My cousins marriage!!!

A conversation:
Mom: Your cousin’s marriage is fixed on the 22nd Saturday!!!!
Me (Thinking): Shit!!!! She is going to tell me to come along!!! What a bore!!
Me (Aloud) : Which cousin, by the way?
Mom: Your cousin Ramesh. We will go by car. Dads coming as well.
Me: Who the hell is Ramesh? Is he my cousin?
Mom: Of course, you devil…..he is my second cousin’s third youngest son…
Me: Wat? And who is ur second cousin?
Mom: Shammi aunty, of course.
Me (Thinking): Who the hell is shammi aunty?
Me (Aloud): Sorry mom, cant make it…..I have some work.
Mom: But you have Satudays off at office? What work? You don’t work at home either? Then?
Me (Thinking): Shes right!!! Oh no!!! I have no excuse!!
Me (Now saying aloud): Actually I was planning to hang out with my friends…
Mom: You always hang out with your friends.. It wont matter if u come along with us for one day….to your cousins marriage…..

And then I have to drag along for some wedding of some unknown cousin of mine…..whom I have never met, never talked to and never even known his name till the point when mom told me. Weddings have always been boring for me…..I even think that I would get bored on my wedding day too!! Anyway, we reach the venue of the wedding and find someone who greets us at the gates. Someone in kurta who seems to know my mother and father both…..We get inside the wedding hall and sit in someplace. We watch the proceedings for some time….suddenly a fat looking lady appears and smiles at the 3 of us…Mom introduces me to her….she is ‘The shammi aunty’ mom has talked about. She sits down next to me and there is another conversation between us…

Shammi aunty: You have grown so much…!!!
Me (Thinking): Not as much as you have fatty!!!
Shammi aunty: You remember me? Of course, you wouldn’t…!!! You were so small then, I had taken you in my arms then……and u had done susu…!!!
Me (Thinking): BOY!!! I AM GRATEFUL AT MY BABY SELF FOR PEEING IN YOUR ARMS!!!!
Shammi aunty: Ok….have fun ‘young man’
Me (Thinking): ya right!!
Me (aloud): bye aunty!!!

Time drags by…..I keep watching my watch…..suddenly mom calls out from somewhere…..i look up to see her siting with a group of ladies whos ‘age group’ is same as moms……mom introduces me to these ladies…..One of them asks me…

Lady: What are you doing these days?
Me: Working for an engineering company.
Lady: Oh so you are an engineer!!! Great!! Job has started…great.!!! What is your age?
Me (While getting a hint as to which direction this talk is heading to!!): 24.
Lady: Mrs K your son is well settled now…..you should look out for a girl for him…..hehehehheheh!!! (All the ladies in that group start giggling like little braty girls starting a naughty plan)
Me (Thinking): Oh no!!! Do these people have no other job?

After this we meet the bride and the groom to give him gifts ( the bride and the groom both look tired…….they don’t seem to be enjoying their own wedding at all!!!) and later have lunch……and then finally it is time to go……When we are leaving we meet another lady……of my moms age….she is accompanied by a very pretty girl. The tragedy is that I have not seen a single good looking girl in the wedding as yet (as usual) I am looking at the girl when a sort of recognition dawns upon moms face and mom cries out….

Mom: oohhhhhhhhhh!!! Sujata !!!!!!
The lady: ooohhhhhhh!!!! Madhuri!!!!!
Both of them hug each other…..I wish I could grab the girl…the same way as these two did!

Mom: Sujata…..its been a long time!!! Its been like 10 years isnt it? We met at the 20th school reunion?
Sujata: Yes, I remember…..you have put on a lot of weight…..
Me (thinking): Oh good they are school classmates. That means the pretty girl must be her daughter!!! Great!!! Hope I get an intro………
Mom: Sujata let me introduce you to my son…Ravi and husband Mr. K.
Sujata: Hello Ravi, what are you doing these days…….?
Me (Thinking): Cmon aunty just introduce me to your daughter atleast….maybe ill get her email ID and stay in touch.
Me (Aloud): I am fine and …….blah blah….
Sujata: Oh I did not introduce her to you people (points at the pretty girl)
Me (Thinking): Yes!!! Finally!!!
Sujata: She is my daughter in law. My second sons wife…..My son is in the states and ….blah blah blah….
Me (Thinking): CRASH!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!!! Party’s over…..I am going home!!!