Trouble usually finds me...

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me." 

Harry Potter says to his friend Hermione Granger, when the latter asks him to be more careful and not to go looking for trouble. 

It seems strange that I find that the above statement is many a times true for me as well. No one wants to go looking for trouble, usually (unless you are trouble happy or something) But it seems to find them. I wont kid anyone.......By nature, I am a very sweet person (Cough, and smirk all you want, all those ye who know me, but that is how I am) but then I do get these reckless moods at times when I am totally off my character!!! Even then, I feel, that everyone gets these moods....maybe some people are reckless by nature and even then do not get into trouble.   

"We dont work this way, Son!!!"

Consultants or consulting companies are knowledge based. The measure of a good consultant is by the knowledge he has in his field of expertise. If an end user firm is planning to hire a consulting company to do its job it has to make sure that management from its side is experienced, tough, intimidating and is able to handle the people of the consulting company, who in turn are bound to think that, knowledge-wise, they are a cut above their client. In short, client project manager should have good management skills so that he can derive desired results from a bunch of bloat heads. 

Early in my consulting company career life  (Its not that I'm an old man now.....but right now much more work experienced than I was then)  I worked with such a project manager. He was working on extention duty in the client's company. Being highly experienced he was assigned as the project manager of that particular project. I remember him bustling around the office corridors with the energy of a horse. Slim, fit looking and a sort of radiance on his face is how I would describe him (I have observed that, any man who gets to yell at 10 different people a day has a 'radiant face'!!!)  He used to be on his toes and used to keep people on theirs too. He was given a tight schedule of around 1 year to complete the project, and such was his 'power' that he managed to get it done in a span of 8 months!!! He was an expert at commercial negotiations with vendors, he used to participate in them, himself and take command from the commercial group people......Every time a vendor tried to quote a very high price......he would somehow convince them to quote lower and bring their pricing down. A vendor once quoted a delivery schedule of 24 weeks, to which Mr. N (I'll call him that) replied "20 weeks and thats final, I am 68 years old now, I am getting older, I arent sure if I can make it till 24 weeks!!!" The vendor was down to 22 weeks in the next 15 minutes of discussion.  

He was a good observer too. When I first sat for a commercial discussion meeting, I was quite nervous.....there were a lot of bigwigs from the client's side, vendor's side and I was sitting in the meeting in the capacity of an engineer who had technically evaluated and accepted the vendor's offer. He noticed this and voiced his opinion in front of everyone......"Dont be nervous young man, I ain't gonna eat you." 

He had once told a vendor, "Mr. R, you look quite good with that scar on your neck, so please quote a good price!!!" (There was actually no relation between the good looks and the good price, but then Mr. N was an eccentric old man....he must have been under the impression that he was cracking a good joke!!!)

'Young man' and 'Son' were his favourite words. He used to throw them around with the air of a ship's captain addressing a newly inducted midshipman on a frigate.

"Son, why are you taking so much time for this evaluatation?" he asked. "Sir, I need a written confirmation from the vendor. He's not replying to my email since the past 2 days" I said. 

"Son, I have worked in this bloody business for 30 years......we ask for confirmations across the table, in my company, why do you want it thru email? Call him today, record the minutes of that meeting, ask him to sign it. If he doesnt come, reject his offer, we have many more vendors willing to take the offers, is that clear?" he said. "Crystal." I replied. 

 I once made a very bad technical error. The gravity of the error was such that he called me personally to his cabin (he was given a temporary cabin in our company, so that he could personally interact with our people, on a day to day basis) ....."How long have you been working in this company, young man?" he yelled the minute I entered. "Since the past 8 months, sir" I replied (I was a trainee then). He stopped for a moment and told me "That figures why you made a mistake. Sorry, I yelled that way. Its ok, we'll rectify the error somehow, I probably didnt know where my office's washroom was when I was at your level of experience." 

The project was completed in a span of 8 months (engineering phase) as I mentioned earlier and the plant was commissioned after the next 3 months. Wont ever forget Mr. N's very powerful personality, though. He is something I would like to be when I am older......maybe not that eccentric or blunt, but yes, something of that sort.  

TV at its best.

Was watching 'The wonder years' today. Must say it was a great series. Had watched it when it used to be aired on Star Plus (Star Plus of those days was a 100 times better and a 1000 times watchable, all mothers would disagree!!!). The best part about the series was that you could relate your own feelings and incidents to those that were a part of Kevin Arnold's life (A bit different, as I didnt have a pretty girlfriend like 'Winnie Cooper'!!!). So I remember being glued to the television with my sister who loved the series as much as I did.

Another one was 'Full House' in which characters like DJ, Stephenie, cute little michelle, their father (played by Bob Saget), Joey, Jesse and Rebecca (Wow!!) provided us with the family entertainment.

I am a fan of FRIENDS. Dont need to say much about it. Almost every average teenager or adult who watches TV must have watched FRIENDS. Joey Tribianni was my favourite character in it.

Apart from this i remember watching cartoon series like He-man, Centurions, Johny Quest, Speed Racer, Ducktales, Talespin. There was also a series which used to be aired on DD. It was called 'Giant Robot'.

Among hindi ones......Dekh bhai dekh and Zabaan Sambhal ke.

And if there is something I would always enjoy watching..........it would be 'Tom and Jerry'..............it defeats all!!!

Superstitions.

Mom: Let me tell you about a strange incident......funny how people's minds work at times!!
Me: Ya....tell me....what happened?
Mom: There was this time when your aunt (distant aunt), had a dream......she dreamed that she was praying in front of a ganapati idol.
Me: Ok, then?
Mom: She got up in the morning and ur aunt and uncle decided to go to Wai (Wai is a place which is near satara district of maharashtra. There is a big idol of ganapati there.). They both left on ur uncle's motorbike and went to Wai.
Me: What? Just because she had a dream?
Mom: Yes. Dont know what made them do it.....but they just got up the next day and were off to Wai, your uncle even took a day off at the office.
Me: Hahahaha!!! That's funny.
Mom: If thats funny.......you hear this out.....your sides'll probably split once i complete the story...
Me: What more?
Mom: Well they went to the temple at Wai.....took 'darshan'. On seeing the idol ur aunt realised that it wasnt the one that appeared in her dreams.
Me: Huh? So? She had gone there to confirm that it was the same idol?
Mom: I dont know......but all the same i feel that what they did was either very superstitious or completely idiotic.
Me: Hahahahahahaha!!!! Imagine if the idol she saw in her dreams was of the mandir they have near to their house!!! Such a waste of time, energy and petrol!!! hahahahaha!!!

What do you call this? Height of idiocy or height of superstition?
I dreamt yesterday that I went to meet this uncle and aunt of mine , but i didnt go there today........for the fear that i might burst out laughing in front of them.

The man who taught me how to drive!!!

Writing about another character in life who has influenced me. He was very much like my dad in the sense that he too like my dad, gave me instructions while driving a car!!! This is because, that person, was the one who taught me how to drive a car. I am writing about my car driving school instructor!!! A man by the name of 'Shiekh'. Tall fellow, and quite broad too. In fact he was so much of both length and breadth that he seemed to almost pop out from the small maruti car I was trained in. When he sat down in the car it used to 'shake', hence the name 'shiekh' (bad joke, a thousand pardons!!) His style of teaching was different.....he did not take you on the most 'low traffic' roads, even on your first day. He took you on roads which were medium crowded. He hated impudent ladies both on the road and on the drivers seat. He used to particularly hate the lady who was before me on the training schedule. Used to say....."She's a dimwit...Shows the right indicator while turning left and she's slightly confused on the 'keep left' rules."
"You are the best trainee i ever had", he used to say to me (Later on i learnt that he said this to everyone...except the ladies.......it did give the nervous driver the much required encouragement and the confidence to learn the ropes.)
When anyone got in the way of that small maruti car......he used to hurl the choicest of abuses at them......
Then i was terrified of driving in traffic (who isnt? at least initially everyone is...). I remember telling him that i was afraid that i would hurt someone by knocking them over...!!! Next day he took me on to the most crowded road in the city and told me to drive at the speed of 70 Km/hr.....I did as he told me to.....and he kept applying his pair of brakes wherever necessary.......as we came to the end of the road.....he asked me...."Did you knock down anyone?"
"No" I said.......so he says..."See there's nothing to be afraid of!!!"
Thats because you applied the brakes when required, wise guy, I had thought.......but then i realised that.....the fear of knocking someone had somewhat subsided........(It had been overcome by the fear of getting knocked over by a stupid maniac in a maruti car!!!!)
On the day of the driving test.....he had come with me ....and seemed to know everyone in the RTO office!!! Thats how everyone passes the test in India!!! I passed too. Today, Whatever little I know about driving a car is due to 'shiekh' and of course my dad!!!

National spillage day..

Today (as everyday) the canteen boy who brings breakfast for employees brought a large pile of plates with Idli sambar in them (He normally brings them one on top of the other plate and makes a pile of 7-8 plates. Doesnt bring them on a tray or trolley). One of my colleagues wanted a plate and so this boy 'rests' the pile on his table and picks up the topmost plate and gives it to him. While trying to focus on 2 things at a time (Keeping the pile balanced and handing over a plate..), the pile tumbled and my colleague had hot steaming sambar all over his newly bought trousers. After an 'agonized yell' from the colleague he jumped from his chair and stood up like a rocket that is fired up. He went to the washroom and wiped most of the 'sambar' but it left a stain, nevertheless . The canteen boy got a firing from his boss (The catering head) and also my colleague. I was inclined to laugh at the pattern the stain made on his pants. I told my colleague jokingly....."Hey, why did you yell at the canteen boy......hes made ur dull looking pants into a nice patterned one......It looks better with the stain!!! Give him a reward!!! "

In another incident one of my other colleagues spilled coffee on his pants......the stain looked as if he'd pissed in his pants...!!! He was roaming in the common area for some time to let the stain dry off, too embarrassed to go beyond the reception area lest anyone sees him like that!!!

In the evening I saw the same canteen boy carrying a single 'wada' in his hand.....He was carrying it like a grenade....I saw this and asked him....
Me: Aren't u suppose to carry that on a plate...for purposes of hygiene?
Canteen boy: Yes sir, but one of the employees dropped it....I am just throwing it in the dustbin..
Me (with a grin on my face): Are you sure YOU didnt drop it..?
Canteen: No sir.

I came home and saw our neighbour with the watchman, both were staring down the elevator shaft....
Me: What are you doing, aunty?
Aunty: My keys have fallen down the shaft.....i hope the watchman can retrieve them....

National stumbly day?
National spillage day?
What was it?

Appreciation

I have learnt that appreciation should not be taken seriously most of the times.

I have learnt that appreciation is measured in words and also in 'kind'.

I have learnt that true appreciation is hard to come by.

I have learnt that it is good to appreciate true efforts.

I have learnt that it is useless to expect the same.

I have learnt that there is a very thin dividing line between appreciation and flattery.

I have learnt to admire people who can realise and appreciate.

I have learnt that there are a lot of people who expect to be appreciated but do not do the same themselves.

I have learnt that appreciation is the positive outlook of life.

I have learnt that over a period of time......humility and appreciation have a relation........a humble man is rarely appreciated........

I have learnt that even god does not get a 100% appreciation vote!!!

Highlight of the day? Why?

Today was a day of varied activities. Day started out as usual with me getting up late for office and reaching office on flexi time. However, I attended half day of office coz a friend (we were engineering college classmates) of mine got married today and I attended his marriage ceremony (Or the latter part of the marriage ceremony which consists of food!!) after half day of office. Met a lot of old college friends whom I had lost touch with. It was like being back to college all over again without the lectures and the study activities !!! After that we went to a nearby gaming centre and playzone to play rounds of bowling, pool and dodge-em cars!! Went to Barista coffee....to have a nice cool large glass of their 'frappe latte'. After that went back home to find that mom and dad had planned a nice 'investment schedule' for me to follow up.....Lectures on financial investments are not uncommon at my place, especially these days when the global economy is down and investors are losing out on investments made,a year ago. This condition is in turn making the same investors hope that if they invest now (when market is down) they'll make a profit on those investments (Pardon the repetition of the term 'invest'. But I have to give you an idea of how I feel when those lectures start!!!). So after hearing the lecture out and promising my mom and dad that I would henceforth invest my money thoughtfully, I left for the gym.
There is a four way junction where traffic is normally blocked......most of the times due to traffic indiscipline. As I stopped my bike behind a vehicle in a line.....I saw a man......must be around 60 years of age......dressed in civilian clothes blowing a whistle and directing traffic......that too in a neat fashion. I dont know whether he was a real traffic policeman (But then they arent that old....when in service) or maybe from a reserve department. But somehow I think he must just be a volunteer, one of those who get out from their cars and start giving directions to sort out traffic jams.
I met one of my friends at evening, we went for a ride in his newly 'serviced' car and told him about this 'old-man-directing-traffic' incident. "Yeah I saw him the other day, too. He was there in the afternoon as well as in the evening. Dont know who he is though. The old geyser must have gone mad after drving in our country's traffic conditions!!!" said my friend.

Now there are some days like these when you are involved in a lot of activities, sit for lot of meetings, meet a lot of people and see a lot of sights (sights like seeing your friend in a wedding dress!!!). But there are times when there is just one thing, a highlight of the day which you do not forget. And I dont know why but the man who was directing the traffic....left a lasting impression on me......
Dont know who he was or what he was...........but the fact was that he was old and still enthusiastically blowing a whistle and directing traffic with the precision of a real traffic policeman!!! He, probably, wasnt even paid for doing it. People could have just dismissed the old man as crazy old fool.....but it wasnt the case.....his directions were being followed and before long traffic was back to its normal free flow!!!

Of couples and bachelors

Ever been out on a trip with an 'unmarried couple or couples'? A trip in which you are familiar with both the boy and the girl, both being good friends of yours, but who are going steady with each other?
In such a condition you are likely to be in trouble unless their is someone else who is just as single as you are!!!
My personal experience (personal experience, here, would also include my friends' experience!!) tells me, 'God save you if you are on a trip / picnic with an 'unmarried couple''. Because most of the times this happens the committed are likely to get cosy with each other and most likely to forget that you have NOT ceased to exist!!! How? Let me explain....with an example,
Today as I was having one of our heart to heart discussions with my dear friend A......he told me such an instance where he got stuck up in.....
Me: So what happened? How was the new years eve?
A: Don't even ask.....T (girl), H (girl) and P (boy) were to come for the trip....
Me: Great!! I know them, they are fun, arent they?
A: Yeah they are, separately.......not together, unfortunately, at the last moment K (boy) also joined in.....
Me: Ok....then?
A: Then what? T and P are going steady and H and K are going steady......so i was the only 'bachelor' in the group....
Me: Happens yaar......dont worry.....you'll find someone soon.....you must be feeling alone!!!
A: Ass......I wasnt talking about that!!! The thing is, we were supposed to be spending time with each other, with everyone .....Instead of that the couples were together and I was left sitting like a bloody lonely duck!!!
Me: That's what I told you....you must be feeling alone.....go find someone....
A: Idiot!!! You try going out with a couple sometime......they are so 'within themselves'
Me: I have been with a couple many times.....
A: Who?
Me: My mom and dad......hahahahaha!!!!
A: Have you lost it today? Must be that meeting with your boss that's left you talking nonsense...
Me: Hahahaha!! OK, sorry.....pun intended......go on......
A: So these couples...wanted to spend time with each other and dragged me along to just give it a 'feel' new year eve's celebration......and I didnt even know that K was coming or I would've guessed it was a couples' celebration......In the end I had to sit alone on the living room sofa, eat pizza and coke that we had brought from outside......(because these ppl wanted to get to the apartment room early!!!) and watch TV all night long while the 'others in the group' were busy with each other.....in the other rooms!!! They didnt even wait till 0000 hrs (for the new year to start) I watched the fireworks alone....
Me: They watched it too......but maybe from somewhere else!!!

I had some similar experiences as my friend did, but then atleast I was spared as their were other 'bachelors' in the group and I was spared of the 'wrath' of couple entries.
Another friend of mine once told me, that, he never had the feeling of being left out even when he was in a 'committed' type group.........
"Your group is an exceptional case, then", I told him !!!