Official trip to Netherlands - Groningen Part 3

Our office schedule was the same everyday. There is nothing much to say on the work front. When it comes to writing a post...I dont like to cover any details of that in the post. Anyway, thursday was shopping day !!! Most shops are open here till 8 PM on thursday and so as soon as we reached hotel after office, we dropped our office bags in the room and went off immediately with our shopping bags !! I shopped for a few souvenirs. And of course, we shopped for chocolates too !!! Chocolates were quite cheap in the Albert heijn market and we bought a lot of chocolates and some cheese too. I also went to a shop which sold only cheese. When I entered, I was most amazed to see hundreds maybe even thousands of variety of cheese. Each variety was neatly stacked in shelves. A full round 'wheel' of cheese looked like a big yellow tire. It just made you want to bite into it, as quickly and deeply as possible !! I was just so confused when I asked the shopkeeper....Would you happen to have a sort of 'assorted' packet of cheese? Shopkeeper: Nope, I dont have that...but you can have a few varieties on weight...maybe a 100 gms of each or so? Me: Mmmm...no...I think I'll buy just one of your recommendations...which one would you recommend? Shopkeeper: Well...lets see...you like to have one from pasteurized milk or normal.. Me: Normal. Shopkeeper: Strong or mild? Me: Medium...not too strong not too mild. Shopkeeper: Salty to taste or bland? Me: Well, on the saltier side.... Shopkeeper...All right then....here you go... He took out a cheese wheel from a nearby shelf....cut a slice....and sliced out a thinner slice for me to taste. I tasted it and it seemed to have a salty and slightly bitter taste...I liked it and bought 200 gms of it. He told me that it was 'beloga cheese'. Later I also bought some packed cheese from the supermarket. On friday, we said a final goodbye to our office colleagues. On saturday, we had a plane to catch in amsterdam at 10:30 and so we started off from Groningen at 6:00 AM in the morning. We reached Amsterdam at around 7:45 AM and after the usual baggage check in....shopped some more in the airport area in their famous 'SEE BUY FLY' duty free shopping area. The security check here was at the boarding gate. So once you go through the security check, you directly board the plane. The body scanning machine here was a sort of round glass enclosure. You had to step inside and then a glass panel would rotate around you and the round glass enclosure. I was forcibly reminded of the sci-fi movies where machines of similar design transformed humans into something else !! I told my friend that he would see a new ravi with superwings or something at the other end of the machine !!! After this we boarded the plane. Our journey was of 7 hours till Delhi. We reached Delhi at 10:30 PM at night where the outside temperature was an unpleasant 38 degrees celcius, at 10:30 PM in the night itself !! Our next plane was Delhi - Mumbai at 3:30 Pm which got cancelled and we got booking on a flight which left delhi at 7:00 AM the next day !!! Anyway...since there were 12 of us...we chatted a lot and had a lot of fun discussing funny incidents from the trip. It was one great trip afterall and hope there are many more like these to come !!!

Official trip to Netherlands - Groningen Part 2

On monday morning, we had an early breakfast at 7:00 AM and our cab was there to pick us up at around 7:30 AM. Its spring time in netherlands and one of the most amusing thing I find here is that the sun sets after 9 PM !!! Here it used to set at 9:30 PM and there used to be twilight till around 10:30 PM !!! There were days then I slept at 10:30 PM when there was evening light and woke up to bright sunlight which came as early as 5:00 AM in the morning !! So anyway, the cab left us to office...which was at a distance of around 30 Kms from our hotel. The office here was in a village called as Sappemeer. This was a farming village with a few big offices nearby. Our office here is in a nice spacious building with G+2 floors and a small canteen. Some tables are also laid outside, where people enjoy light sunshine in spring time !! There is a railway line beside the building compound and I was given a workplace which gave me a great view of passing trains !! The dutch people seem to have a slow style of working but never seem to sacrifice the quality of work done. The people in our office were a very helpful lot. We even asked them about Groningen and they were more than happy to tell us which places to see and which restaurants were good. First day in office was all about introductions and familiarization with people on the project, overview of the project and the agenda of the 5 day meeting. The first part was the most important as good communication is a must in any 'workshare' job. Life here is very slow as compared to life in a city like Mumbai. People seem to do what they like and its kind of hard to 'work hard' here. They seem to enjoy and work is just a smaller part of their life. Every evening we used to go around in Groningen. We went to the station (just to see how a dutch railway station and the trains there looked like and the intercity train fares to various cities..so that we would know...in case we go to groningen again), Martini tower (which is the tallest 'monument' in groningen), Harmsmeer lake (a nice quiet place with families and youngster enjoying the serenity of the lake.) We even took a round by one of the red light district lanes !! The latter most is the most interesting one to describe and might be most interesting to anyone who hasnt been there !! Me, jaggu and shashi ventured out one late evening. We were given the directions by our friend, naren.....who had frequented the place during the first four late evenings !! We followed his directions but missed a turn and went to Groningen station. When we were walking back, jaggu suggested that maybe naren had told us to turn in the wrong direction. So we went in the opposite direction and found it. From a distance we saw a lane with 'shops' with glass windows and red tubelights bordering the edges of the glass. Inside the 'shops' behind the windows were girls in two piece or bikinis. As we started walking down the lane, we looked at them. Some of them smiled and waved, some beckoned, some of them performed a short jig. It goes without saying that they were dressed to kill or 'undressed' to capture customers. On the whole, I would advise anyone travelling there to atleast go to the lane and have a look, just to know and see it for what it is, not alone, but with some people accompanying you. We did not feel unsafe or anything when we were walking down that lane but then it was a crowded thursday evening and then there is always an element of uncertainty when you are going anywhere for the first time, isnt it?

Official trip to Netherlands - Groningen Part 1

It was all rainy and fogged up as we landed here in amsterdam. However as our aircraft descended there was surprisingly no turbulence, quite typical of such foggy and rainy conditions. The pilot made a silky smooth landing and I bet that if anyone was sleeping at that time, he wouldnt have woken up !! Schipol is a spacious airport with 4 lounges (main waiting areas). It seems to be pretty much busy too. I think the reason for that would be that there are many connecting flights from Schipol to other parts of the world. We headed to passport control (immigration) where they asked us the usual questions. Q: Purpose of your visit? A: Business meeting. Q: What kinda business meeting? A: A scope identification sort of business meeting !! Q: Could you show me your invitation letter please? A: Yeah. Sure....here it is. The man looked at the invitation letter and looked impressed (Because the name of our company is quite famous apparently!!) "Hmm.... !!!" He said !! He immediately stamped my passport. All 14 of us, then picked up our baggage and assembled in the pickup area. The pickup fellow was there holding an identification board. He took us to the cabs waiting for us and helped us with our luggage. It was a good 2 hour drive from Amsterdam airport to Groningen. The distance between the two is approximately 253 Kms and so as per the math, the average speed was a fast 125 Km / hr !!! On the way, we enjoyed seeing the lovely dutch countryside. The fields here are stretched as far as the eye can see and the greenery is amazing. There was also a lot of cattle grazing in many of these fields. Netherlands is known for its dairy products like cheese. The dutch also harness a lot of wind energy, which is evident from the large no. of windmills that we saw along the way. We reached Groningen at around 10 AM local time here. Had the complimentary breakfast and went around to roam in groups of threes or fours (Our group for most of the time was me, Jaggu, VDP and SW from electrical). Groningen is a very quiet place. When we came here, it was as if we had come into a curfew area !! The receptionist told us that its because it was sunday and shops are closed and people too, sleep late into the morning, We were quite amused by this. She asked us on what day are shops closed in Mumbai? We told her that they are not closed on any day and are open till atleast 10 in the night !! It was her turn to be amused after that !!! After that we went out to roam around in Groningen, since our rooms would be ready after some time. Actually we just walked around just surveying what shops are there and where the eating places are as all of them were closed !! We saw a sort of 'Fun fair' area which was buzzing with activity when we went out later in the afternoon after returning to our hotel rooms and catching a short nap. We also saw a couple of subway outlets and macdonalds outlets which are open after 6 PM in the afternoon, meaning that we can go there to have our dinner meal !! Groningen has a lot of canals too and I saw a lot of people fishing as well.

We are the 'uncle' generation

Today we went to eat out at a restaurant. There were a lot of kids at the place. My friend spotted a kid who was playing with the window curtains. At the end of the curtains were these small 'pom poms'. The kid was taking great pleasure by hitting his dad around the head with these. From our side we took great pleasure in watching this scenario and laughing our asses off. The boy's dad didnt seem to mind and my friend RAA asked me, whether I ever....ever.... had the balls to hit my dad on the head or anywhere for that matter, playfully or forcefully whatsoever !! I replied in the negative and RAA commented that if he ever showed the kind of 'arrogance' the kid was showing....his dad would've trashed him to his right senses !!! Not that I mean to be an uncle lending out wise words...but it just so happens that things are quite different from what they were when we were kids. You might argue that how we were was different from what our parents were when they were young also...but again it so happens that we are closer in mannerisms and obedience traits with our earlier generation than the kids today will be with us. Our world was quite simple. Go to school, listen to the teachers, or dont listen to them, they yell at you, even hit you if you go to the extreme of 'misbehaving'. And then kids crying their eyes out. Either from the physical pain of the hit or from the prick of the conscience !!! Lessons in life were learnt this way. Come recess and it was time to play and eat our tiffins. Not many of us had money to buy from the canteen. We ate from our tiffins. Whenever we craved for change, we ate from other's tiffins !! It was common for teachers to pass the lid of a tiffin around in class, so that every one would put something in it....and give it to a kid who had forgotten his. When school was over, we went home, ate whatever food mom gave us and went out to play. It was outdoor games all the time in the evening. We didnt sit in front of PS2s and xboxes all evening, although we might have enjoyed some afternoon sessions of video games and computer games, during summer holidays at someone who was 'privileged' enough to own a nintendo, atari or a sony 'box'. For those familiar with the TV games terminology, a 10 in 1 game cartridge used to cost around 200 bucks and the ones who had these games had to beg their parents for a new cartridge...who in turn used to tell them, how lucky they were to get the box itself and how one should be satisfied with the existing games that were bought for them. After the evening outdoor games like cricket, football, kho kho, catch and cook, poison medicine, hide and seek etc., we went home and had our dinner. My dad used to come late and when he did come home, he used to wear a very 'forbidding' look on his face. That look on his face was enough to drive us to our obedient best. The memory of that face was enough to scare us, whenever mom threatened to tell our 'deeds' to dad when we had misbehaved anytime during the day !!! We respected our parents and sure as hell, we were scared of them too !! At night we slept, comfortable with the knowledge that our parents were the world for us, and would keep us secure. There was no 'strong sense of independence' the kids of today have !! We were simple as kids, ready to be led in this big bad world, by our parents. After reliving all these memories, it seems almost unbelievable, that this kid had the 'audacity' to hit his father playfully !!!

Life in a Roller coaster !!

Recently went to Esselworld amusement park. Had a lot of fun...sat a lot of rides. Ones that go up and down...
ones that take you to the top of the world...
ones that make you go round and round....
ones that splash you with water....

The best part for me, will always be...the roller coasters...Exciting little rail carts...make you scream and shout...and give you a thrill of a lifetime...initially you are full of anticipation as the cart slowly starts of...then you are full of awe...at the height it gains....you start to wonder when it'll start giving you the thrill. Meanwhile it reaches its apex...you see the rails in front of you....declining sharply...the car seems to pause for a moment....and then....you r never prepared for what happens next...the coaster plunges down at breakneck speed and takes the following incline with equal speed.....you feel the exhilaration and can barely stop yourself from screaming....from excitement...of fear, of pure adrenaline rush or 'simply' from the odd unrecognized feeling of extremeness that it gives you !!.
The coaster then quietens down again....then thunders down another loop...darts around on a banked circle...zips past a loop...in which you're going to go round and upside down....comes to a top point again...and then just when you start feeling that the ride is getting old now ....it plunges down again....but the loop is ahead....so instead of slowing down after its plunge....it accelerates terrifically and takes you inside the loop and turns you upside down and right side up again....it happens so fast that you hardly have time..... to feel scared or to get used to it.
Either case...at the end of the ride you decide that it was so much fun....that you should ride it again !!!
Roller Coasters offer you the enthralling opportunity of going at speeds which are not possible when you are driving a car, or riding a bike. Bikes and cars can be driven fast...but of course, more than the thrill.......speed kills there...
In a coaster, the force of so many gravities means that you are 'almost' sitting in a fighter plane.

I had so much fun....that I have vowed to go to as many amusement parks as possible and sit on many roller coasters !!!

Honeymoon in Mauritius - Part 4

After relaxing in the hotel for two days....going to the beach, taking walks just outside the hotel, sitting down in the room watching tv, romancing, eating pizzas for lunch......it was time for the saturday outing of 'Blue Safari Submarine'. Our group was taken to the motherboat of the submarine by another motor driven boat. We boarded the submarine through the top hatch by a ladder. The submarine had seats two in a row !! The 'cockpit' was a cramped space where buttons, displays, gauges, levers were mounted. The 'pilot' climbed in and all of us cheered him with a whoop of 'yeah !!' There were round windows along the sides of each seat. When we first climbed into the submarine we saw the hull of the motherboat since the submarine was attached to the motherboat.
After the 'pilot' explained the tour and the controls of the submarine in brief...the submarine took off. The submarine ride was smooth and it was like a turbulence free plane ride !! We saw many colourful fish and undersea life !! The pilot took us close to a barrier reef which is a undersea mountainous formation of corals. We were also taken to a shipwreck. The pilot explained that the mauritians dont sell old ships in scrap. Instead they purposely sink ships. The ships become breeding grounds for undersea plants which becomes food for the fishes and hence helps in preserving undersea life !! At the end of 35 minutes, we were taken up again. As the submarine rose, the sunlight being refracted through the waters created the impression that the surface of the waters was golden !! It was beautiful and can hardly be described. We were given some refreshments and were taken back to the shore. The shore area belonged to a hotel. The hotel had a big lobby opening out into its restaurant facing the sea !! It had a few sovenir shops where we picked up more sovenirs. We were taken back to our hotel. We picked up some bags of crisps and chocolate bars, which was our lunch for the day !! (The submarine ride was at 2:30 PM and it was 4 by the time we came back to shore. The driver was not ready to stop for lunch as he had to report back at 5:30 PM max). At dinner, we were given our special candle light dinner, which was a part of our holiday package !! The candle light dinner was on an outdoor table. They gave us special heart shaped pastries !!
The next day we were to depart mauritius. In the morning we did kayaking in the waters of our hotel's beach !! After this we had pizza once again !! The private cab driver dropped us to the hotel, where we spent time having coffee and window shopping in mauritius airport shopping area. We reached mumbai airport at around 3:30 AM in the morning, took a prepaid cab and came home at around 5 AM. It was good to see aai and baba....they had missed us more than we had missed them of course !! We were totally lost in each other and in the lovely country of mauritius !!

Honeymoon in Mauritius - Part 3

The next day, it was the island tour. 'Ile Aux Cerfs' is an island near the east coast of Mauritius. We were first taken to the tourist centre on the mainland, where we paid another 900 MUR for a speed boat ride around the island and to the waterfalls. The Speed Boat ride was very thrilling. I'll always remember the boat rider !!
A casually smart looking black man. A holiday T-shirt and bermudas and a pair of cool shades. He was quite muscly and was talking happily with his girlfriend. He had a stereo on the speed boat, with the hip local mauritian music, which was fun to listen to and perfect for the fast boat ride !!! The speed boat took us around the island and through a sort of canyon to a waterfall, which fell off a low cliff. It was here that we saw monkeys....real ones, of course...not the ones we see everyday !!!
After this the speed boat took us to a platform. This was the launching platform for the parasail. Each of the couples were harnessed to a parasail. It was a double harness where the girl was harnessed in the front of the boy, so that he could control the direction of the parasail. The guide there taught us how to control...It is easy to pick up but hard to do....really requires all the power of your arms if you want to move yourselves sharply to the left or the right. After checking our harness, the guide signalled to the speed boat rider (the speed boat to which our parasail was tied) to go ahead. The speed boat accelerated and pulled at the ropes taking us up into the air with sheer speed !! It made our adrenaline rush and we whooped for joy !!! We were up in the air by around 50 metres in a matter of just 3 seconds !! After being airborne for around 5 minutes, the speed boat lined us I made a landing which would make pilots proud of me !!!
From here we were taken by another slow motor driven boat to the island. As we were halfway there, it started raining !!! It gave us a great chance to be chivalrous....to our better half ....and of course... to our cameras too !!! I quickly threw a big plastic over vrunda's head and also covered the camera !!! Once we touched the shore...our new boat rider didnt even bother to help us out of the rocking boat !! He jumped out of the boat and scampered to the shelter as soon as possible, leaving us all behind !!! We helped each other out...Vrunda and me did not bother to run after that as we were dripping wet anyway !! We walked along the shoreline to where our group had assembled. Our guide there told us to be back by around 3:00 PM to catch our boat home. On the island we first changed into dry clothes. The island was like one big party venue !! Speed boats, cruisers, sailboats were anchored along a sand bar and the beach. Some boats were arriving...On one boat the people on were singing and partying. As soon as the boat shored, the people whooped for joy !! We took a walk to the edge of the sandbar. Me through the water and vrunda through the sands as she had had enough of being wet !! After this little walk we went to an indian restaurant where we had non veg thalis. The restaurant was a nice place. Each table was on a sort of 'machan' - an elevated platform supported by 4 poles. After our lunch we roamed around more and had ice cream !! After this it was almost time to go back. So we went to the assembly point where we met our group. It started raining again and we took shelter near the boatshed. When the rain stopped our guide pointed us to the speedboat which was supposed to take us back. We climbed aboard and very soon were zooming towards the mainland. It was drizzling pleasantly now and it was pleasant after the bright sunshine !! Our bus took us back to the hotel where we spent the rest of the day chilling out on the beach chairs and having dinner !!

Honeymoon in Mauritius - Part 2

On reaching the hotel, we were welcomed by a lady named 'Sidney'. Sidney had a very french accent. She asked us to fill up a form. After we filled up the form, we were asked to give a copy of our 'wedding CORD'. Atleast that was the way I heard it !!
I've been to the states and spoken to people with British and Chinese accent of English but the french one was new and I had to ask the lady 3-4 times before I finally understood that 'CORD' was actually card. Realising it, was, of course, another shock as throughout the booking of our trip we'd never been told that we would be asked for proof of our marriage at the hotel. Luckily, I had the wedding card scanned and had uploaded it up on my gmail. Another good thing was that I had my 'Galaxy Smartphone' ....I connected to the Wi-fi and sent it to the hotel email ID. We had reached the hotel at around 12 noon and the check in time was 2 P.M. However we were given the room at around 1:15 PM...thank god for that !! From 12 noon to 1:15 P.M we went for a tour of the hotel.
The hotel had its own beachfront, a lovely swimming pool adjoining a bar overlooking the white sands of the beach and blue ocean waters !!!
After checking in and settling down...we went for our proper 'Lunch' (Before that we had mom's home made 'chivda'). Lunch was pizza....well made and a very wholesome meal.
We went to our rooms, freshened up and napped a bit. At 3:45 P.M, a gentleman called 'Fardeen' showed up to plan our activities for our week of stay. Fardeen was one of those guys who love to show the world that they're 'simply cool'. He had his 'brochuurresss' ready and at hand...and explained all the couples, the day tours and the activities and water sports he had to offer and the prices. Each couple selected their favourites. We picked up...Parasailing and the Blue safari submarine. After this we spent some more time in our rooms.......resting. As the evening came, it was a great joy to see the sunset on the horizon and watching the sun drown its acrylic colours in the blue waters and then enjoy the light cool breeze, whilst sitting on the beach chairs and enjoying the romantic star show !!!

The next day, it was the south island tour. This included...
the glass factory...which was rubbish,
the diamond factory...there was no factory to be frank!!
The dead volcano...this was just a crater with lot of volcanic ash solidified...The mountain had a good view, however !!
The 7 coloured earth of the chamarel ...you really can see the 7 colours...we have taken lots of photos here and near the sleeping volcano !!
The sovenir shops....where we shopped for some sovenirs.
The ship building factory...Lovely....real masterpieces...and real attention to detail...there were lot of wooden ship models, for display and sale. Price ranges starting from 700 MUR to 100000 MUR !!
This was a total standout tourist site in the south island tour...real amazing....

We were also shown the Shiva Temple of Mauritius. Our tour guide said, "Billa, pata hai? India kaa Billa.....woh mauritius ko donation deta hain.' Till now, I had become quite familiar with the French accent of the locals and understood that 'Billa' means Mr. Birla....Mr Aditya Birla contributes a lot to Mauritius and has made a temple in mauritius. The shiva temple has a 105 metre statue of Lord Shiva, which however does not have a 'damroo' in his hand !!!

We had lunch in an Indian cuisine restaurant....both me and Vrunda had a veg thali at 400 MUR.

We were dropped at the hotel at around 5:30 PM after which we had a great time relaxing on the beachside again !!

Honeymoon in mauritius - Part 1

The planning stage was an intense research in geography, geology and economics...by this i mean we travelled (in our visions and day dreams) to many parts of asia, exploring our options of destinations...mountains, beaches and monumental city wonders and considered the budget of our trip. After all this..it was a wonder that we selected mauritius...quite a 'standard' honeymoon destination !! A bit expensive in terms of 'standard'...but still quite a favourite amongst honeymoon couples. Mauritius it was....a small island near the coast of eastern africa...
We had been looking forward to this trip ever since it was planned back in September. We were scheduled to depart from Mumbai on the 28th Nov morning. It was a 0400 hrs flight in the morning, and after checking in and the security checks, we were at the waiting lounge near the boarding gates. As expected there were many honeymoon couples, so from there itself, getting 'intimate'!! There was a slight hiccup while boarding, where my wife had forgotten a tag on her purse. We had to go back to the security counter to get ones, as the idiots at the gates didnt have any.
It was Vrunda's first time in flight and it was most amazing for her to experience the exhilarating acceleration and takeoff and the slightly bumpy landing of the plane.
Mauritius airport is known 'Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolam Airport'named after one of the famous prime ministers. As soon as we got off, we were directed to the visa counters. Mauritius has a visa-on-arrival system for Indians. The visa process was extremely quick. We just had to present our passports and our hotel booking vouchers. The visa was stamped and we were 'Welcome to mauritius' as told by the counter officer !!
As soon as we collected our baggage, we were outside, where there were currency exchange counters, where we purchased some 14000 mauritian rupee (MUR). There was a slight confusion as we waited at a counter no. 7, where the agency representative who was supposed to pick us up, had not arrived. Moreover counter no. 7 bore the name of a different travel agency !! After a bit of 'asking around' we came to know that the pick up guy would be waiting outside the airport at the arrival gates. As we walked outside the agent with the board checked our names on his list and introduced us to a cab driver who would drive us to our hotel. The cab driver was a tall fellow. It was difficult to tell his origin. He had a mixture of south Indian and south american looks. The people in mauritius are a mix. Indians (Biharis), south americans, french, africans. The locals speak a language called 'creole' which is a mix of the indian language 'bhojpuri' and french. While we were being driven to the hotel, I noticed that the weather seemed to be tropical, however the air seemed to be fresh and the skies were a lovely blue lined with a few scattered clouds, which looked like cotton. The roads were good, rules were being followed, generally and it was very clean. Our resort 'The Jalsa Beach resort and Spa' was at a place called 'Poste Laffayette. Looking out of the window was a treat by itself. The scenery and the landscapes were so beautiful...that i could not quite bring myself to face the fact that my video camera has limited memory and cannot record the entire hour of our travel !! So i recorded a video and then sat back to relax and just watch the beauty of nature with lenses of my eyes and record it in my own memory !! After an hour of driving we came to a slightly inclined road..beyond which nothing could be seen...as our car went further and reached the apex...it was a sight which i can probably never forget...a vast and deep blue shoreline was clearly visible...lined with white sands and waves swirling and twisting in a foam to meet the sands...Very soon we reached our hotel.

Delhi belly and Bbuddah hoga tera baap.

Both these movies released at the same time. Probably on the same date. Yet they're quite different. Personally, I have liked one and hated the other.

Delhi Belly.
This movie was given a thumbs down for the toilet humour, a scene or two of vulgarity and the use of abusive language. On the other hand, some critics lauded it for the filmmaker's bold comedy.

If you ask me, I enjoyed every moment of everything that's there in the movie. The story is okish...the one in which there are a lot of mix ups. The mix up routines similar to those seen in quite a lot of movies of recent times...one of them which comes to mind is the kunal khemu starrer '98'.

The casting is good. Imran khan, kunal roy kapoor and vir das, play the perfect roles of bachelors. The house which they live in fits the description of a 'bachelor's pad' well. Broken fans, plaster coming off the walls, unhygienic conditions and general carelessness. Shenaz Treasurywala looks hot. Its hard to believe that she's 36 (years of age !!:) ) A big 'Wow!!' for her. The villian's role done by vijay raaz has suited him and his 'proficient style' and the timing of his 'gaalis' makes you role on the floor with laughter !!

The film has targeted the young section of the audience of india, which enjoys humour in any form...pure classic or vulgar. Abusive language is part of their everyday lives and as such they like the openness of language used in the film.

Bbuddah Hoga tera Baap
Why the hell did I come to watch this movie? Were my thoughts 10 minutes into the movie. Bbuddah hoga tera baap has been compared with Delhi belly for reasons of being released at the same time and both being comedies.

Most of the critics have even pointed out that Delhi Belly is bad and BHTB is good. All those amitabh fans get a lot of joy by watching Amitabh Bachan in a 'superman' type oldie role. Frankly, amitabh might be good in the movie, coz he's simply the personality no one could match. You can say that, he being what he is, has salvaged a ridiculous show of stupidity.

Sonu Sood is a smart fellow, but his talent has been wasted in the film. I think he could do much better roles ! Sonal Chauhan is undoubtedly a pretty face..but that's about it. Hema malini has been aping nirupa roy these days....what with the crying in BHTB and other movies like 'baghban'. Raveena tandon...well best not to say anything.

The movie has amitabh saying something like 'beep beep' whenever any 'gaali' comes to his mind. Another poor joke. It would have been much better if he'd been open about it like vijay raaz in delhi belly.
So the talk about amitabh 'stealing the show' in the movie are all rubbish. There is no show...there is only amitabh.
Overall, if you watch this one after delhi belly after like I did, you're likely to like Delhi Belly than this one ANYDAY !!

Is God an Instrumentation Engineer?

We have been titled as 'Jack of all trades'. I think it is likely that we're 'master of all'. Frankly, its nothing to brag about.

This is the 'occupational hazard' of being an instrumentation engineer. If you work in an engineering company, or are familiar with the working of one, you are no alien to the fact that instrumentation makes up only 10-15 % of the total manhour calculations and also around the same percentage of of the entire budget of the project is dedicated to instrumentation. It is thus, very clear, on paper that we have got less than an ounce of work on the project, when you compare us with biggies like 'Civil' 'Mechanical and 'Piping' (technical departments). In between the huge fabricated vessels, large mechanical rotary equipment like compressors, the intense network of pipe racks throughout the plant, all built on their equally strong and large civil foundations of RCC, it is certainly hard to notice that the huge fabricated vessels have some small tappings, with level sensors, which protect the vessel from overflowing and 'drowning' the plant (its an exaggeration, but its probably the mildest thing that could happen if level controls are not in place !! ). No one would give a damn about those little pressure transmitters at the suction and discharge of compressors...indeed they arent noticeable and I cannot explain how important they are !! Those piperacks, that also accommodate instrument cable ducts and trays. (I cant tell you the purpose of running cables throughout the plant...you must know that yourself instrument engineer or not...if you dont or cant figure that out, you're foolish !!).
The valves, transducers, control systems, the cables, the UPS requirements for all these, the compressor controls, the impulse piping / tubing hookups, Input / Output generation....you name it and we do it...
I thank god, that process engineers do not shirk their responsibility of developing P&IDs. Otherwise we would have to do that too...as P&IDs are 'Piping and Instrumentation Diagrams' !!
Moreover, if the above mentioned equipments do not work, it is most likely that an instrument engineer is called upon first citing suspicions on the malfunction of an instrument in the line rather than the equipment or piping !! I cant remember any examples or I would've written it here. Our problem is that, we do not design equipment that is large in size. But the quantity of the smaller items that make up instrumentation of a plant is larger in number !! For each piece of equipment there might be a 100 instruments !! For 100 equipments the number is quite quite large, if you do the math! Still these small items are lower in cost, but require a lot of design engineering.

In short, they are just like us instrumentation engineers. There are lots of them out in this world who work hard for lesser money than their so called big brothers ...Civil, Piping and mechanical !!

I conclude my small 'essay' with an analogy....
The control system is a system which controls the plant process. Which means that it will alert personnel in case of a hazard, and also trip / shutdown a plant when necessary...and those are just two of the many things it does !!

A control system is like forces of nature which control the earth and its beings.
The 'Forces of nature' were created by God. A very realistic question....Is God an Instrumentation Engineer?? :)

Apna Bazaar

Its official now. Vashi's oldest and most popular supermarket has closed. 'Apna Bazaar' has been closed and now they are going to make a new building in its place. As far as I know, only the ground floor will now house a ministore Apna bazaar in place of the 2 storey superstore.

There was a time when Apna Bazaar was the one and only central hub for shopping. Come Sunday, people crowded into Apna bazaar to shop. It had everything....provisions, pharmacy, toys, bicycles and tricycles, shoes, clothing, stationery, watches, utensils etc. I remember myself going with Mom and Dad almost every sunday back when I was a kid. My sister and I used to help our parents complete their shopping, occasionally slipping goodies like cream biscuits, peanuts, pickwick, cheese and maggi noodles into the shopping basket. In those days, all these items were a treat for us kids !! (still is a treat, but its different now, these 'fancy' items are available in plenty and buying power has increased. Moreover, financially we were not that well to do in those times so our parents rightfully avoided spending on fancy items).

Sometimes I used to get lost inside the store, since there were a lot of rows of racks full of provisional goods. One or two times, I was close to tears, since I couldnt find mom !! Finally, when I did find her I was so happy, I hugged her very tightly and didnt leave mom's side till we reached home !!

On the first floor there was a toys section and I remember that sometimes, me and my sister used to tell mom and dad, we are going to the first floor to look at the toys while they shopped on the ground floor. It was a great joy to look at the toys and discuss our 'prospects' of owning those toys sometime later, when our birthdays would 'entitle' us to ask our parents for those !!!

When shopping was finally over, there used to be a popcorn cart just outside of Apna Bazaar. The man used to sell fresh popcorn for Rs 2 a packet!! Dad bought a packet or two everytime. (If you go to a theatre these days and ask for the smallest portion....its Rs 25 !! Talk about inflation !! ). Sunday shopping was thus a joyful family activity in Apna Bazaar, with the regular popcorn treat !!

As we grew up, vashi grew too, and with the upcoming malls and supermarkets, Apna Bazaar lost a lot of its customers to these big fancy malls. But the advantage remained....Apna Bazaar being a co operative departmental store, rates of provisions have always been subsidized and below the maximum retail prices. Since other supermarkets too offer a subsidy, advantage Apna Bazaar is deuced.
Anyway, 3 cheers for Apna Bazaar, its hard not to feel bad about its closing down. The store is a part of my nostalgia !!

Presentation day

He sees people arriving. He sees them looking at him in a shrewd calculative manner...his attire, his posture, his overall appearance. People gather around, take their seats. He makes the formal exchanges of visiting cards, hopes that the big authority over their would hand his card, for the sake of staying in touch with him. Hoping that Mr. Big Guy would provide him a big market for selling his stuff.
And then starts the presentation. Not that he's much nervous about the presentation. He's done it hundreds of times. He's just slightly worried whether it'll do any good, in terms of increasing his sales, or its just another one of the crappy sessions for a bunch of 'good for nothing' doodle goofy junior employees who are being trained by Mr. Big guy!!
He sees some watching him intently, they're the clever ones, eager to learn, maybe they'll get some business for him !!
He sees some others watching him and smiling at each other, apparently finding him as funny as a joker in a circus, or maybe having a good laugh at the way his tummy makes a big and ridiculous shadow in the light of the projector !!
He watches still others, totally blank, probably not understanding a single word he's uttered !!
The presentation moves on and on, we watches people, some with their eyes wide open, as if deliberately avoiding the temptation of snoozing, some unashamedly doing the same. There is a small 'commotion' as a fellow with a tray arrives. Tea break. Everyone in the dozy lot jumps up to reach out for their cups. Surprisingly, those with their eyes closed are the first ones to get their cups of tea.
By now, the presenter has understood all the people....those who're eager to hear him and those who're ready to sleep !!
Tea time is over, back to the presentation, back to their original activity !!
Presentation moves on and on....there is never enough time....so say the usual... "Since time is short sir, I'll run through these slides quickly and tell you everything in brief."...A good strategy to impress the client. Show him that you know it so well that you can change a long presentation into a short one and still explain everything !! Fact is, the presenter would say the same thing, even if time was enough !!
End of presentation is a 'Thank you' slide. And next is 'Any questions?' Mostly there are none, as most of the people have'nt understood a thing !!
Those who do, ask questions...if the presenter knows the answers (like a good presenter), he'll tell them. If he doesnt...he'll say "Hmm, let me check that and come back to you". Everyone shakes hands, says thank you.

Presentation day in the life of the presenter....thats how it is.

The optimist's journey

My dad had dropped me at the ST stand in vashi, and as soon as I got down from the car, I saw an 'asiad' arrive (Asiads are semi luxury STs or state transport buses) . I climbed into the asiad, which had a lady conductor, who was yelling "Expressway, pune, expressway pune, chala chala chala" (It was a bus going to pune, which would take the expressway route). Usually if you go to pune via the expressway it takes a very short time. When I climbed the bus, it was 12 noon exact. Thinking that I'd be in pune at 1530 hrs latest, I was happy. I had a date with Vrunda at 1700 hrs. As soon as I sat down on a seat, I heard a retching noise. The small girl in front of me, was puking outside the window. Travel sickness. Those with travel sickness puke and others who don't have it feel like puking on seeing them. I got up from that seat and went to another quite some way back. The conductor handed me my ticket and I settled down. As I settled down, I heard the retching again, this time a bit differently. Thinking that the small girl must be really really sick, I started making a music playlist on my mobile so that I could hear songs throughout my journey. I was also thinking about Vrunda, when I heard the retching again, and suddenly realised that its coming from the immediate back seat. There was a small boy there, who was puking. What the hell was happening? Was there a vomiting competition going on?

Ever the optimist, I thought, its good that they are throwing up outside...if it was inside, we would have little puddles of someone's yesterday's l***h. The bus was atleast 10-15 years old I thought with its rattling boards and creaking seats...which is quite normal with these ST buses!!

Unexpectedly, the 'expressway' bus took a detour into the panvel city !! As expected, it got stuck in traffic and it was another half an hour before it reached the panvel bus stand. The bus entered the fuelling station on panvel bus stand and it was around another 25 minutes before we got into the fuel loading bay as there were 5 buses ahead of us !! All passengers were infuriated by this time, obviously !!

Why obviously? Because.....
- The bus had taken the detour into panvel, which was not meant to be...it was an 'expressway' bus....so it had to take the expressway route, which starts before panvel and bypasses all the panvel city traffic, thereby saving travel time !!
- It had entered a fuelling station during a journey. An ST bus does not normally go into fuelling during a journey. This 'activity' also meant wastage of travel time !!

After the fuelling stop, the driver again stopped at the stand for some time (approx 15 minutes). The bus exited the stand through a different route owing to the ongoing road construction. The new route was like a 'village road' and soon all the passengers were being thrown from side to side, up and down and against each others shoulders. My jaw was rattling by the time we had reached the main road again and the boy behind me had a fresh spate of 'waqars'. The time was already 1:30 PM. It had taken a full hour and a half just to exit panvel. By 2 PM we were on the expressway and going smoothly. Luckily the ghats did not have much traffic and we reached the second toll booth by 3 PM. Here the ST made a stop at the 'Kailash Parbat' hotel. Thanks to the coupon system in Kailash Parbat, no one who travels by these buses, gets to eat anything here !!! (The coupon system makes it imperative for people to pay money for their food items, collect coupons and then go to the distribution counter!! The time taken by this process is much more than the time the bus is scheduled to halt!). After the break time was over, the bus conductor started taking a head count. The bus had already pulled out of the parking lot when the conductor completed the head count, and found one head (fellow) missing !!. The driver stopped the bus there itself. A full 5 minutes passed before we saw the missing fellow running towards the bus. The bus conductor reprimanded him... "Kalat naahi kaa ho tumhala? Sangitla 15 minuta tari ardha taasa nantar yeta? Bus jaat hoti ata. Nashib changla hota tumcha." ("Dont you understand? I told you the bus would wait for 15 minutes. The bus was about to leave. It was your good luck that we didnt take off without you!!")
The fellow coolly sat down on his seat without paying the slightest attention to the bus conductor. It was 3:30 PM by this time and pune was atleast an hour away.
The optimist in me reared its head again and said, "Maybe their won't be much traffic in pune city".
So lucky, there wasnt !!!
I reached the pune swargate bus stand at half past 4, the least expected time !!! Half an hour before our date !! I mean, ok I had to rush to grandma's and then get ready, but it could be done !!

My dearest Vrunda was going to pick me up at 5 (In pune, she picks me up, since she's got a two-wheeler !! Its my locational and situational 'majboori' that I cannot do so.). I got ready, and punctual as ever, my Vrunda rang the doorbell at 5 PM sharp !!

We had a lovely date, after such a 'terrible journey'. And of course, in all, I'd say all was'nt well but it ended well !!

Without mercy, without remorse, without compassion

This is a dialogue from the TV series named 'Band of Brothers' based on the story of Easy company 101st Airborne division of the US army during world war II.
A 'Private Albert Blithe' confesses to a 'Lieutenant Ronald Spiers' that he hid in a ditch after making their first parachute jump in Normandy.

He tells the Lieutenant that he was scared and so he hid in the ditch.

The lieutenant tells private Blithe that, that was'nt the real reason why he hid in the ditch. The lieutenant adds that they were all scared when they made the first jump. Spiers follows it up by telling Private Blithe a very effective way of 'Overcoming his fears and fighting like a soldier'

This is what he tells Private Blithe,

'You hid because you think there is still hope. But Blithe...the only hope you have is to accept that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll function as you're supposed to. Without mercy, without remorse, without compassion. All war depends on it.' (from the TV series 'Band of Brothers')

I like this dialogue. And if you read it carefully and understand, you'll like it too.

No pain no gain

No gain without pain? Well, yeah. I remembered this proverb as my memories jogged back to yesteryears, when playing sports were a part of everyday life.

These days we do play sports, but of the mental sorts...and not the ones commonly known as 'games' like cricket, football, kho kho, catch-catch and all.

Falling and hurting yourself was very common and rarely did it result in anything more complicated than the murder of the person who committed the foul !! (if it was a game like football and if the 'fouled up' player was good enough to chase the fouler or was 'big' enough to commit his 'murder'!!!).

The small bruises, the annoying sprains, the huge cuts, the deep wounds, the small abrasions....all contributed to 'pain'. And no matter how bad the pain...it was temporarily forgotten in the frenzy of an exciting ongoing match!! In fact....everything else was forgotten once you got out onto the playground !! It was just a game, but it had to be won...it had to be treated like a war. Once the game was over, you came to terms with the pain which had been temporarily numbed. And then the pain used to hit you and water and medicine would seem to worsen it....Soframycin was great but tincure iodine and antiseptic solutions used to make them burn...so much so that you felt like yelling !! I've had lots of falls.....tripping over, toppling over, falling flat on my face and breaking my tooth, landing on my bums, scraping my knees, bruising my shins, hurting my elbows, spraining my ankles...on top of which I committed quite a few fouls in football myself !!! I have been battered, bruised and hurt. After sometime you get used to these falls, become tougher and grow stronger....its natural.

Its same with life isnt it? You fall, you rise, you fall again, rise again, this time a teensy bit more easily.

Vrunda

The reason I have not been writing any posts on my blog for quite a few ‘days’ is because I cannot think of anything apart from the person after whom the title of the post is named. Vrunda, the new person in my life. This post is dedicated to her. And I know that I won’t do any justice writing a descriptive post, because words cannot describe her. And ‘Wonderful’ seems to be too small a word for this purpose.
My fiancée’s out for a trip with her college friends. And so I turned back to writing a post on my blog, so that I could somewhat douse my longing for her company. I am, of course, unsuccessful.....my longing only increases, and no matter how much I try to involve myself in my routine, I cannot help but remember her every moment.
A poem for her.....written by me....

Nacheez tum ya zaaleem ek pari,
Is dil ko Tadapaa rahe kyon?,
Kyun yuh khayalon me aakar hamare,
Pathar ko pighala rahi ho?

Dil kehta hai, tumhare saath hi baithe rahe,
Zindagi bhar, zindagi you hi kat jaye,
Pyaar karte karte tumse,
Zindagi kaa sunhera geet gaye.

Erratic.

Dictionary definition of erratic: Lacking consistency, regularity, uniformity, having no fixed or regular course.

When you get in contact with an 'erratic person', there are likely to be some sparks. An erratic person can never be right, but the fact that he thinks that hes always right, makes him go horribly wrong. There is a distinct difference between the psycho and the erratic. A psycho is a psycho....the psycho has a medical condition. The erratic acts like a psycho, but has no history of any medical condition. An erratic may be familiar with the symptoms of a psychotic, but cant recognize that he shows the same symptoms.

Erratic behavior is one of the finest techniques of getting on to other people's nerves. It is one of the only 'offence mechanisms' of our body, in that it efficaciously maintains the erratic person's sanity and successfully drives the people around him crazy.

How to recognize an erratic person? Simple..........He'll do insane things, with no consideration for basic etiquettes. He'll not be bothered about what he is talking in front of anybody. He'll contradict himself every second sentence he says. He'll talk like he is alexander the great.

When he starts talking, you feel like you're listening to a radio which is receiving garbled frequencies.

People like that in high up positions are purely chickenshit.

xcuse me.

Always wondered why people say 'excuse me' after the sneeze. Does'nt make any difference if you say it later. But that's what we hear everyone do. Its because, sneezing is involuntary and it comes upon suddenly and once out, its a gun blast without a warning and hell, there isn't any point in saying 'Excuse me'. Rather 'sorry' seems to be correct. But most of us have a habit of saying 'excuse me' after you've blown the wind at 150KMPH.

A friend of mine says 'Excuse me' after he's sneezed. But its strange to hear a big guy like him making such a small sneezing sound. Its actually odd to hear that 'excuse me' when you havent even heard the sneeze itself !!! I once got myself out of his way when he said 'excuse me', thinking that he's having trouble getting past me !!!

A girl in our college class had a sneeze whose sound was midway between a rat squeaking and a lady shrieking when she spots the former.

My own loud sneeze had once scared my one year old niece so much so that her eyes went wide for a fraction of a second, then she started bawling on top of her voice and later we discovered that she'd wet herself !!! She gave terrified looks on seeing me for the next few days !!!

Then, there is the blaster.....the kind of one, one of our neighbour makes......makes your ears ring for a while. My great grand father had a sneeze like that too. My mom tells me that one day, when great grandpa sneezed, my uncle, upturned his eyes and fainted !!!

Strange post to write after so many days....??

Grooming.

Once my education was over, I started working (obviously!!). In school, my teachers, truly taught me, that is, I gained knowledge from them. They were good. I didnt think much of my college teachers. Indeed they were'nt that good either. All of them were just doing their jobs, standing in the classrooms and pointing at some odd figures on the board, explaining diagrams and all that. We, in turn were doing our jobs, keeping our attendance to the bare minimum required in order to pass the year. Teachers were more of a bother to us. We studied on our own, out of books, guides etc. When I took up a job in a company, young and fresh out of college, I had least expected anyone to 'teach' me. It was to be......... that way. They say that experience is the best teacher and so it is.

However, even after being through such 'What-is-a-teacher?' times, I still firmly believe that there should be someone to groom you, throughout your professional life.

There is a thin dividing line between teaching and grooming. When you are in a profession, you're already qualified to do the work and knowledge and experience teach you how to do it. But if you're groomed well, you actually do it with efficiency, quality and 'professionally' at the same level of experience and education.

Due to such limitations as time and manpower, we are plunged into the sea without really knowing how to handle the big waves characteristic of the high seas. All seniors and people in managerial positions seem to be having this attitude. Nothing better, than a kick in the ass of those pesky juniors, who come to us for every little thing. Let them learn for themselves. Throw them into important meetings, discussions with client. Let them sit there, alone and answer all the questions and load them with all possible work. Only then will they learn, how we do it.

I cant quite explain it to you, what I mean to say. But just think about the concept of grooming and you'll realise for yourself.

Crass, huh?

God help me. I think I am turning into an animal. Its not that I am sprouting horns or anything, its just that, I have become indifferent. I dont care much about people (except a few, of course), I dont care that they dont care about me. I am pretty nasty in my thoughts, 90 out of 100 times and dont quite hesitate to implement them. I dont mind it when people tell me bullshit, I am ready to hear whatever snide comments they pass as long as I get to return the favour. I derive a sadistic pleasure in backtalking, replying with a vengeance, raising my voice and yelling at people.

I frequently misunderstand innocence to stupidity, and thunder down upon those idiots. My vision doesnt let me differentiate between a driver with an 'L' plate or otherwise. I treat them all as equals and give them hell of a time anyway. I dont find old college photos nostalgic and think "What a horrible student I was" ,when I see them. I dont like romantic movies interesting and laugh upon those who watch them. I hate those kiddies song shows on TV and swear at those little twerps. I dont care about what you think about this post.

Crass, huh?

Queer?

It was raining yesterday, when I went out on a drive via an intercity road. I could see the mangroves along the shores, dark, bleak and the distant mountains pitch black and tall in the moonless and rainy night. Kind of reminded me of maku's village, where its pitch black at night, so dark, that if you hadnt had the god given body co-ordination, you wouldnt know whether the potato crisp you want to eat is going into the nose or the mouth.

He'd invited me there to his farmhouse. One of my friends (IAK) and I were to join him and his group of 2 cousins and a friend, who'd already reached.

Well ya, so we'd reached maku's farm house in the evening. His farmlands are situated right in the valley of the sahyadri mountain ranges. Its a picturesque place, especially in the monsoons with fields of paddy on one side and cloud covered mountains on the other. We had made plans to make a night trek and have our dinner in the mountain air. One of maku's uncle had prepared dinner and was going to be our 'local guide' to the way up to a clearing in the woods, where we would have our dinner. We packed the food, and started off, equipped with battery operated torches and a 'laalten' (A kerosene lamp). The moment we crossed the fence, it was obvious that we would have to stick together to avoid getting lost in the darkness. Maku's uncle leading the way, we passed through the fields, breathing the fresh and cool air. Thankfully, it was not raining at that time. We had a nice one hour trek to the place where we were supposed to be having dinner. We enjoyed our time up there. Maku's uncle downed a full 'desi' liquor bottle and rest of us contended ourselves with cold drinks. Maku's village has a lot of queer stories, the ones which are typical in an isolated village. These stories include ghost sightings, animal sightings and other such incidents. Panther and wild boar sightings are a common phenomenon there. Maku's uncle told us a lot of real life stories that night.

After stories and dinner, we started back. There was a small stream of water which we had to cross. Maku's uncle spotted two crabs in the water (not uncommon, there). He is known in the village to be an expert crab-catcher. True to his reputation, and that too after he'd downing half a bottle of liquor, he swooped his hands into the water and came up with the crab, which was struggling against his firm grip. All this was done in a flash of a second !!. He'd caught the crab between the shell and the pincers.

He took hold of a container and put the 'still struggling' crab inside it, closed the lid and handed the container to me. Thereafter, when I held the container, I could feel the crab knocking against the walls of the container !!!

He went after the second crab, which was crawling ahead with great speed. Uncle took one of maku's cousins along with him to hold the torch. He asked us to wait at the very spot. We saw them go along the stream a long way, and finally out of sight as the stream twisted and turned through the woods. After sometime, we started worrying about uncle and maku's cousin. Both were gone for a long time. We were stranded and couldnt move without our 'guide'. We started contemplating whether to go see where they had gone. I said "Guys, if it rains, we'll be soaked to our skin." My friend IAK responded by saying, "It didnt rain when we trekked up, nor did it rain when we ate our dinner, beneath the open sky, why now?".

A moment later, as if someone above had heard our conversation.............it started raining. We couldnt wait there now. There was no shade. Uncle had not come back. So we decided to follow the stream along which he and maku's cousin had gone. As we were walking along, we started calling them aloud. There was no response. After walking clumsily in the rocky bed of the stream, we came up to a point where the stream narrowed and it was covered with an arch of bushes, so that you couldnt see beyond. We must have shouted out for them 7-8 times from there and there was no response. Then suddenly, maku's cousin called back, "We're coming". And then they appeared, ducking under the bush-arch. They had finally caught the second crab too.

Later, when we reached his house, maku asked his uncle...."Where were you?". He said that he'd chased the crab for quite a long distance and had finally caught him just some distance away from the arch of bushes. Maku asked him why he did not answer to our calls. His cousin who was with his uncle told maku that they'd answered aloud the first time they heard his voice. Maku said that he'd called out several times near that bush there. But strange as it seems, maku's cousin and his uncle, heard our voices only once, even though both parties were near the bush.

It could be nothing but isn't it just worth noting that,

-Rains only started when maku's uncle disappeared, compelling us to go after him instead of waiting there as he had told us to? It wasnt raining throughout our excursion....and just started at that time? As a matter of fact, it did not rain again all night and even the next day?

-If we were around say just a few feet away from the bush arch and they were a few feet away too, only on the other side, where we couldnt see them, how could they have heard our voices only once when we yelled our throats out for around 2 minutes continuously?

Was it just be maku's drunk uncle and his non-drunk cousin lying? Or was it simply another one of those queer incident which happened there?

Independence day.

15th August is our Independence day. We celebrate the Independence of our country by exercising the following rights.............

Right to spit anywhere.

Right to throw rubbish outside the window of your car.

Right to use loudspeakers that create hell of a noise at any festival.

Right to put up large posters anywhere where it says 'Stick no bills'

Right to go at a red signal light.

Right to use the countryside as your urinal.

Right to write 'I love you' on the walls of famous monuments.

Right of doing wrong?

Khau galli and the stain on my shirt.

My friend R and I go out for lunchtime at a place called 'Khau galli'. Now, khau galli is not a very unique name and every 'galli' in India, where there are quite a few 'khaana stalls' with little seating arrangements is called a khau galli. The best part about such 'Khau gallis' is that you get a variety of foods.....and our 'KG' is no different. With the variety of foods, there seem to be a variety of germs. Hygiene is minimum and flies are maximum. Crows may fly and perch themselves on the table next to you and dogs might touch their noses to your feet, when you are sitting, enjoying the food. To counter all these 'anti-social elements' for customers, stall owners put a 'dhoop' or an essence stick on your table, which they think will drive the flies, crows and bees (did I mention bees? no I didnt, well, now I did) away. It definitely DOES NOT drive anything away. In fact, you spend half your time shooing the flies and the other half making the same shooing motion with your hands, only this time to drive away the oncoming vapours from the 'dhoop'. The flies, crows and bees have developed immunity towards 'dhoop' , same way as we have developed immunity against germs, eating the unhygienic food of KG.

My mom makes me a food tiffin and I take this along with me to KG. Here, outside food is allowed, if you place a small order. So, we go there in the afternoons to escape the air conditioned confines of our office and order something like buttermilk or something.

After lunch we have paan, at times. The other day, R and I ordered our custom paan........calcutta sadha paan, with chilkaa supaari and a dash of gulkand. The paanwalla folded the paan into a neat triangle and handed one to me. As I put it into my mouth, the gulkand dribbled out of the corner of the paan, right on to my favourite bright coloured white shirt with blue and yellow stripes. I was aghast !!! It was a huge blot of red guaranteed to leave a permanent stain (gulkand can leave permanent stains) . I applied some water to it and it was worse......it spread!!!. I had to go back to office wondering what to do. Everyone in the office kept staring at my shirt. I told anyone who would listen (no one did), that the boss had 'fired' me and so the blood. But only I managed to laugh valiantly at my own stupid joke. Later, I went to the washroom and put water on it again. When it dried off, I pinned my identity card on my collar end, so that it dangled on my right pocket and somewhat covered the major part of the stain. I hoped that there were no meetings that day and so lucky that there werent any.

Again, luckily, my mom managed to 'vanish' the stain. My favourite shirt is ready for use again.

Zindagi jeeni hai sahi

Is kadar bhid gaye zindagi ki daud se,

Ke jeene ka matlab bhool gaye,

Kinaare chod diye woh hasi ke,

Aur samundar jitne aasoo bhaaye.

Phool khilne ki khushi ko bhula diye,

Kaanto par hi chalte rahe,

Chod diye shital bhare saaye woh,

Dhoop se jal kar rakh hue.

Bachon ki woh masumiyaat,

Bhulaa kar to aarso beete,

Duniyaadaari ka sabak seekhte seekhte,

Insaan se jaanwar kab ban gaye?

Dil kaunsa aur pathar kaunsa,

Poocho khud ko, Farak hai yaa nahi?

Abhi bhi sawar sakte ho bande,

Zindagi jeeni hai sahi.

-By me (Asking for pardons.....just in some mood for poetics)

Exercising in a 'glassy' gym

Our gym is on the ground floor. It has a glass panel. It offers a nice view of the outside world. Trouble is....we are exposed to the 'outside world' too. Its one thing for us, to look at the beautiful skies from the inside. Quite startling to see people staring at us, while we are working out. In fact, I completely understand how animals in a zoo feel when they are being watched by humans, from outside the cage.

In fact, I can almost imagine people offering bits of crumbs of toast to us through the lower ventilation openings in the glass or lobbing biscuits over the upper louvers !!!

People watch curiously, others point rudely, still others laugh, some others stare with their mouths open staring at the pretty chicks on the treadmills and the stepper-cycle......you'll see all of those and still more outside 'open gyms'

While you might think its a bit absurd, having glass panels for the gym, gym owners think its great advertising. People come to know that there is a 'gym down there'. The 'pretty chicks' are crowd pullers for freaking desperadoes. Quite apart, you generally come to know about the equipment that's there in the gym. I know it sounds quite strange to those hard core weight training fans and body building purists, but the majority of Indians who go to classy gyms....check out the cardio equipment.....and you'll see that against the glass !!! (Of course, no one would keep weights near the glass....for fear of the weights breaking the glass and causing a nasty accident.).

Usernames, passwords, emails and chat IDs

The advent of internet and networking, brought the need to maintain online security and privacy of its users. Experts devised a simple way. The use of 'usernames' and 'passwords'. A username is nothing but an online name.....your intials, your name, first name initials, last name full and various such combinations. Password is a string of characters, which only the user is supposed to know. It could be a number, few alphabets or alphanumeric. Generally, the username becomes your email ID. E.g (username)@website.com. The username used in office is generally more or less fixed by your network administrator. But here I am talking of the one which we create ourselves, the one used on a public website.

I have observed that, at times, these usernames may well be an indication of the people whom they belong to. Middle aged aunties, who've just discovered how the net is used have a very straight forward username, probably followed by the year in which they have created the ID. Most probably, they'll keep the password same as the username, coz they might probably think that it would be better if its the same, so that they wont forget it. Fair enough......however they tend to forget their username as well !!!

At times, the username is same as the chat ID or vice versa. Young guys, who'd love to meet someone online in a chat room would have the typical 'macho' username or chat ID.

handsomehunk or muscleman or imyourman are common chat IDs. People who are willing to reveal their age (or fake it for obvious purposes) keep an 'asl' chat ID (age-sex-location..........the cool chat lingo) . For example, 18maledelhi.......... or a more 'sophisticated' one would be 21handsomemaledilli-6. They'll keep an age which, in their opinion would be the most attractive age to girls, even if they happen to be as old as 28 or as young as 15.

This is not an exception to girls...........sweet16goingon17 is an example of an 'oh-so-sassy' chat ID, guaranteed to pull all the boys of all the chat rooms of a public chat.

Coming back to usernames again, people who have an uncommon name can exercise the best option of a using the username, so that their email address becomes First name.Last name@website.com or firstnamelastname@website.com.

For those who have a common name, would find the above format is not available for them, as their are already people who have that name, and have already kept that email ID.

And so poor souls like my friend irfan, with names common with about a 1000 people in this world, go in for keeping an email ID, which also has their birthdate suffixed.

And for poor soulds like me, with a name common with about 10000 people in this world, go in for an email ID, which has their birthdate, month and maybe even birth year suffixed.

Cant say much about passwords, but a popular password is the name of a person suffixed with something like 123 or maybe their birthdates.

Believe me, its not easy to think up passwords, if your office server keeps asking you to change password on a quarterly basis........after all it cant be xyz123 all the time can it ???!!!

Tumbling like a pack of cards.

They've all been scurrying away, spreading in all directions, tumbling like a pack of cards, falling like dried leaves. Ain't talking about anything else but the people who've resigned from our department in our company in the last two months.

Job shifting is nothing new. People do it all the time. But its one thing for 1-2 people in a single department to go per year and something else when 8 people quit their job (all in a single department) in a space of 2 months.

When recession hit us hard, the people on contract were told to pack up. All others feared for the security of their jobs and even those of the dozy lot were seen working. The older 'so-many-years-in-company-no-one-tells-me-to-walk-off-even-if-I-have-coffee-all-the-time' were finally facing justice. It was'nt long before, people gave better performance for fear of being kicked out. Now that's what's called performance pressure !!

That was a year back. Slowly the market gained. Job availability is better now. And so people have quit !! In need of better jobs, in need of better packages, better work and best of all.....a better boss !!

Now that so many people have resigned, others in the department have started eyeing each other suspiciously. The 'are you quitting?' look has become most familiar. Lot of money is lost for contributions towards farewell gifts, farewell parties etc. And the trend of quitting has grown so exponentially that, I have started wondering whether I'll have to buy myself a farewell gift, if I dont quit soon, myself !!

Hello california again.

I left office and immediately had the feeling that there is a lot of packing left. Travelling to faraway places requires packing and no matter how well planned your 'packing schedule' it always leaves something to be desired, at the last moment. So as usual before I left home to catch the san francisco flight, there were a lot of things to be done, bought, and packed. My bag had been packed and repacked and rerepacked before finally leaving the house at around 10:30 PM. There wasnt much traffic on the road as a result of which we reached early, checked in early and got bored early sitting in the waiting lounge near the departure gate. Anyway, the airport is full of shops and eateries and I had a nice time watching expensive liquor bottles of the finest brands on display, chunky watches with prices so chunky they make you feel faint !! Finally the boarding announcement was made and we got into the flying machine. I had a window seat. No matter how many times, I have sat in a plane, I never fail to feel amazed at the size of the aircraft and at the fact that something this huge even flies at all !!!
The plane took off, the mumbai lights went smaller and smaller and finally disappeared. I mostly slept and ate through the first flight. An eventful flight it was. The landing was in foggy conditions and only when we were very close to the ground did I see the water of the south china sea. The landing was quite soft nevertheless.
At hong kong airport, we had starbucks coffee and me and dad had a great time doing some window shopping. The Hong Kong airport is huge and has a view of the airport runways, the sea and the Hong Kong city. I took videos of aeroplanes taking off and taxing. There was this sardarji who met us at the airport. He was going by the same flight that was taking us to san francisco. He was a religious preacher and the gurdwara committee in US had invited him to preach. He looked like a leader of the Akali Dal party and I came to know that this fellow had travelled to places like England and Canada and amazingly, did not know how to speak English. He knew only hindi. I filled up his emigration form for him during the second flight.
The second flight was as normal as the first one....except for the turbulence near Mt Fuji where the seat belt sign was turned on and remained on for atleast an hour. This was bad, as I needed to pee badly. After the seat belt sign finally turned off, I got up from my seat and immediately realised, I wasnt the only one with a full bladder. Lot of people wanted to pee, and it was another 15 minutes before I finally relieved myself having moved ahead in the queue!!!
I watched the hindi movie, 'blue' and slept. No one who has watched blue would have managed not to sleep after it !!
I listened to some music after that and played games on the entertainment centre. Like all of my home PCs, the entertainment centre produced a software error and crashed when I started a game !!! I called the attendant and he got it reset for me !!!
We landed in san francisco in bright sunshine and a pleasant 18 degrees celcius. The emigration interviewer asked me........
Interviewer: Why are you here?
Me: To visit my sister, she lives here in sunnyvale.
Interviewer: So what more are you going to do apart from visiting her? Sit home and watch TV?
Me: hahaha....no I am going for some sightseeing as well.....san fran and some other places like vegas mebbe.
He asked me some other routine questions as well and then stamped his emigration stamp on my US visa. We took our baggages and came out of the airport area. My sister was there to pick us up. The journey had ended well and apart from a huge nap in the afternoon there were no 'jet lag' effects.
We celebrated my niece's first birthday with a small function on the 18th April where I met many of my sister and her husband's colleagues and friends. They are very nice people.
Right now, we are planning our sightseeing schedule. I have been out on the bicycle to some local stores and am having fun playing with my one year old niece. Will keep updated.

Pyramids of Giza.

Sheaves of papers, minarets of memos, leaning towers of files and huge piles of product catalogues make up a cluttered office desk. It adds importance to your repute in the office. People start thinking you work a lot and if you add a coffee mug to your desk 'decor' and have swollen eyes, people take their hats off to 'the man who shoulders the responsibility of the world'.

But cluttered desks are actually a nuisance to others.

You approach your boss and ask him for some important papers and he points to a small 'pyramid' on his desk and says, "Its somewhere there.You'll just need to search a bit." That 'searching a bit' is equivalent to searching for a needle in the haystack. You approach the misorganized 'tomb of khufu' and slowly as you come nearer you marvel at its precise balance, the haphazard, yet perfectly sound structure and, long gone, is your faith in the laws of gravity !!! You put your hand on what could be an engineering marvel and it comes crashing down and your boss yells...."Lousy careless bugger.....Be a bit more careful will you?"

You eat the words....after all, he is your boss....and he has so carefully 'constructed' the genius creation you just destroyed !!

Ironic to your situation, the creator of the 'tomb of khufu' is able to find the paper as well as remove it from the pile without disturbing the earlier arrangement. This makes you wonder whether you have a set of the worlds most careless pair of hands or your boss is a goddamn lucky bastard that he removed the papers without disturbing any other damn paper.

Cluttered desks are good when it comes to giving excuses. "Oh, its better you take a copy of the memo from xyz. There is no way we'll find it in this mess" or

"Hey, dont disturb me right now, see how busy I am, all this paperwork and nobody files these papers."

If someone of this sort tells me that he's going on leave and that I'll find all the relevant papers on his desk........I'll be off on leave as well.

Wondering whether I should vote this year?

Elections for the 'nagar sevak' or corporator are just around the corner and campaigning is in full swing. The other day, the doorbell rang. The music was playing and no one was at home and ,swinging the steps in line with the music, I opened the door. There was a big crowd outside my house and all had worn white clothes and colourful scarves. The man up ahead was a big hulking figure with a large belly that seemed to be a 'beered' one (beer belly). 'Namaskar, me xyz, aaple aashirwad pahijet, hyaa varshi amhaalach safal kara, mat dyaa, kalyan kara' (Namaskar, I am xyz, give us your blessings, make us successful this year !!). I stood there for a minute in my half chaddis, wondering what he had said. Then I realised that it was election time and this fellow was a candidate....the 'aashirwad' mentioned was my vote and safalta (success) meant his victory.

These people take their large crowd from house to house asking for 'aashirwads'.

All candidates have set up stalls locally, with huge banners on them with their own stupid photos smiling on them. Party names have been displayed. They take up a sort of rally everyday, with their supporters shouting victory slogans and cheering their candidates. They look like a real angry mob approaching and an outsider would start wondering whether he should take cover. They burst firecrackers as they go and shout on top of their voices. They annoy you with the noise they create and you start cursing them and make vows to yourself not to vote for the candidate who creates noise. But all of them do and you start thinking that mebbe voting for any of them at all, is a bad idea. Most of us don't know what work any of them have done and, the heck.....there's no way of finding out. All politicians make promises and never keep them and that is the universal truth.

I wonder whether I should vote this year at all?

IPL

The IPL match was certainly an experience, whatever people say about it being hot in the stadium, not getting the required views like the TV camera does, and not being able to see the ball from a distance. I can tell you, after watching one IPL match, that whatever be it.....you have to go to a stadium to watch a cricket match....just for the atmosphere..!! Its best when you have a huge group.

So irfi having booked the tickets for the IPL, we were off on Sunday to the DY Patil stadium...me, irfi, chakot and two of irfi's friends....avinash and govind. We took my car as there were 5 of us and left 1 and a half hour early for getting a good parking spot. As we reached Nerul, we realised that everybody had the same idea (obviously !!). So after a zillion turns and trillion lanes, we finally found a parking space and believe me........ we were lucky to have got a parking space at all. And then it was a short trek to the gates, through big crowds.....it looked like the whole world had come to watch the match. Irfi being the tallest was ahead and we were following him. Usually I am not easily visible among crowds....height being less.....but none of the 5 wanted me out of their sight, coz it was my car they had come in and my car they would ride home in !!

So having stood in a queue for sometime, we made our way inside. (which we had to make sure was a queue to the gates !!)

Having found our seats, we sat and the match began in a few moments.

Roars from the crowd as Sachin walked up to the pitch, swinging his arms, warming up. Sachin gets the loudest cheer, when he walks, talks to the umpire, when he is batting, adjusting his groin guard, signalling the third man for a change of gloves......in fact he would get a cheer in DY Patil stadium even if he is not playing in the match !! Thats 'the' awe-inspiring Sachin Tendulkar for you !!

And for crowds in India....Symonds is a universal target for jeering......

"Hum sab ke neeche kaun? Symonds.......... Symonds.........." And I dont need to explain the meaning of that to you.

Sachin played some swashbuckling shots,. He was hitting the ball so easily, it was as if he was playing with a rubber ball!!

Meanwhile there was this fellow in the crowds in front of us who was standing up just when the ball was being bowled...After being told off many a times by all 5 of us....he kept doing it.

Finally, Avinash cracked, jumped off his seat, nudged him and said "Arre khaali bas naa saalyaa, ball taaktaanaa tari, saalya pahilyandi aala kaa match baghayala?" (Now saalya, saala, saale is universal. Rest of the translation of the marathi statement is ...."Sit when the ball is being bowled atleast. Have you come to watch the match for the first time?." ) Now this was saying something, as Avinash had come to watch the match for the first time too!!!

Avinash and that fellow had some bitter exchanges, but soon a policeman walked up and asked both of them to calm down and told the man to be seated. Avinash outbreak was effective as the man did not get up again to even celebrate and cheer with the crowd!!!

Mexican waves were being made and every time a six or a four was hit by the mumbai indians the roar of the crowd would be deafening. The sexy cheerleaders were cheering and the crowd danced with them.

The middle 10 overs were boring and we thought Mumbai Indians were playing slowly and would face a huge defeat. But the last five overs were very exciting as harbhajan played a swashbuckling innings. Crowds cheered him loudly, if possible the loudest (as with tendulkar).Mumbai Indians made 171/7 as a total score.

We rarely thought about food during the match but those dominoes and macdonalds guys kept carrying their food items and tempting me.....but we had decided to have dinner later.

The deccan chargers made a weak start and they lost gilchrist early. No one really played an innings like Bhajji that day....

I remember Gibbs hitting a couple of fours which were really great to watch. But not as great as it was to watch Bhajji and Tendulkar.

The Deccan chargers buckled out for 131....thanks to some fine bowling by the likes of Zaheer, Malinga and.......... bhajji, once again spinning the way to victory.

We had work to do.....and that was getting to the parking through the huge crowds. We had dinner in Hotel Bhagat tarachand and it seemed like there were only people from the IPL match crowd who had come to eat at that place !!

Night-outs

Could'nt really bring myself to write down anything in the new year really. Managing the house alone really overburdens a carefree, innocent and creative mind like mine (ahem !!!) . No doubt, there is the independence of operating alone, being the boss and having a gala time. But then its a dud doing all the house work, which is normally taken for granted by us, due to the presence of a certain demigod, called 'mom'.

Well, anyway, when I was younger (a bit younger than I am now.), being alone in the house meant a party at night, at my place. We used to call these overnight stays as 'night-outs'. No one in the house....mom dad gone for some work...it used to be a perfect setting for a night time party at my place. KC, me, laal, irfi, oneil, abhi, dinesh, makarand, chakot........jitik sometimes. Laal and KC used to pick up some cold drinks (no hard liquor in the house), irfi used to bring down a movie CD. Abhi used to tell us that he would come 'shayad'.....dinesh made one or two appearances, oneil was there most of the times and he was my laughing partner

Chakot used to come late (as usual). He used to bring nothing except a sleepy face. Jitik used to come....and it was a wonder when he did.....coz he normally did not. (God knows why?)

The night used to begin at my place after dinner, which we had outside or each had dinner at home or something. The cold drink bottles were out and Irfi's movie CDs were played. We watched them. And no matter how serious the movie was, we always managed to laugh...with one thing or another. We even watched movies like 'omen' and laughed them out !!!

If you asked me...how could you laugh at a serious movie? I would say that, leave it....you would never understand !!!

After this some people would drop off to sleep.....but sleeping wasnt allowed on a night out.....so we would hit these 'sleeperzzz' with pillows, pinch them hard, sit on them or they would receive a mass 'punch fest' !!

We also watched crazy regional movies....which had some hilariously ridiculously unreal and unimaginable scenes...which had us rolling on our sides with laughter.....

It is 'seriously funny' to see a hero on a bike jump into the back of a tempo truck and turn out from the windshield from the other side !!! Or to see a hero somersault from the first floor to the ground floor of a building and then take a back somersault and again land on the second floor !!! Or a japanese martial art expert balance on bamboos and still manage to fight the enemy!!

The hours passed by, and at around 4 am all of us used to hungry....so we used to cook some 'egg bhurji' and enjoy eating it !! Or we used to go out to have the same (Bhurji business is maximum in the early mornings!)

Occasionally, we used to have very serious chats on topics of interest. Used to be fun all the same.

All those times have passed. Its nothing great to be alone at home....its not an occasion...its just ok.

Many of my friends have gone to faraway places to work.

Ultimately, what will remain is memories of these crazy, enjoyable 'night outs'. !!

Appreciation? what's that?

The value of appreciation......

Rarely are we appreciated.....in the company we work for.....for the work we do, for the jobs we have completed, for the problems we have solved, for the positive outcomes inspite of the infavourable conditions.

Its just that we get used to living with the thanklessness.

Money is the appreciation. And every service class man realises this within the first year of his very first job. Think about it the other way. Would you have just the appreciation part of it and not the money? Nope. Nobody would like that, would they?

Plane class.

Ok. So we are busy and all that, both of us (me and dad) with office work and everything. But both of us made it a point to look out for international flight fares to my sister's place. Travelling to a faraway country requires money....a lot of it. And it requires middle class people like us to do a bit of a research on the cheapest flight fares. I always thought that 'economy' class is a great way of saying 'the lowest possible class' in an airplane. And although it isn't quite 'economical' for us poor dingos to travel by 'economy' its always a better way to call it 'economy' as opposed to a commonplace and banal sounding 'second class' or 'third class' in trains !!!

'First class' does'nt sound that great either. But as per my knowledge its the best in both trains and planes (correct me if I'm wrong). Business class sounds truly classy. I can almost picture people sitting in business suits, travelling in style. But again, my knowledge tells me that business class is below first class in an airplane. No one's heard of a business class in trains and the only guy who would be wearing blazers in the train (most of the times) is the TC. There are some other classes like premium class and other show - shine names that airline companies have given but strictly speaking, nobody travels like the President of the United states or a sheikh from Qatar. I've heard of a term called 'cattle class' in planes. Made me think whether booking a cattle class ticket gives you a license to sit amongst mooing cows or bleating sheep?

Apparently, no. Cattle class is just another name for the poor old economy class.

Talking about seats, in international flights, never take a front row seat in any section of the plane....coz you might be near a baby bassinet.............and god save you if the baby in the baby bassinet starts bawling at the top of its voice, acting like a monster. People with long legs have good leg room if they take a front seat.....compensation....they might have to stuff their ears for fear of noise pollution of the baby bawls !! And, if you think baby bawls are bad.....the extreme back seats are worst.....coz there it is the air pollution which will kill you, in a long distance flight.

I always find that the window seat behind the wing is the best. I love that place.

Darling, we're the young ones.

Live the freedom, sing in the rain,

Feel the passion, Love the pain,

Dance on a tune, act like a fool,

Spend on a whim, its so cool,

Fight the fire, play with the flame,

Take the lead ,get on with the game.

Hard as a diamond, tough as a rock,

Fit as a fiddle, round the clock.

Days pass on, you never cry,

Whatever happens, it passes by,

This is the feeling, this is the fun,

This is the life of a young one.

-By me.

No work

In times of recession when professionals sit idle in office, there starts a trend of introducing what higher management calls 'development activities' and I call as 'useless games'. Reviews, safety seminars, technical seminars, leadership and management seminars, vendor seminars etc, are all a part of this plot.

Also, at such times, its interesting to see even the people higher up, going deeper down in the roots of superficial problems which otherwise are solved in a jiffy, without being fussed over. But the times are bad, and everyone needs an activity, and jumping on even a minor problem gives them a feeling of having done something. And so, start the 'tamashas', people yell over petty issues, take a bite at others, scramble like rats and blow up the whole issue into one big volcano.

Unrest is natural amongst all who are suffering woes having no work, but making a lot of noise, or making a mountain of a molehill gives some a feeling of importance which they miss in such times.

Believe me, its no fun going to a place where there is no work.....no work at all. Some rest in between is alright, but no work at all is bad, very bad. There are some who disagree, they say its good fun....no work and salary all the same. I beg to differ.

Dark times shall pass.

Itna kyun darta hai saaye se,

Saaya to deta hai saath....

Parchaayee ka andhera chaaye to kyaa hua...

Dooji taraf to kirano kaa bhi haath...

Kyun darta hai andhere se...

Andhera to aana hi hai...

Chalta nahi woh pura kaal,

Waqt do, usse jaana hi hai...

Darta kyaa hai kaale badalo se..

Dete woh hume paani...

Sarwaswi dekar apna balidaan,

Dharti khilaate hai saari...

Kyun darta hai Bhavishya se,

Ek din to aata hi hai...

Sukh se ya dukh se jaaye kyaa,

Usse bhi bhoot banaa hi hai..

Darta kyaa hai bhoot se,

Soch ki woh mayajaal,

Bhavishya ki chintaa to kar hi mat,

Apna vartaman sambhaal.

-by me.

The adventure of bargaining.

Bargaining is a part of shopping. Its a kind of victory that kicks the heart of a true shopper. And while these are the days of chain stores, fixed price tags and forever 'sale' strategies, hard true bargainers don't come off without trying. Just take an incident for instance. One of my relatives picked out around half a dozen books after half a dozen rounds in the book store spending half an hour there. After carefully picking out the books that he wanted....he asked the cashier fellow to bill it....and asked for a discount. The cashier replied by saying that the rates are fixed. So my relative left the store empty handed and asked some of his 'contacts' in pune to check whether a discount was available in one of pune's leading book store for the same books (he had memorized their titles). Now, going by the price tags of the books....I dont think it was quite worth it to spend that much time and energy.

Time....for the two trips we made to the store....once when he picked out those books for the first time and next when we came back to really buy those books, once he found out that his contacts in pune, too, could'nt get a discount on those same books!!

Energy....the car fuel we wasted in making two trips to the store + fuel in his contact's car for making their trips to the store.

So much for bargain !!!

With most bargainers there is a trend in bargaining.........Shopkeeper quotes the price......Hard bargainer makes a disbelieving face or a disbelieving noise or both......he / she says "Kuch bhi, barabar price bataana" (Tell the correct price). Shopkeeper goes on telling the customer how good the item is and how he wouldnt get the same quality item anywhere else in this world.

On which the customer replies...."Yeda mat bana.....baaju waale dukaan me same cheez kam price mein mil rahi hai.....main tumhare yahaan bahut saal se shopping kar raha hu....to barabar daam bolna...mein tumhara purana customer hu " (Dont fool me, the same item is available in the next store at a lower price....I have been shopping at your place for quite sometime now....so tell me the correct price for old times sake.) Finally after a lot of haggling....the customer and the shopkeeper settle down to a price which is round about a mean value of both parties' respective quotes. The shopkeeper puts up a show....his tone suggesting that 'these days we get fooled by customers'. However in reality he is happy with the deal as his margin is quite what he had expected !. The customer in turn after a happy bargaining 'stint' puts up his own show...where he grumbles about how things are getting expensive these days and that shopkeepers have turned out to be 'highway robbers'. In reality he is happy to have got a great deal or definitely happy by the sense of achievement given by bargaining !!

I remember some years ago...we used to bargain at fashion street in mumbai. When a shopkeeper quoted a price....we used to say to him "Itne mein dena hai to do." If he said no.....we used to walk on ahead...and many a times he would chase you...and say "Le lo saahab....aapke bataye hue daam par hi deta hu, chalo !!" We used to buy the item, then

There is a kind of adventure in bargaining which gives shoppers a high...From 'roj ki sabji' to expensive home appliances....bargaining rules. It adds an extra element to the shoppers delight !!