Folks at home.

The pictures of the ideal people I drew in my mind, werent consistent with any greats in this world. Then one day I realised, that what I drew in mind bore resemblance to my folks at home.

How I got my first motorbike.

(The only significant thing in this post today, is, whats written in the title. Most of you would think, its a totally mismatched title for this post.) Today I met some of my engineering college friends. It was great fun. We discussed everything from people, cars, jobs, home loans etc. It kind of reminded me of my engineering college days (Just like everybody. People are reminded of 'those days' when they meet old friends !!). For me engineering college life was torrid. Most people would enjoy the college days. They are most memorable. Of course, I wouldnt say that, I didnt enjoy my college days. Its more like, I never had 'memorable' time. I dont think I would ever remember them as a happy memory. It was a point in my life, when I felt things couldnt be worse and believe me, i was right. I was suffering disappointments on all fronts. I was the worst student in class, I had a lot of KTs, all at different times. I was never used to seeing a 'pass' on the notice board where the results were put up plus I had a lot of run ins with teachers all throughout my engineering life. I once told a teacher in a viva that a question she asked was not from the syllabus. I was right about the syllabus, but no one is stupid enough to tell an external examiner that she is asking an invalid question, that too 'on her face'. Also, I was known to be an 'editor' .....A person who could make a 12 page assignment into a 6 page one, by the method of insystematic editing. Anyone, who was low on time to meet the assignment deadline would have my assignment to copy from. This was something which made me proud, people recognized me for something, atleast. If not a first class in studies at least I had a dubious distinction !!! As we approached our final year of engineering, I was buoyed up by one factor. Our college days were coming to an end. I hadnt performed well in my studies and I would certainly get a relief once education was over. The future looked bleak, but atleast the worst was coming to an end. My dad was worried about my future. He wasnt pressurizing me, but it was evident that he did not like the way things were going. With last year started the campus placements. Given my marks, I did not get any placements. In fact I didnt meet the cutoff marks criteria for most of the companies. My dad gave it a last shot, and told me that if I got a first class in my final year exams, he would buy me a motorbike. There are somethings in life which you never get. I thought that dad buying me a motorbike would be one of them !! Indeed, when I got my final year first term results (a 56% passing), I thought that I would never get a first class. That was because it wasnt possible for me to score a 64% in the final term to round the final year marks to a 60%, which is a first class. After that, I simply gave up hope. I studied like I wanted to, I went out to play when I wanted to and basically went all out on this 'I-dont-give-a-damn' attitude. In the last term exams, somehow, I managed to write my papers pretty well, gave my vivas without any incidents and enjoyed the final year farewell party, happily rejoicing, for those days would never come again while people cried for those days would never come again. I wasnt in anticipation of final term results. I knew they would be bad, even though, by my standards, the papers had gone off pretty well. In fact, I would be glad if I had passed all subjects. One day, one of my best friends, abhilash, called me and told me the results were out. I asked him, whether he saw them (he used to live near the college and usually was the first one to check the results.) He told me, yes. My folks were there with me watching while I talked to him. They looked more tense than I did and the anticipation on their part was intense. I coolly asked him about my results. He told me, I had got a first class in final year !!! I was so shocked to hear this that I didnt speak for a moment. Then when A said hello again, I came to and asked him how the others had fared. Later on I came to know that I had managed to get a 9 grace marks for a first class. Call it whatever you want, but I would call it, god given great luck !! I got my motorbike from dad, after all.

The balance of expression.

The fact of life: Everyone starts taking you for granted if you're too soft, you do all the work, you listen to all the orders and you take all the efforts.
Ethically, it is right to do all these things. There is just one thing to bear in mind. If you overdo this goody goody stuff, it'll backfire. And much as you would think of speaking and behaving nicely to people, sometimes you are compelled to raise your voice, argue, fire and squash people beneath your feet. This would be quite unlike me of course !!! (I ain't joking, I cant do all these as easily as some people would, it requires a lot of effort, in my case). But quite a lot of times these days, I find that its very useful. It shuts up people, they have to think twice before taking you for a ride with their bossy attitude and you learn how to defend yourself against dictatorship. It also gives you that very upmanship at times and the savage satisfaction of having defeated someone, or having shown him, that you can fight and overthrow your opponent. It makes you feel like a raging tiger or the king of the jungle. It gives you a psychological high. Can't overdo this stuff also, however. You keep speaking like that all the time and your words lose their value. People take you for a fool whose always arguing. Slowly people learn to ignore you even when your point may be right, although, raised your voice is, as always.
As they say, there needs to be balance of everything in life and human behaviour.

Sex kara aani slim raha

Well actually, it started of with someone sending an email; you know, one of those regular forward stuff. Now, I believe that there are a very few people who would actually 'read' a very descriptive sort of email in office, atleast, apart from that involving office work. For example, no one likes to read a long love story and no one wants too much information on how xyz achieved his goals inspite of being a pauper earlier. The main reason: People dont have time. An ideal 'office fwd email' would be one which contains pictures, or some good jokes or good cartoon strips etc. Pictures can be scanned through quickly, good jokes can refresh a worn-out mind and good cartoon strips do the same. Rarely is a descriptive type of email interesting.
Coming to the point, I once received an email, which was descriptive. It was good, I read it and I am sure it must have been read by all. The reason for this irony was that it was related to one of the most hottest topics in this whole world.......sex.
The subject line was: Sex kara aani slim raha (this was in marathi, the english translation would be, "Have sex and stay slim"). Now apparently, it was marked to quite a few people, mainly we people who are young and bachelors. Apart from this it was also marked to some seniors in office due the fact that they are the 'cool' sort of people whom other people dont mind sending such emails !!! Now there was this one senior SSS, who must be around 36-38 yrs of age. The mail was forwarded to him. I had read the mail and found it amusing. I smiled and moved on to my work. After some time, our department head came to pick up some of his printouts from the common printer which is kept on a table just a few places away where I sit. Now, the HOD has a habit of cleaning out the mess from the printer out tray (He hates it when people just keep their printouts lying on the tray.) So as usual he was checking all the stuff, and telling people off for leaving their printouts lying around. Suddenly he stopped and pulled out a paper from the bunch of papers he was holding in his hand. I saw the flash of a grin pass on his face. He handed me a printout. I thought that maybe I had forgotten about collecting it from the printer. I was about to say sorry when he laughed and said, "Its not yours, hand it over to SSS when he comes back to his place, and tell him that I picked it up from the tray" (SSS sits just a place ahead of me and had probably gone to the loo at that time !!).
I looked at the printout and realised that SSS had given a printout of the email subject lined 'sex kara aani slim raha' !!!! (The name of the person who gives the printout appears on the top of the email !!!). I laughed a lot secretly but somehow managed to keep a perfectly straight face when I handed him over the printout and told him that the HOD picked it up from the tray !! As he turned away to face his PC, I saw his ears turn red....

The love song and the hate song.

The following poem is for two people of opposite sex who have just fallen in love with each other:

Smile, her smile so bright,
She lit up my heart like a thousand lights.

She isnt so beautiful, she isnt so fair,
For me she's the one
who's so rare.

I'll fight for her, I'd die for her
I'd give my everything away..
I'd be with her, I'll care for her,
I'd think about her night and day !

Her hair so long,
A voice like a song,
Eyes like a dear,
Baby, come here, come here
Be my love, be my love !!

The following poem is for two people of opposite sex who have just started hating each other:

She looks at me like a hawk,
I wish I could give, give her a sock.

She isnt so beautiful, nor is she fair,
Yet I dunno how I liked this horrible mare.

I'd fight with her, I'd die for sure,
I'll lose my sanity and peace,
I cannot live with her, I have no cure,
Will I live, or will i cease?

She looks like a witch,
The stupid bitch,
My long lost love,
my long lost love !!

**************************Disclaimer*****************************************
This post does not bear any resemblance / relation with any two persons living or dead (natural causes or due to each other) It is completely in good humour and shall not be taken seriously. This disclaimer serves a notice that the poem is bound to be nasty to some extra sensitive types !!
****************************************************************************

Photography.

Now, i wouldnt say that the first word that left my mouth when I was born was 'camera', so don't think that I am the best photographer in the world or anything, I would'nt think so too. But then snaps clicked by me arent that bad either. For one thing, I hate it when people show me photographs which have only people in it !!! I mean if its a social event or a party function then you'd obviously have snaps of people taken, cause there is nothing else to shoot, but people !!! What I mean to say is that I like to take and view photographs of landscapes and natural beauty more than I like to take and view photographs of only people in them. Of course, one might argue that natural beauty is as is taken by the eyes of the beholder. For example, there might be a very naturally beautiful lady in the group of people whom you have snapped !! Yes, thats ok, but then, I have seen pictures of only people even when they go to places like kathmandu and nainital. I mean c'mon...... Whats the point of looking at stupid idiots when there are lush green, mountainsque and picturesque landscapes behind those dimwits? If you take a photo of someone standing with a clearly visible view behind him / her, it looks beautiful, in fact it adds beauty. But its simply ridiculous, if you're taking such a closeup that you're hiding the background from view !!!! Some fools argue that those are for memories. But my counter-agrument is that, good group photographs can still serve as good memories and a few group / couple photographs ought to be enough for the whole trip. The 'exotic poses' can be taken at home or matrimonial photos can be snapped in studios !! Some people are just out to prove that 'we-were-there-for-the-trip-and-we-enjoyed-a-lot !!' through the photographs !!! I mean, look, you dont have to prove that do you? Unless, you have an appointment with the district attorney who's out to prove that you are innocent in the murder case of some poor dodo who stayed in the same hotel as you did on the trip?

Think of the weekend.

I'll tag my readers to take this......Ten things which you think of when the 'real' weekend approaches...
My ten things.....
1) Sleepzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
2) Long gaming hours on the PC.
3) No work..laze around.
4) Cool glass of pineapple juice
5) Afternoon nap (Didnt include this in pt no. 1 coz.....its a totally different category of sleepzzz....the pleasure is more !!!)
6) Hang out with friends.....play pool, bowling, cricket, football.
7) Hang out with friends.....go for a long night time drive......have laughter filled and soulful chats....
8) Come home to a hot steaming.....mom-made dinner.....rice, curry, a nice aloo gobi....or mutter paneer ..or eat out with family or friends.....
9) Chat some more with folks......Write a post on da blog.......play some more PC games.....
10) Watch a night movie...

Route of the roses and route of the thorns !

Today I felt like running away from the office. The weather outside didnt help. It was nice cloudy, a bit breezy and it looked like it might rain. Thats the time when I remembered the 'life-is-a-road-with-many-forks' philosophy. There are times when you feel like running away from the difficulties. But you realise you have nowhere to go. They say you have to stay and fight. One road down the fork is very tempting. Its a bed of roses, comfortable, weather is fine and you feel like going down the garden on that route and just flopping down on the soft grass. The other road is the opposite kind. Uninviting, spectacularly barren, not even any dried berries to eat and thorns that would prick your bums if decide to flop onto them !!! Weather gets real rough at times. You'll be caught in storms, that you can fight, only if you stay alive and sane.
What would you choose? In my current 'professional conditions' I'd take the route of the roses !!!

The day of defeat.

There are times when you feel mentally DEFEATED at the end of the day. You have tried your best to make it good. Tried to please everyone, tried telling people nicely. Tried like hell to give the most sensible pieces of advice. Yet all the people who've been around you have either misunderstood you, have spoken ill of you, treated you like an enemy, spoken nastily about things which they dont know or are not concerned with and compared you to the most horrible people you have ever known, or with whom you wouldnt like to be compared with !!
Just for information....I didnt feel any of the above today.

The 9-point quiz on road rage.!!!

Do you do the following?
1) Does your heartbeat and pulse go up the moment you drive your car round the corner?
2) Do you wish at times that you had a monster truck or a road roller or better yet, a demolition ball?
3) Do you play GTA san andreas and idolize the character who mercilessly drives over pedestrians?Do you wish you could do that in real?
4) Does your middle finger go up in a salute to someone rather too quickly when driving a car?
5) Do you hurl the choicest abuses in front of your parents, colleagues, friends or complete strangers when you're driving, to a complete ass walking in the middle of the road?
6) Do you feel sadistic pride in having overtaken some car, and having squeezed it for space?
7) Do you feel a jumping joy in ur heart when an autorickshaw driver is hauled over by the traffic policeman?
8) Do you care less for your bike side mirrors, as long as it hits someone hard enough to teach him a lesson in non-hasty and careful ways of crossing the roads?
9) Do you fail to feel amazed by the fact that your car doesnt even have a scratch, let alone a dent or a blemish, even though you drive your car alongside the craziest and the nuttiest drivers?

If your answer to any of the above questions is a yes......congratulations and welcome to the world of road rage. Everything is fair in love, war and mumbai streets !!!