been displayed. They take up a sort of rally everyday, with their supporters shouting victory slogans and cheering their candidates. They look like a real angry mob approaching and an outsider would start wondering whether he should take cover. They burst firecrackers as they go and shout on top of their voices. They annoy you with the noise they create and you start cursing them and make vows to yourself not to vote for the candidate who creates noise. But all of them do and you start thinking that mebbe voting for any of them at all, is a bad idea. Most of us don't know what work any of them have done and, the heck.....there's no way of finding out. All politicians make promises and never keep them and that is the universal truth.

I wonder whether I should vote this year at all?

IPL

The IPL match was certainly an experience, whatever people say about it being hot in the stadium, not getting the required views like the TV camera does, and not being able to see the ball from a distance. I can tell you, after watching one IPL match, that whatever be it.....you have to go to a stadium to watch a cricket match....just for the atmosphere..!! Its best when you have a huge group.

So irfi having booked the tickets for the IPL, we were off on Sunday to the DY Patil stadium...me, irfi, chakot and two of irfi's friends....avinash and govind. We took my car as there were 5 of us and left 1 and a half hour early for getting a good parking spot. As we reached Nerul, we realised that everybody had the same idea (obviously !!). So after a zillion turns and trillion lanes, we finally found a parking space and believe me........ we were lucky to have got a parking space at all. And then it was a short trek to the gates, through big crowds.....it looked like the whole world had come to watch the match. Irfi being the tallest was ahead and we were following him. Usually I am not easily visible among crowds....height being less.....but none of the 5 wanted me out of their sight, coz it was my car they had come in and my car they would ride home in !!

So having stood in a queue for sometime, we made our way inside. (which we had to make sure was a queue to the gates !!)

Having found our seats, we sat and the match began in a few moments.

Roars from the crowd as Sachin walked up to the pitch, swinging his arms, warming up. Sachin gets the loudest cheer, when he walks, talks to the umpire, when he is batting, adjusting his groin guard, signalling the third man for a change of gloves......in fact he would get a cheer in DY Patil stadium even if he is not playing in the match !! Thats 'the' awe-inspiring Sachin Tendulkar for you !!

And for crowds in India....Symonds is a universal target for jeering......

"Hum sab ke neeche kaun? Symonds.......... Symonds.........." And I dont need to explain the meaning of that to you.

Sachin played some swashbuckling shots,. He was hitting the ball so easily, it was as if he was playing with a rubber ball!!

Meanwhile there was this fellow in the crowds in front of us who was standing up just when the ball was being bowled...After being told off many a times by all 5 of us....he kept doing it.

Finally, Avinash cracked, jumped off his seat, nudged him and said "Arre khaali bas naa saalyaa, ball taaktaanaa tari, saalya pahilyandi aala kaa match baghayala?" (Now saalya, saala, saale is universal. Rest of the translation of the marathi statement is ...."Sit when the ball is being bowled atleast. Have you come to watch the match for the first time?." ) Now this was saying something, as Avinash had come to watch the match for the first time too!!!

Avinash and that fellow had some bitter exchanges, but soon a policeman walked up and asked both of them to calm down and told the man to be seated. Avinash outbreak was effective as the man did not get up again to even celebrate and cheer with the crowd!!!

Mexican waves were being made and every time a six or a four was hit by the mumbai indians the roar of the crowd would be deafening. The sexy cheerleaders were cheering and the crowd danced with them.

The middle 10 overs were boring and we thought Mumbai Indians were playing slowly and would face a huge defeat. But the last five overs were very exciting as harbhajan played a swashbuckling innings. Crowds cheered him loudly, if possible the loudest (as with tendulkar).Mumbai Indians made 171/7 as a total score.

We rarely thought about food during the match but those dominoes and macdonalds guys kept carrying their food items and tempting me.....but we had decided to have dinner later.

The deccan chargers made a weak start and they lost gilchrist early. No one really played an innings like Bhajji that day....

I remember Gibbs hitting a couple of fours which were really great to watch. But not as great as it was to watch Bhajji and Tendulkar.

The Deccan chargers buckled out for 131....thanks to some fine bowling by the likes of Zaheer, Malinga and.......... bhajji, once again spinning the way to victory.

We had work to do.....and that was getting to the parking through the huge crowds. We had dinner in Hotel Bhagat tarachand and it seemed like there were only people from the IPL match crowd who had come to eat at that place !!

Night-outs

Could'nt really bring myself to write down anything in the new year really. Managing the house alone really overburdens a carefree, innocent and creative mind like mine (ahem !!!) . No doubt, there is the independence of operating alone, being the boss and having a gala time. But then its a dud doing all the house work, which is normally taken for granted by us, due to the presence of a certain demigod, called 'mom'.

Well, anyway, when I was younger (a bit younger than I am now.), being alone in the house meant a party at night, at my place. We used to call these overnight stays as 'night-outs'. No one in the house....mom dad gone for some work...it used to be a perfect setting for a night time party at my place. KC, me, laal, irfi, oneil, abhi, dinesh, makarand, chakot........jitik sometimes. Laal and KC used to pick up some cold drinks (no hard liquor in the house), irfi used to bring down a movie CD. Abhi used to tell us that he would come 'shayad'.....dinesh made one or two appearances, oneil was there most of the times and he was my laughing partner

Chakot used to come late (as usual). He used to bring nothing except a sleepy face. Jitik used to come....and it was a wonder when he did.....coz he normally did not. (God knows why?)

The night used to begin at my place after dinner, which we had outside or each had dinner at home or something. The cold drink bottles were out and Irfi's movie CDs were played. We watched them. And no matter how serious the movie was, we always managed to laugh...with one thing or another. We even watched movies like 'omen' and laughed them out !!!

If you asked me...how could you laugh at a serious movie? I would say that, leave it....you would never understand !!!

After this some people would drop off to sleep.....but sleeping wasnt allowed on a night out.....so we would hit these 'sleeperzzz' with pillows, pinch them hard, sit on them or they would receive a mass 'punch fest' !!

We also watched crazy regional movies....which had some hilariously ridiculously unreal and unimaginable scenes...which had us rolling on our sides with laughter.....

It is 'seriously funny' to see a hero on a bike jump into the back of a tempo truck and turn out from the windshield from the other side !!! Or to see a hero somersault from the first floor to the ground floor of a building and then take a back somersault and again land on the second floor !!! Or a japanese martial art expert balance on bamboos and still manage to fight the enemy!!

The hours passed by, and at around 4 am all of us used to hungry....so we used to cook some 'egg bhurji' and enjoy eating it !! Or we used to go out to have the same (Bhurji business is maximum in the early mornings!)

Occasionally, we used to have very serious chats on topics of interest. Used to be fun all the same.

All those times have passed. Its nothing great to be alone at home....its not an occasion...its just ok.

Many of my friends have gone to faraway places to work.

Ultimately, what will remain is memories of these crazy, enjoyable 'night outs'. !!

Appreciation? what's that?

The value of appreciation......

Rarely are we appreciated.....in the company we work for.....for the work we do, for the jobs we have completed, for the problems we have solved, for the positive outcomes inspite of the infavourable conditions.

Its just that we get used to living with the thanklessness.

Money is the appreciation. And every service class man realises this within the first year of his very first job. Think about it the other way. Would you have just the appreciation part of it and not the money? Nope. Nobody would like that, would they?

Plane class.

Ok. So we are busy and all that, both of us (me and dad) with office work and everything. But both of us made it a point to look out for international flight fares to my sister's place. Travelling to a faraway country requires money....a lot of it. And it requires middle class people like us to do a bit of a research on the cheapest flight fares. I always thought that 'economy' class is a great way of saying 'the lowest possible class' in an airplane. And although it isn't quite 'economical' for us poor dingos to travel by 'economy' its always a better way to call it 'economy' as opposed to a commonplace and banal sounding 'second class' or 'third class' in trains !!!

'First class' does'nt sound that great either. But as per my knowledge its the best in both trains and planes (correct me if I'm wrong). Business class sounds truly classy. I can almost picture people sitting in business suits, travelling in style. But again, my knowledge tells me that business class is below first class in an airplane. No one's heard of a business class in trains and the only guy who would be wearing blazers in the train (most of the times) is the TC. There are some other classes like premium class and other show - shine names that airline companies have given but strictly speaking, nobody travels like the President of the United states or a sheikh from Qatar. I've heard of a term called 'cattle class' in planes. Made me think whether booking a cattle class ticket gives you a license to sit amongst mooing cows or bleating sheep?

Apparently, no. Cattle class is just another name for the poor old economy class.

Talking about seats, in international flights, never take a front row seat in any section of the plane....coz you might be near a baby bassinet.............and god save you if the baby in the baby bassinet starts bawling at the top of its voice, acting like a monster. People with long legs have good leg room if they take a front seat.....compensation....they might have to stuff their ears for fear of noise pollution of the baby bawls !! And, if you think baby bawls are bad.....the extreme back seats are worst.....coz there it is the air pollution which will kill you, in a long distance flight.

I always find that the window seat behind the wing is the best. I love that place.

Darling, we're the young ones.

Live the freedom, sing in the rain,

Feel the passion, Love the pain,

Dance on a tune, act like a fool,

Spend on a whim, its so cool,

Fight the fire, play with the flame,

Take the lead ,get on with the game.

Hard as a diamond, tough as a rock,

Fit as a fiddle, round the clock.

Days pass on, you never cry,

Whatever happens, it passes by,

This is the feeling, this is the fun,

This is the life of a young one.

-By me.

No work

In times of recession when professionals sit idle in office, there starts a trend of introducing what higher management calls 'development activities' and I call as 'useless games'. Reviews, safety seminars, technical seminars, leadership and management seminars, vendor seminars etc, are all a part of this plot.

Also, at such times, its interesting to see even the people higher up, going deeper down in the roots of superficial problems which otherwise are solved in a jiffy, without being fussed over. But the times are bad, and everyone needs an activity, and jumping on even a minor problem gives them a feeling of having done something. And so, start the 'tamashas', people yell over petty issues, take a bite at others, scramble like rats and blow up the whole issue into one big volcano.

Unrest is natural amongst all who are suffering woes having no work, but making a lot of noise, or making a mountain of a molehill gives some a feeling of importance which they miss in such times.

Believe me, its no fun going to a place where there is no work.....no work at all. Some rest in between is alright, but no work at all is bad, very bad. There are some who disagree, they say its good fun....no work and salary all the same. I beg to differ.

Dark times shall pass.

Itna kyun darta hai saaye se,

Saaya to deta hai saath....

Parchaayee ka andhera chaaye to kyaa hua...

Dooji taraf to kirano kaa bhi haath...

Kyun darta hai andhere se...

Andhera to aana hi hai...

Chalta nahi woh pura kaal,

Waqt do, usse jaana hi hai...

Darta kyaa hai kaale badalo se..

Dete woh hume paani...

Sarwaswi dekar apna balidaan,

Dharti khilaate hai saari...

Kyun darta hai Bhavishya se,

Ek din to aata hi hai...

Sukh se ya dukh se jaaye kyaa,

Usse bhi bhoot banaa hi hai..

Darta kyaa hai bhoot se,

Soch ki woh mayajaal,

Bhavishya ki chintaa to kar hi mat,

Apna vartaman sambhaal.

-by me.

The adventure of bargaining.

Bargaining is a part of shopping. Its a kind of victory that kicks the heart of a true shopper. And while these are the days of chain stores, fixed price tags and forever 'sale' strategies, hard true bargainers don't come off without trying. Just take an incident for instance. One of my relatives picked out around half a dozen books after half a dozen rounds in the book store spending half an hour there. After carefully picking out the books that he wanted....he asked the cashier fellow to bill it....and asked for a discount. The cashier replied by saying that the rates are fixed. So my relative left the store empty handed and asked some of his 'contacts' in pune to check whether a discount was available in one of pune's leading book store for the same books (he had memorized their titles). Now, going by the price tags of the books....I dont think it was quite worth it to spend that much time and energy.

Time....for the two trips we made to the store....once when he picked out those books for the first time and next when we came back to really buy those books, once he found out that his contacts in pune, too, could'nt get a discount on those same books!!

Energy....the car fuel we wasted in making two trips to the store + fuel in his contact's car for making their trips to the store.

So much for bargain !!!

With most bargainers there is a trend in bargaining.........Shopkeeper quotes the price......Hard bargainer makes a disbelieving face or a disbelieving noise or both......he / she says "Kuch bhi, barabar price bataana" (Tell the correct price). Shopkeeper goes on telling the customer how good the item is and how he wouldnt get the same quality item anywhere else in this world.

On which the customer replies...."Yeda mat bana.....baaju waale dukaan me same cheez kam price mein mil rahi hai.....main tumhare yahaan bahut saal se shopping kar raha hu....to barabar daam bolna...mein tumhara purana customer hu " (Dont fool me, the same item is available in the next store at a lower price....I have been shopping at your place for quite sometime now....so tell me the correct price for old times sake.) Finally after a lot of haggling....the customer and the shopkeeper settle down to a price which is round about a mean value of both parties' respective quotes. The shopkeeper puts up a show....his tone suggesting that 'these days we get fooled by customers'. However in reality he is happy with the deal as his margin is quite what he had expected !. The customer in turn after a happy bargaining 'stint' puts up his own show...where he grumbles about how things are getting expensive these days and that shopkeepers have turned out to be 'highway robbers'. In reality he is happy to have got a great deal or definitely happy by the sense of achievement given by bargaining !!

I remember some years ago...we used to bargain at fashion street in mumbai. When a shopkeeper quoted a price....we used to say to him "Itne mein dena hai to do." If he said no.....we used to walk on ahead...and many a times he would chase you...and say "Le lo saahab....aapke bataye hue daam par hi deta hu, chalo !!" We used to buy the item, then

There is a kind of adventure in bargaining which gives shoppers a high...From 'roj ki sabji' to expensive home appliances....bargaining rules. It adds an extra element to the shoppers delight !!

A difference in the lifestyles.

When I wanted a bon-fire lit up, I started searching for wood. The cold weather was just right to light up a bonfire, feel its warmth and hear its crackle. It was night time, around 10:30 PM and the night was getting real chilled up. I could hear the crickets making a racket and looked up at the stars. The air is so pure at my grandpa's farmhouse, it makes you feel like you're breathing life after living in a gas chamber city for a long time.

So anyway, I was just wondering where the farmhand could be, when I realised that he must be fast asleep.....it must be midnight for him. I didnt wake him up....I knew his lifestyle and he slept early and got up early as well.

For people living here (like the farmhand), life is very simple.....Sleep early at around 9 o'clock.....get up at 0530 hrs fresh after a great sleep.....go out to work on the farmland.....have something to eat in between.....work again.....lunch at around 12:30 noon.....then a power nap....work again till around 6 in the evening until the time it starts becoming dark.......dinner at 8 o'clock and then sleep at 9. Its a simple lifestyle.

Eat simple food of bhakris, chappatis and sabjis and rice.....breathe in pure air, live in the vast open space and have no fantastic desires....

For the average service class man in the city.....its something like this.....Sleep late at around 12 AM or probably next morning......get up all drowsy due to lack of sleep....a hurried breakfast......off to work....probably after travelling by local transport or through crowded roads...reach office....lunch at around 1, 1:30, 2 or mebbe just a hurried meal.....after this you'll feel drowsy again....but cant sleep....so drink tea or coffee twice or thrice....work around till 7:30 or 8:00 or even later.....then start off home....till the time you reach home.....ur bushed...Have a quiet dinner......watch TV or surf the net later on in your 'free time' for 'relaxation'. Sleep

Eating outside food is a must at times.....breathing polluted air is a norm, living in the vast expanse of the cement jungle is part of life........there is a lot of money and yet no one is satisfied...there are still those fantastic desires....there are a lot of facilities for easy living and yet life is tougher.........

I aint saying which is better.....its just a comparison.....a comparison between two totally different lifestyles.....

Money.

The days are long gone when man used to be satisfied in being self reliant in terms of food, shelter and clothing. Long ago there was something invented which would change the face of human nature forever. No one then could have ever judged the power of that rectangular piece of paper which is today known as money !!

-By me.

Valentines day.

As if I have'nt had enough of bad times currently, ebay sent me one of their regular update emails with the following subject line.....'Get free gifts for yourself this Valentine's'. The more I try to forget that stupid day when everyone has someone to gift something to.......the more I get reminded of it by these stoopid mails. I mean how can you remind someone so harshly....by saying......get free gifts for yourself on valentine's?
But then I thought, its indeed a great idea.....I mean what the heck.....who wants a girlfriend anyway......I love myself and I'll get myself a gift on valentine's day.

Boo to ebay and hurrah to ebay !!!

The old teak wood table.

There was an old teak wood table at my house. Send it to another place. Normally, I aint fussy about parting with old furniture, but I cant help but remember this piece of furniture. Me and my sister were both toddlers, when my mom had this study table delivered to my place. The study table had been made by a carpenter, back when mom was a toddler !!! Old teak furniture remains solid as a rock. So anyway, grandpa (mom's dad) sent it over to our house. Both me and my sister were waiting for the table to come and when the transport wala finally brought it, our joy knew no bounds !!! We were getting our very own table !! Joy lies in small things when you are young and I remember we could not eat for excitement !! Now this study table has a joint cabinet with two compartments and an open one. Mom alloted the lower compartment to me and gave my sister the upper one. We neatly stacked our books in that space like good children. Homework was a joy that day and each one took turns doing it on the table. Here, I must mention that along with the table there was a teak wood chair. It so happened that I had to take several pillows beneath my bums, so that I could reach the table !!

The table had multiple uses, of course.........the open space beneath the table (near the leg rest) was our best 'playspace'. My sister and I propped up a blanket which fell down so as to cover the space. This was our 'tent' or 'home'. The game of 'house' came to an end very late when mom finally shooed us to go for a bath on weekend school holidays !!!

The table was also a place to pile up books.....much to my mom's chagrin, who's a strict advocate of putting things in their proper places.

I cant say that for me, the purpose of studying on the table, was served anytime. I seemed to think that the chair was too stiff backed and I couldnt quite accept the fact that mom seemed to think that I was a lazy boy who loved to lie down and read his books (eventually falling asleep !!).

Anyway, I never studied on the table as much as my sister did. In fact, we can even leave the 'on the table' part of the earlier statement. (I never studied as much as my sister did !!! Let alone on the table !!)

There was a glass on top of the table. We used to slide photographs under the glass. Old photos, new ones and make a collage.

Hope it'll serve many more generations to come !!

For facts, I know that they dont make 'solid wood' furniture these days. If you knock it.....it makes a hollow sound !!!

If you'd ever tap on the surface of this one.....its like knocking on a rock !!